Missionary Anna - kiwi tales!

breaking the barriers

2012-01-22T20:47:00.004+13:00

Well it hasn't exactly been a New Year resolution, but it has mostly been since the New Year that I've been putting it into action, but on the grounds that I don't generally make a list and even when I do I have a lousy track record of sticking to them, I'll call it a goal and leave it there!

So, what was it? Basically to increase the amount of exercise I get on days when I'm not working - ie when I don't get a brisk walk up the hill (as I'm usually cutting it fine timing-wise), several hours on my feet and then usually a somewhat more sedate walk home. I realised it was all too easy, especially on wet days, not to venture any further than the compost heap at the bottom of the garden. Not that that matters too much occasionally, but I realised with the long holiday it could end up happening more often than not.

Having a PO Box rather than mail delivered to the house does help at least get me out on a fairly regular basis - but as I don't get that much mail and it is only a 15min walk round trip along the flat in anycase it wasn't really going to cut the mustard, even assuming I actually went each day and didn't just leave it until tomorrow...

So I'd been getting into the habit of taking a rather circuitous up and down hill route to the mail boxes which was an improvement of sorts. But I realised I needed to come up with a few more circular routes of various lengths to get me out of the 'there and back again' walk to the Plaza (and the healthfood shop) which was usually the limit of my exercise.

When I was in Auckland after Summer Gathering I'd stayed with Jennie for a couple of nights and ended up walking to the nearest shopping mall - firstly to buy some groceries and the next day do some 'city shopping'. I realised that I was walking further than I had for a while, not without feeling pretty knackered afterwards admittedly, especially given the heat and humidity, but considerably further than I had expected to manage. But because it was unknown territory I didn't have the psychological blocks of beyond a certain point being 'too far', especially to be carrying a bag of groceries, I also didn't have much choice which is a great motivator!

So today I put it to the test, deliberately not walking along the main route through town that I normally take I decided to break beyond the psychological barrier of Griggs Corner - walking the length of Matthews Ave to the Intermediate School. Having got that far it was then a short distance over the bridge and there I was at Bells (greengrocer and deli) and not that far short of the new PaknSave. Not wanting to over-do it I stuck to Bells, had a good look around (having never been there before) treated myself to some cherries and headed for home. The round trip took all of 50mins! Hardly the huge walk it had always been in my head.

To be fair though 6 months ago it really would have been too far as even the Plaza and back took some serious psyching up for. It was certainly a mark of how much fitter I am again which was a relief.

So, with debt free days in my sights for later this year (mutter mutter, international students fees, etc etc). I'm beginning to think about getting a bike at some point - but a sit up and beg type shopping one, with a basket, not exactly high speed or anything, but a means of getting a few cartons of rice/soy milk etc home from PaknSave or veggies from Bells without straining the muscles in my shoulders that carrying a laden backpack did on the one I used to use. Unless I choose there are no hills in the way to put a strain on my knees either, so who knows, it might happen yet.

But in the meantime I'm going to try to get into the habit of doing that round trip regularly if I can, which will be much easier to manage whilst the cherries are still in season!

where there's a will...

2012-01-20T21:14:00.003+13:00

Yesterday I went to sort out a will, for the first time. Despite having grown up knowing what a hassle it was to die intestate (ie without one) I'd put it off for years, about um, well 20 of them. Partly through uncertainty of cost, partly through uncertainty of life and partly because I'd never got my act together. But one of the wonders of facebook are those random prompts in life - Cathy (in the UK) mentioned it was her new year resolution to write hers and how her union did them for free, I commented wondering if that was the case here too and Marion (yes the same one!) pointed out that whilst my union probably didn't, Public Trust did.

So a few days, a few clicks of the mouse and a couple of phonecalls later there I was 2 mins around the corner from home completing the forms!

It was a rather strange process to go through - what of my stuff was actually worth itemising and gifting to particular individuals? Not a lot really, if I was to get run over by a bus tomorrow then I'm sure I can think of a few folk who would appreciate my laptop, sewing machine and camera - but are they really worth listing now for the hopefully longer term? Okay so I was advised to update my will every 2-3yrs but even so...

Then there was the other side of things - who might want a memento or a particular item that had sentimental meaning, and who was I to decide that? So with the one exception of gifting to my godson the quilt I was making when he was born I left that for those who are left behind to worry about for me. Sorry and all that, I copped out.

It is an odd process, especially when you don't have a partner or children, to try to think about who might be around when you have no concept as to whether you are preparing for next week, year, decade or in 50yrs time (I'm reasonably sure I won't see the next centuary, living in two is enough methinks!). When I think about who was important in my life of my generation or younger say 10-15yrs ago and who is now, there are some pretty major shifts - including having shifted physically half way around the world! I guess that is why they suggest you keep it updated.

It is also odd dwelling on the thought of your own mortality, for a couple of my friends this is currently a very real issue for them, despite them both being almost a decade younger than me. One lifelong condition and one more recent, both have to deal with a large degree of uncertainty and the hope that they can live long enough for medical science to come up with a solution. It is one thing knowing that about someone, it is another to put yourself in their shoes, no matter how temporarily, and have to think through the implications of your death and what you want to happen to you and your stuff decades before your allotted three score year and ten. It isn't a comfortable feeling at all and it certainly shone new light for me on what everyday life can be like for others.

Cheery thoughts eh?

sugar...

2012-01-19T19:58:00.002+13:00

...a word that I've used as a substitute expletive for many years, and apparently a fairly appropriate one really (Margaret uses 'fudge', there's a theme emerging here!) given some of the thinking around it and it's effect on us. (see this link here if you haven't watched it already).

Yep, we're back to Marion's talk at Summer Gathering again. She was saying how she made a conscious effort to 'give up sugar' over a year ago after doing all the research. Now I'm not entirely sure whether she meant entirely (like Ruth who can't eat it for medical reasons) or 'as much as is feasable' ie not to the extent of quizzing the waiting staff in restaurants etc.

I've always thought myself to be a fairly low consumer of sugar, but over the last few days I've been making a conscious effort to notice how much is in things that I eat. This is probably easier for me than many people as I cook so much of my food from scratch due to other dietary restrictions - there isn't that much processed food in my diet.

Having made a batch of Marion's sugar free fruit and chocolate slice to deal with my daily 'fix' of cocoa I thought I'd see if I could manage even a day of being sugar-free.

Well breakfast started off ok, porridge with sultanas, LSA (ground linseed, sunflower & almond) and rice milk (due to being out of soy, however all good as the soy is sugar sweetened!). But the toast... well my one small dessertspoon of blackstrap molasses per loaf that lasts me about a week is a far cry from the 1/2tsp per slice of cheap shop bought fluffy stuff, so whilst it is there it's fairly minimal. Margarine ok, Marmite - none! Due to the fact that I only eat the real British stuff and none of the nasty sugar laden Kiwi imitation. We just won't go into the food miles ok? A mug of green tea plus 4 lots of medication - hmm, two of which are based on sugar pills! Overall though not too bad.

Lunch - salad, from our garden I might add, avocado (grown locally), ewes milk chese (not quite so local...) and ryvita (definitely not even remotely local - but I was finishing off the pack ok?). I skipped the mayo and shop salad dressing (around 25% sugar!!!!!) and went for some local olive oil instead. Followed by a couple of squares of chocolate slice, mmmm. Pretty good!

Tea - baked potato and cauliflower cheese - seemed pretty safe with sesame seeds, tomatoes from the garden and a brush of olive oil on top to round it off nicely. But as we've no mustard powder (crucial ingredient in a cheese sauce!) in the house I used the shop bought mixed up stuff - and there it lurked, sugar. (there is way more cheese in my diet than usual at the moment due to having bought some in Auckland, and a type doesn't keep very well). Ho hum, round it off with a handful of fruit and nut mix whilst I wait for the kettle to boil and wait a minute, the cranberries in the mix have added sugar...

Verdict - this could be trickier than I thought! Whilst it was tiny amounts here and there I can see how it could easily add up pretty fast - and that was with me being extra conscious of what I consumed. And whilst chocolate slice is a pretty good substitute for Whittakers occassionally I'm not convinced it is a long term solution. Mind you 72% Dark Ghana isn't bad for sugar consumption really in the greater scheme of chocolate options. I'll see how many days I can go before I give in to either the chocolate of GF licorice in my drawer...

But do I really need to cut out/down my sugar consumption? Well possibly, I'll be keeping an eye out over the coming weeks to see just how much it adds up to, just how high is my 'low' sugar intake after all when I'm not actively trying to avoid it?

It is going to mean a lot more careful reading of labels again - something I haven't really done in a while, not since I got to learn the Anna-friendly brands of things in this country. I guess it is yet another step in being more food conscious, along with where does it come from (food miles, boycotts etc), who made it (boycotts again, especially Nestle... after about 25 years I'm not slipping up now!), how was it grown. How was it made and what with (beyond being vegetarian, wheat and dairy free!) is just another part of the chain. I guess the trick is still to weigh your options and accept the fact that short of being self sufficient it is going to be impossible to tick all the boxes all the time. Eat it as long as thou canst perhaps?

There is a book on my shelf that I've had for years (literally, I was still living in the UK!) and never quite got round to reading - 'Foodwise' by Wendy E. Cook (was married to Peter Cook as in 'and Dudley Moore'). I think this could be the year to actually read it and see what she adds to the melting pot of ideas.

lunchtime

2012-01-15T11:51:00.005+13:00

(blogging 3 days in a row, I hope you are impressed!)

One of the sessions I went to at the recent Quaker Summer Gathering was Marion giving a talk on the latest thinking on nutrition, cardio-vascular disease and several other things. I didn't go the first time she gave it but heard so much about it over mealtimes that when she offered to run it again I went (she also did a 3rd rendition for the JYF and YF crowd which went well into the wee small hours apparently!).

Her talk covered many things most of which I won't insult by trying to regurgitate here having taken absolutely no notes at the time and am now finding that I'm totally unable to do justice at explaining. However one issue covered was lunches, and the value of making your own packed lunch rather than buying something at the canteen/shop - not on grounds of economy (which are equally valid!) but that then you know what has gone into it - how much sugar (sorry that is the bit I won't try to explain, however google Robert Lustig 'sugar the bitter truth' or watch this for more information!) and how much fibre.

Being a vegetarian who is wheat and dairy intollerant means buying a takeaway lunch limits me pretty much to sushi or a bag of chips. In anycase we have a healthy eating policy at work and as we eat with the children we are expected to model good practice so nipping down to the chippie isn't really an option! Also bought sushi has quite a lot of sugar in it and white rice doesn't have much, if any, fibre...

As anyone who has tried making sandwiches with wheatfree bread will testify it isn't a very satisfactory option so instead I take crackers. What kind has depended on whether at the time I'm feeling skint (rice crackers - the Japanese sort, not the 'ceiling tiles'), worried about food miles (corn thins - from Australia, slightly nearer to home) or over packaging (Ryvita - come in recyclable paperbased packaging but imported from the UK...). So basically whichever I choose I compromise on one principle or another.

Marion spoke of how when doing a locum stint in Australia where she 'had nothing better to do' she decided to count her calories to see how well her reasonably healthy diet compared to the recommended intake. She was pretty horrified to discover how quickly the calories clocked up! Her solution was lunches of brown rice and dahl which she made up in bulk and froze in portions. Someone commented wasn't that a bit tedious - not if you add things to the dahl each time you take one out, either leftover veggies in the fridge, additional spices etc. Having lived on a diet of pizza, beans and a kitkat for well over a year at school and a baked potato, coleslaw and hot chocolate at 6th form college I know that I can handle the same lunch on repeat so I'm not too worried! So with brown rice and dahl I'd get fibre, protein and other goodies mostly made up of 'good calories' ie ones the body can usefully use rather than empty calories like those in alcohol which the body ends up laying down as fatty deposits as it doesn't know what else to do with them.

So... rice. Well it sure isn't going to be grown here, although with current weather patterns some farmers may be seriously considering it! However I can get organic Australian brown rice so that is a start, not too far away. Packaging is ok if I get it from the bins at the health food shop who use biodegradable bags. So pretty good on that front. Apparently most white rice is neither good nor bad for you, it just passes through and doesn't even have much fibre left to help with that process - basmati has some goodness to it but brown rice on the whole is heaps better.

I figured I'd start off with brown rice (I have my first batch cooked and in portion sized tubs in the deep freeze ready and waiting) and leftovers and/or salads (it being summer) and see how I go. As the weather gets cooler I'll make batches of dahl too. It certainly seems a better option than imported crackers anyway. I'll let you know how it goes.

curtains

2012-01-14T20:00:00.003+13:00

I've spent a hefty chunk of the last couple of days making curtains. Between going back and forth to Empire Mart (something of an Aladdin's Cave) to get a sample length to pin up and see if it looked ok, enough to do my bedroom (2 windows) and then again today to get enough to do Phyllis' before they sell out plus measuring up, cutting out, stitching and sewing it soon adds up! I've still got Phyllis' room to do but we're getting a new curtain rail in there so I daren't cut anything until I'm sure exactly what we'll need!

It is amazing what a difference new curtains makes, especially when the previous ones were almost as old as me and looked older! It continues the transformation of this room from a rarely used spare room to 'my room' too. Gradually through some judicial reorganising and a little clearing out I've gained a couple more of the bookshelves for my stuff lately - I'm still a looooong way off having all my books here though. It has been interesting looking at the books on the shelves here a bit more closely as I move them around, it's amazing what gems turn up when you actually get to read the blurb on the back rather than just a faded spine. I've quite a few earmarked for this years reading list now.

The only down side to putting up new curtains is it makes everything else start to look shabbier... ah well, one step at a time. Curtains I can do, wallpapering I'd definitely need help with! Time to recruit some help methinks....

2011:2012

2012-01-12T21:21:00.002+13:00

Okay, okay, it's been a while - I'm sorry! Will try to do better this year, honest.

Anyways... in 2011 I set myself a challenge having fallen into the habit of mostly re-reading what I call 'comfort reads', those familiar well loved tales that still manage to move you after umpteen times yet have that reassuringness that comes with knowing the ultimate outcome. Sometimes we just need to know there is a happy ending.

So, my challenge to myself was to read at least 52 books in 2011. These were to be predominantly books that were new to me, to include several non-fiction books, genres that I don't normally read, literature classics - both modern and not so. So using the BBC Big Read books list as a springboard for what to look for in the library and on various friends shelves, I set forth into the year keeping track of what I read on a facebook 'note' which gave me the added incentive to stick to my goals as progress was public (not that anyone read it after the initial posting I'm sure!).

What is more, I succeded! Which probably has to be the first time I've ever seen a New Years' Resolution through to the end of the year! 58 books - admittedly including several childrens' books & the Asterix books I found on my new bedroom shelves but also including some rather weighty tomes. Historical fiction featured rather heavily I realise looking back which is hardly a new genre for me but the setting of many of them was - I've learned a lot of American history in the last 12 months! There are some really random entries on the list - usually what came to hand when I realised it was bedtime and I'd finished the previous book without lining up a successor...

So, 2012 is here and with it the same challenge - Sebastian Faulkes 'Birdsong' is on the 100 books list I was using to start with and is usually there in the library when I go but so far I've been avoiding it as I always seem to find it when I've just read another war book and really fancy something more lighthearted. However it is the first book on the list that I haven't read already (coming in at #13). The next at #20 is War and Peace, but that might just have to stay unread a bit longer I think! There are 36 books in the first 100 that I haven't read so plenty to keep me busy that is for sure. However with the latest Clan of the Cave Bear book to read and Sally Nicholl's new book All Fall Down due to arrive in March I'm not limiting myself to 2003 and before titles that is for sure.

So, for the record - here is what I read in 2011. * means I still haven't finished it, italics means it was a re-read.

Jan - March 2011

1. Always Coming Home - Ursula K Le Guin

2. *The New Natural Alternatives to HRT - Marilyn Glenville

3. A Demanding and Uncertain Adventure - Rosemary Morrow (Backhouse Lecture 2011)

4. Guards! Guards! - Terry Pratchett

5. Men at Arms - Terry Pratchett

6. Feet of Clay - Terry Pratchett

7. Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - Douglas Adams

8. Vox - Nicholson Baker

9. Lud-in-the-Mist - Hope Mirrlees

April - June 2011

10. Ivanhoe - Walter Scott

11. Dreams of My Father - Barak Obama

12. Quaker Origins, Worship & Identity: Reflections from Kenya - Donald B. Thomas

13. A Breath of Snow and Ashes - Diana Gabaldon

14. Far From the Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

15. Odd One Out - Monica McInerney

16. Best House in the School - Dorita Fairlie

17. The Lake of Tears - Emily Rodda

18. Anybody Out There? - Marian Keyes

19. Asterix in Britain - Goscinny & Uderzo

20. Asterix the Legionary - Goscinny & Uderzo

21. Asterix in Spain - Goscinny & Uderzo

22. The Mansions of the Gods - Goscinny & Uderzo

23. Kiwi Dragon - Bill Willmott (Quaker lecture 2009)

24. Atonement - Ian MacEwan (decided I had read this before after all!)

25. Changing the Prison System - Tony Taylor (Quaker lecture 2011)

26. The City of Rats - Emily Rodda

27. Dragongirl - Todd McCaffery

28. Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade - Diana Gabaldon

29. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas - John Boyne

30. Unseen Academicals - Terry Pratchett

31. Whitehorn Woods - Maeve Binchy

July - September 2011

32. Ancestors of Avalon - Marion Zimmer Bradley & Diana L Paxson

33. Anansi Boys - Neil Gaiman

34. The Sacrifice Stone - Elizabeth Harris

35. * A Testament of Devotion - Thomas R. Kelly

36. Tilly Trotter - Catherine Cookson

37. The Village Cricket Match - A.G. MacDonell

38. Magic by the Lake - Edward Eager

39. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

40. Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell

October - December 2011

41. For One More Day - Mitch Albom

42. The Quilter's Kitchen - Jennifer Chaverini

43. Thanks For the Memories - Cecelia Ahern

44. Full Circle - Jill Sumner

45. Dragonheart - Todd McCaffrey

46. Lord John and the Hand of Devils - Diana Gabaldon

47. Cats in May - Doreen Tovey

48. The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám - translated by Edward Fitzgerald

49. Kiwi Moon - Gavin Bishop

50. Spells - Emily Gravett

51. The Travelling Restaurant - Barbara Else

52. Me and Gus - F. Anthony & F. Jackson

53. Dragon's Kin - Anne McCaffery & Todd McCaffery

54. Dragon's Fire - Anne McCaffery & Todd McCaffery

55. Madame Bouvary - Gustave Flaubert

56. The Day of the Storm - Rosamunde Pilcher

57. Another View - Rosamunde Pilcher

58. Sleeping Tiger - Rosamunde Pilcher

the cost of ethics

2011-09-30T21:28:00.002+13:00

A couple of weeks ago our town centre supermarket closed down. They have built a much larger store, complete with petrol station, a mile or so out of town on the opposite side of town from where I live (which given the small size of Kaitaia doesn't actually add that much distance really!).

Where PaknSave used to be was on my way home from work, I walked past it most days and would pop in for a few things at a time. I don't do the main grocery shopping so seldom need to buy much at once in any case but I also have to walk home with it, I have never gone to buy more than I can carry on a regular basis no matter where I've lived.

Whilst in theory the new supermarket is within walking distance it's not a very practical option for me, certainly not worth the effort involved for half a dozen items as it would require a special trip - I've no other reason to be out that way.

There is a shopper bus service that has been set up twice a week but it doesn't fit in with my work hours. So where does that leave me?

Well many of the things I bought there I can find in other shops in town - at a higher price but some I can't so I'll need to go there occassionally, albeit in someone's car, which therefore means I could buy more at once but bang would go my carefully worked out budgeting strategy...

So.... do I vote with my feet and purse and buy what I can in town each week as before, paying the higher price financially yet supporting those traders who are in the town centre serving those of us who don't have a car? Or do I figure out a weekly or so system for getting out of town, paying less but buying into the car orientated culture that has caused the shift in the first place (parking at the old store was a major problem).

Fortunately my finances can probably cope with a few extra dollars a week to buy most things in town but for many others in town who have walked to PaknSave to do their shopping - including pensioners in the nearby flats - the chances are it starts to create some hard choices over where the money goes, on bills or food?

Will the shift out of town mean people are less likely to shop in the other town centre shops now? Will businesses suffer or benefit? Usually the trend is for them to suffer, another reason to shop locally for me. We have enough empty shop units on the high street as it is, not to mention high unemployment.

Ah well, more incentives to get to the market early on a Saturday before all the veggies have gone and to get some more planted in the garden!

stuff and nonsense

2011-08-26T20:53:00.003+12:00

I was reading Kate's blog post the other day about the deliberations of what to do with 'stuff' as you transition from one life to another and it reminded me of various moves in life but particularly as I packed up my life in Scotland and headed down under.

I too was putting stuff in storage, unsure as to when/whether I'd need it again and indeed how long I'd be gone for. I'm a few steps ahead of Kate now having got to the point of shifting all my stuff out of UK storage and shipping it firstly to a storage unit in Auckland and then to various rooms and the shed of the house I lived in for 4 years. However it is transition time again. Yet again the various boxes of possessions are being reassessed. In the interests of freeing up storage space, and indeed the spare bedroom, of a house I no longer live in I'm gradually moving my stuff a few bags and the occassional car load at a time to another house. However this house is full of yet more stuff! So I can only move my stuff in as we declutter the rest of the house to make room for it...

So decluttering and decisions of what to keep/store/take have been very much a part of my life again recently. Previous clear-outs have been bolstered by referring repeatedly to Karen Kingston's book 'Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui'. Regardless of your views on feng shui and its effectiveness I thoroughly recommend reading it if you are needing help clearing stuff out. She goes through all the arguements for keeping stuff and takes them apart piece by piece in a way that helps you let go gracefully of things and let them live a new meaningful life through whichever means of recycling you choose - regifting, donating to charity, recycling, composting etc. but also accepting that some things simply are rubbish and need to go...

This time I don't have a copy to hand, having leant mine out yet again (about my 4th or 5th copy as I keep donating it too!) so I'm having to rely on memory and the website for those tricky 'but I've kept it all these years, stored it and shipped it half way around the world - I can't throw it out now...' moments. Clearing out other people's stuff is sooo much easier as there just isn't that same level of sentimentality attached to things - is it useful? is it beautiful? do I/we/you need it? are criteria enough, especially now we've found that the museum will happily take things off our hands that fall into the 'but that's history, you can't throw that out!' category (which led to much rejoicing all round).

But there are still things, like my assorted good quality kitchen items that I've collected over the years, that fall into that no mans land of not being needed right now, but really are beyond my ability to replace with equivalent items should I find myself needing them again. Given the lack of permanence in my life that could be anything from a few months to a few years away - so back in the box they go, for now.

In general I've got used to living with owning less than most my age do, mainly from having lived in places full of stuff belonging to others for the last 6yrs. It is much easier to live simply with few possessions when someone else provides the white goods, the bed, the sofa etc etc etc! But one thing I have come to realise over a lot longer period of time is that when I've needed things they have usually turned up, as gifts, helping clear a house, as loans, as offers of places to live. So with that lesson behind me it is much easier to let go of stuff that would do far better being used by someone else than stuck in a box and/or being a millstone around my neck that makes being able to go where the spirit blows me next totally impractical.

So, I'll keep plodding through those boxes and cupboards of my stuff and see what still really does need kept and what I can finally accept is a nonsense to continue hanging on to. But I know it won't be easy, any more than it is for the space to be made for what is left over to migrate into.

a proud proxy parent

2011-08-25T21:12:00.003+12:00

I've been thinking for some time now that one of the unexpected spin offs of years of Quaker youthwork is the number of 'proud proxy-parent moments' that come along year after year. In many cases it is long after the YPs (young people - UK) or JYFs (Junior Young Friends - ANZ) have ceased to be teenagers. This week has been particularly exceptional.

On many occasions Facebook has been means by which I've heard of these events - be they climbing Kilimanjaro, running half/marathons or whatever and organising events to raise money for charity (often Cystic Fibrosis - the 'Anders effect' in action yet again!), standing up for those with little or no voice in society, amazing athletic achievements, voluntary work overseas, working in far flung places, making their way up the academia ladder, publishing books, writing and recording music... The list goes on and on and on.

Also I see them going back and being staff at the very events where I first met them, keeping the torch burning, inspiring further generations to 'be patterns, be examples' and walk/climb/swim/cycle/etc cheerfully over the world. I see them also going back to be speakers, I see them taking responsibilities within the Quaker world as well as the 'real world' out there.

It reminds me of the people who inspired me as a Quaker teenager, who made me want to be like them and come back as a 'stu hel', link group leader or staff - some of whom I still manage to connect with, again mostly through Facebook, and I really value having that connection still there. Which is why when I get a 'Facebook friend request' from any of the YPs from over the years I almost always accept. It certainly adds variety to my newsfeed it has to be said given their age range is mid teens to mid 30s!

But more importantly it reminds me that I am part of a continuum; that I've provided some of those 'proud proxy-parent moments' for others who did a pretty good job of training me up as a Quaker teenager/Young Friend and that whilst I am now old enough to be the real parent of any teens I work with, actually age doesn't really come into it - I still feel like a proud mum whether they are 35 or 15, and what's more I'll probably still be collecting Quaker 'children' for a good number of years to come.

the importance of being Colin

2011-07-31T09:50:00.003+12:00

as opposed to Ernest, the Great Uncle I hardly knew.

Colin was Dad's second cousin, Colin's grandma Jessie Farr was sister to my great grandma Kate Farr, who married John Dunford after they'd both emigrated to Christchurch from their homes in Solihul and Somerset. Sadly Durham St Methodist Church where they were married was one of the victims of the Christchurch earthquake, it just about withstood September 2010's big shake but February 2011 tumbled all but the West End doorway to the ground.

I first met Colin when I was aged about 12 when he and his wife Joan visited the UK making connections with the family members his parents had visited when they came over in the 1950s. So when I came over to New Zealand, first to visit and then to live, it was really special to me to be able to reconnect with Colin. I have quite a number of relatives here, but Colin was the only one who had known me as a child, albeit briefly. It was Colin who took me and his older sister Joyce around various family members scattered across the Canterbury Plains helping me fill in the gaps of our family tree and introducing me to the wider Farr family decendents.

Each time I've been down to Christchurch with time to spare I've caught up with Colin and Joyce, they have come to fill the gap in my life where my great aunts and uncles were - not that I ever met any of them that often and it's probably at least 15yrs since the last of them died. Colin and Joyce I've got to know well, with all the advantages of being able to get to know them as an adult.

I spent the majority of the last term break travelling around the 'Mainland' (aka the South Island) visiting F/friends and family - which of course included Joyce and Colin whilst in Christchurch for a couple of days. We had most of an afternoon and into the evening together, the longest length of time since my first visit to them 7yrs ago. Last time I'd seen Colin in late September he'd been tired, was awaiting catarract operations and had other health issues, not long after he'd gone to the Dr and was whisked into respite care which developed into him getting a self contained flat at the rest home complex. This time he was much more cheerful, the catarract operations had been successful and he was driving again. He was reading his father's diary about their trip to Europe in the '50s and was just getting up to the part where they had visited my grandparents and family in Somerset.

As ever it was lovely to catch up, hear about family members I'd met on my travels, and those I've still only heard about, to hear stories of years gone by, of Colin and Joyce's own international travels and their wistful wishes to see those places and people again.

Sadly for Colin at least that was not to be, just 10 days after I saw him Colin passed away, on the day I got back home from my own travels. With the last day of the school holidays getting back down to Christchurch and home again in time for the new term starting wasn't possible as flights were full. It would have been special for me, and my family back home, to be able to be there to say goodbye to Colin. It would have been a fantastic chance to catch up with so many of those we'd been talking about just days before. But if it had had to be one or the other I am so grateful for those hours we had together and that my last memories of Colin are the happy smiling face, albeit accompanied by a wheezy chest, rather than the worried one feeling every one of his 87 years from the year before.

It is going to be strange next time I go south, I'm going miss Colin.

comings and goings

2011-06-22T14:30:00.005+12:00

Well I'm off sick with a tummy bug for the second time in two weeks, well I think it is a tummy bug, it could however be drug side effects hence being booked in to see my GP again next Monday. On the plus side these new drugs don't make me drowsy, I hadn't realised just how big an effect the others were having in that respect until I stopped taking them!

The plus side of being off sick (not that I've actually been sick etc today, just not allowed to go back until tomorrow due to our 'do not return within 24hrs' policy for both staff and kids) is that I've been able to get two loads of washing out on the line - given how much rain we've had lately this is definitely a bonus! I've also done some more of my Ara Reo homework, however having missed class last night it was hardly a case of catching up... a tutorial on Friday should hopefully fill in the gaps. 2nd year is definitely harder than 1st year, but I guess that figures.

Over the last few weeks I've continued to plod along building up my Civil Defence Emergency kit - I scrounged a camping stove off William a few weeks ago when I realised we had nothing to cook on in the event of a power cut (and we'd just had 3 in the previous 48hrs! Thankfully none of them over a meal time). Of course we've had no power cuts since but that stands to reason dunnit. There seems to be a huge drive at the moment to try to get Kiwis more prepared - Countdown have a series of awareness adverts on the tv looking at what to put in your kits (obviously pointing out the things they sell along the way!) and The Warehouse have a stand now labled 'Emergency Kits' with torches, camping stoves, buckets etc on it. I'm not quite at the point of wanting to spend $50 on a 5 gallon bucket complete with a toilet seat and lid though it has to be said ($10 for a lidded nappy bucket is probably a more likely option!) although given friends of mine in Christchurch are still using a portapotty which they empty into a tank down the street after 9 months maybe that loo seat would be worth it. Tummy bugs do focus your attention on issues around being able to go to the loo.

Speaking of Christchurch, I'm off there in a few weeks en route to Hokitika to see Ryan and Sean in the term break (well and the rest of the family obviously but I promised Ryan & Sean I'd visit them, hence the trip). Te Koru roopu iti at kindergarten are rather concerned about this fact and keep telling me that they are worried about me going, just as well kindergarten has a blog site so I can update it to let them know I've safely arrived at 'Sean's house' (Sean was at our kindergarten before they moved) - ash clouds, tornados, earthquakes and any other natural disasters permitting of course!

But there are a few more weeks of term to get through first and who knows what they'll bring.

there's life Jim, but not as we know it...

2011-05-29T15:15:00.000+12:00

Well part of the reason for me coming to live in town a few weeks ago was to see if my energy levels were improved by being within walking distance to/from work. A potential side effect of this as it were was the possibility of extending (ok, getting) a life beyond work and the computer (even if that is mainly both social and Quaker committee work!)

However current medication means that whilst I can indeed move a lot more easily than I could a month or so ago with next to no joint pain I'm only awake/functioning for roughly 12hrs out of 24.

So I'm living with someone more than twice my age who is up before me (not difficult I realise even when I'm in the best of health!), goes to bed after me, has a social calendar that would leave me in a heap in the corner and I'm the one taking all the medication in the house. There is something decidedly wrong with this picture. At least I can read the small print and best before dates, change lightbulbs and tell when the dishes are properly clean, so I don't feel totally inadequate around here!

Next step, try to get the medication regime changed so I can move AND be awake something closer to normal adult hours - surely that isn't asking too much, is it?

taking stock

2011-03-06T13:12:00.002+13:00

Well it has been an eventful few months, 2011 is looking like it is going to give 2010 a run for it's money in the 'interesting times' stakes that is for sure. The idea of having some time where nothing much happened and life just ticked over with no major news, disaster, illness or other upheaval to deal with has a huge appeal! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for some serious down time during the Easter holidays but I'll not bother holding my breath... It has been a time to take stock of life in many ways - and the recent earthquake in Christchurch (and now Japan too) has added a flurry of activity on the practical taking stock front too. How well prepared am I for a major emergency? In the event of having to make a full scale insurance claim rather than just one or two items do I actually know what I've got?

The internet and mobile phone network proved valuable allies over the days after the earthquake as friends and family used text, emails and facebook to pass the word around as to who had been accounted for and the state of them and their houses. It struck me just how used we have become to being able to get instant answers, in some ways it saves a lot of waiting and worrying, but on the other hand when three days (yep, just 3 days) down the line I still hadn't heard from someone I was starting to get really quite worried - thankfully they are all ok, in fact amongst the least affected - they'd just been too busy helping others to think that folk might be worrying about them! How well would my communication technology stand up to being left without a reliable power supply? Not very, I suspect... note to self, research solar powered phone charger options.

Several friends of mine in far more earthquake prone parts of the country started discussing setting up an emergency kit - I couldn't believe they didn't have one already! One of the first things on mine and Marion's 'to do' list when I became Resident Friend was massively upgrade the decidedly sparse and Anna-unfriendly (meatballs and cheesey pasta?!) earthquake kit at the Meeting House. Since moving north I hadn't given it as much thought as we're far safer here, tropical cyclones and tsunami aside, but recent events did mean that I did some rearranging so that anything I might need of my own was all together in the one place and not scattered throughout boxes and cupboards. Plus I finally got around to buying some more batteries for my old kitchen radio and got back into the habit of carrying my pocket one in my bag, something that had lapsed since I'd lost the option of Radio 2 or TMS on the way home from work!

But on a slightly more intangible front - where am I in life? What are my options? My need to be able to get to/from work under my own steam in my own time without knocking me for six has led to rethinking where I live. The amount of Quaker committee work currently seems to excede my energy for it but that is related to the previous issue. Reaching a physical change in life stage brings it's problems but also raises some inevitable questions that most of life's landmarks do.

So a lot of thinking, mulling over and waiting for the universe to reveal it's plans seems to be on the cards... along with making a few lists!

2 degrees of separation

2010-11-27T19:59:00.002+13:00

is what is reckonned to be the case in Aotearoa NZ rather than the worldwide 6 degrees. So much so that one of our local mobile phone networks is called 2 degrees.

I've never had much difficulty accepting this as a concept, after all Quakers have the effect of shrinking the world's networks from what I can work out. But in the last week or so in the light of the Pike Valley mining disaster it has been brought home more strongly.

29 miners died in the explosions. None of whom I expected to have any connection to.... after all Greytown is down on the West Coast of the South Island - somewhere I had been in April, but not somewhere where I know anyone. But as the news of the explosions unfolded I discovered that the husband of a friend of mine headed over as part of the rescue team (I'd even stayed with Ingrid and Martin en route to Greymouth!). Once the second, and definitely fatal explosion happened my cousin George put as his facebook status that he'd sat next to the sister of one of the miners on the plane as she flew over from Australia, then in the hope still of rescue. Next thing I knew Natalie posted this link about quilts for the miners families on my facebook page - being a fellow quilter she rightly thought I'd be interested in contributing. Her comment along with the link was that one of the miners was her Nan's (who I've met several times) brother's nephew.

So, so much for my 'don't start anything new until the last project is finished' theory... although I did finish a project this morning first. I've a stack of 29 hearts waiting now for me to get some calico on Monday, then I'll get the squares finished and off to Rangiora ~ where incidently several relatives of mine live/grew up and where one of them, now passed on, used to be Mayor.

It's a very small world around here.

progress...

2010-11-21T08:16:00.004+13:00

Hmmmm, still plodding along with that quilt! Not helped by the fact that other projects have usurped it's place on the priority list....

Anyways.

Kua mutunga ahau te tau tuatahi o Ara Reo! I have completed my first year of Ara Reo! Our last class was on Wednesday. In some ways it will be a relief not to have a rather rushed Wednesday each week but I'll miss it too. Those of us who have been together on this journey since March have really become whanau ~ if we can get through all three years of Ara Reo together (you sign up for a year at a time, not all three at once) that would be tino pai - just the best!

I've got a post mulling around in my head about the similarities between a Noho Marae (Marae stay) and a Quaker residential weekend at a Meeting House - but I'll come back to that one....

I've been going through my Teacher Registration portfolio stuff again today. A few weeks ago I realised that with the changes in Registered Teacher Criteria coming in next year I really needed to get my written work signed off this year or I'd have to use the new format. Having got so far with the old, that thought did not appeal in the slightest! (this year was the transition year). It took me until a few weeks ago to finish writing up last year, yes you read that right - last year, and the first two (of four) sections. I don't know if it was partly to do with the dimensions I was covering or simply because it is damned hard work reflecting on a difficult situation but it took me an absolute age to get anywhere with it. I must admit most of the delay was procrastination - I simply didn't want to go there. But when it came to writing up this year and the final two sections I was amazed by how fast it all started to come together.

Partly this was because I had been collecting stuff throughout the year and some of it just needed filed in the appropriate place, but a lot was to do with the fact that I'd actually been able to put into practice what I'd been taught without feeling like I was trying to get water to run uphill. Also I've been to some amazing professional development this year or PD as it is known in the profession. This also happens to be the same acronym for Periodic Detention - community service done by offenders! You have to be careful to whom you tell you are 'doing PD this weekend'!

Well anyways by the end of today I will hopefully have two more pieces of reflective writing done and then I'll only be one Satisfactory Teaching Dimension away from completion (which bright spark came up with that one? Collect 32 STDs in under 3yrs!!! That's going some...). The fact that I am completely stumped by that final one will hopefully be overcome when I meet with Carol to discuss it all tomorrow. Then all I need to do is clock up a few more weeks teaching (note to self - do not get sick, do not get sick, do not get sick....) which will probably have to go into next year to make up the month I missed (thankfully being sick over Term Break doesn't count against me!).

So having almost completed the shopping side of Christmas presents (but not the sewing...) yesterday in Kerikeri - it really does feel like I might just get everything done that I need to before I head off to the UK for 5 weeks in a months time... fingers crossed and touch wood!

having a tutū

2010-11-20T20:35:00.002+13:00

please bear with me - I'm playing about with new layouts and options etc and don't seem to have managed to quite get the hang of it all yet!

And it all started 'cos I clicked on something I didn't mean to! Ho hum...

double blogging

2010-11-07T19:58:00.002+13:00

As if I wasn't having enough problems keeping this blog up to date I now have another one to contribute to too! Our kindergarten has a blogsite - it's not public yet, but the plan is for it to become so in the future. Watch this space for updates...

We started off early this year just getting used to using it, writing posts, uploading photos and video links (practicing with inserting the Wonky Donkey on a page before we tried putting any footage of the children up there!). Now after a recent workshop with our mentor Tanya Coutts of CORE Education we're ready to open up to parents... we've another meeting with the whanau group (families group) coming up where we'll explain it all to them and then the next step is having online folders for the individual children as well as having their physical kupenga pukapuka (lets just call them scrapbooks... ask me if you want a full explanation of the name which is a 'gathering net' book! It's quite poetical really but long-winded to explain)

It's all quite exciting really - and at least I get to blog at work!

time passing

2010-10-24T19:19:00.002+13:00

well I still haven't finished that quilt.... but I'm getting there!

It's been another time where it was difficult to know what to write - sadly my beautiful cat Sirius met with misadventure a few weeks ago and went to join Cammi buried at the bottom of the garden. It seemed a fitting place for her final resting place given how much she missed Cammi when we lost her. I still keep thinking I've seen her walking past out of the corner of my eye so I didn't think twice earlier today when I thought I saw a cat walking past in the corridoor. Then I did a doubled take - no I really had seen a cat walk past! It did a runner once it realised I'd seen it, but then I saw another moggy this evening out in the garden. Maybe it has become known in the cat world that this territory is up for grabs again?

The last few weeks have seen me trying to catch up on some things in life that had slipped due to being ill. My teacher registration portfolio for one... it's suddenly starting to fall into place and seems more achievable but I'm not convinced I'll have it all done by the end of this year. That is something of a pain as the new criteria come into play next year so I need to try to get as much done as I can on the system I started with.

It is also coming up for the end of my Ara Reo classes for the year - and I have a whole heap of homework to catch up on for that too... my kaiako (teacher) thinks I'm ready for Year 2 next year but having missed so much of this year from being sick/too run down to attend I'm not convinced. We'll see, classes don't start again until March so I've plenty time to think about it.

Next year... that feels such a long time away still! Yet it is only 8 weeks until I fly to the UK for my summer holidays. Yes you did read that right - people here think I must be mad to trade a summer here for a British winter. But it's not about the weather - as the whakatauki (proverb) here goes

He aha te mea nui o tēnei ao
Māku e kï atu
He tangata, he tangata, he tangata

But if you ask me what is the most important thing in the world
I will tell you
tis the people, tis the people, tis the people.

mission impossible?

2010-08-15T20:33:00.002+12:00

After several weeks (months?) of inactivity on the sewing front I've been making a concerted effort over the last month to catch up on what I have variously heard referred to as PHDs - Projects Half Done, UFOs - UnFinished Objects and work-in-progress.

I have finally finished a plaited rag rug that had been frustrating me for months. Eventually after unpicking it several times as it was turning into more of a bowl than a mat I gave up trying to follow the instructions I had and sewed it together my own way!

I've finished a patchwork-edged and appliqued blanket having discovered a cunning technique that got me over my fear of applique edges - cheers Natalie, if you'd not sent me the link to the bibdana pattern who knows when it would have got done!

I'm now making good progress with a quilt that I'd ground to a halt with at an early stage as the intended recipient sadly didn't live to see it, however I'm still making it for the family. It's taken me a while and a few rethinks as to what to do with it. I'm trying to decide whether to turn it from a cot sized quilt to a single bed or family sized one....

I've even cleared my mending pile!

But there in my cupboard, discovered when looking for something else (as you do!) is a project that I can't actually remember how long I've had waiting completion, other than it is at least 7yrs old as I know where I was living when I started it! The only reason I stopped work on it was my sewing machine died on me at the time. As it was a wedding present it got replaced with something else (I've now forgotten what!) and so once the machine was fixed any urgency had long gone and it went to the back of the queue.... time I bumped it up to the top again methinks as I'm hoping to see the (thankfully still happily married) couple in a few months!

However, whilst I work through this pile of projects I'm aware that there are more babies being born, birthdays slipping past and Christmas presents to be thought about and made! Will I ever catch up? Probably not....

awol

2010-08-13T14:18:00.002+12:00

My apologies for my extended absence from the blogosphere. I didn't stop reading other people's blogs but it just got a bit too difficult to write.

Basically it felt like too much was happening at once and so much of it was "other peoples' news" rather than my own it didn't feel quite right to be blogging about it as it unfolded, yet to write and not mention it seemed superficial given how much it was all preoccupying my mind.

So here I am several months down the line... what has changed? Well in some ways things have slowed down a little and breathing space has been had, time to cogitate and put things into a different perspective. Time, as they say, is a great healer. Not that everyone is healed either emotionally or physically in some cases, yet my ability to cope with it all has improved.

Since I last blogged various people very dear to me have had a lot dumped on their plate - losing a baby at 8mths pregnant, discovering a brain tumour (benign but not far off inoperable due to location) and another with a bowel tumour. Two are watching their mothers go through the final stages of advanced cancer and another watching far too many of his fellow sufferers of Cystic Fybrosis die before they get the transplants or advances in medical science they need. Added to that are marriage breakdowns, assorted medical diagnosis of a less life-threatening kind yet still life long impact and another got bad news from the oncologist this week.

Daffodil Day is coming round soon.... if only it were no longer needed.

It hasn't all been doom and gloom by a long way though - a fantastic holiday on the Mainland (the South Island) tiki touring around with an old friend from uni days (first time round, not recent studies!), and unexpected bonus trip to Sydney for the w/e and a chance to catch up with Natalie (uni 2nd time!) and her boys.

I've got a new job at my existing work place - a job share with an old colleague who I'd been sad to leave behind when I went to kindergarten. Great getting to work with her again =) However I managed to get sick for over 6 weeks and have only just started my new post and hours. I think I've just about got to grips with my new timetable though.

And... I'm planning a trip back to the UK for Christmas and Hogmanay (plus a bit!) to catch up with friends and family. A real bonus as I'd been expecting to have to wait until 2012 for that to happen again. Big thanks to those making it possible!

I'll try to be a bit better (ok, a lot better!) at blogging more regularly again now life is starting to settle into a new routine - but no promises eh?!

time management

2010-03-09T20:12:00.004+13:00

a wee while back Holly wrote a Note on facebook about the fact that many Quaker roles and responsibilities tend to fall on a few shoulders and maybe Meetings ought to spend some time discerning what work really needs to be done rather than just perpetuating them ad infinitum.

As I'm on our Yearly Meeting Nomination Committee it is an issue dear to my heart as we try to find people for committes that everyone seems to want to keep but no-one wants to be on! As someone who has four Quaker roles already and often gets asked to do others I am very glad that somewhere along the line I learned to say 'no' without feeling too guilty about it. Taking on too much and then burning out or not achieving what is necessary is a way too common a phenomena in Quakerdom.

Having cut back my working hours fairly recently I've gradually started to catch up with the various Quaker roles I've taken on and am realising why it all felt a bit much towards the end of last year. I spend over an hour a day dealing with assorted emails, paperwork and reading material circulated and I still don't get through it all within the wished for time frames. On top of that I still seem to wear my overseers hat on a regular basis even though I officially hung that one up a few years ago!

I have to admit that tasks that get done promptly aren't done so because of any deep and meaningful spiritual discernment process that prioritises importance but on a basis of what is quick and easy. Anything else takes it's chances in terms of allocated time and attention. That annoys me in itself but at least means that some things get done on time!

As Holly said "Where is room for testimonies of simplicity and integrity? What can we realistically commit to as a Society? If we could see where all Quaker committee, spiritual enrichment and volunteer/activist hours were going, would we like the picture it paints?"

At our MM residential recently it was acknowledged that we need to spend more of our time and money on looking after ourselves as a MM, doing the nurturing and spiritual enrichment we need to hold us together as a community rather than 4 geographically scattered worship groups. But it kept coming back to the inevitable question - who will organise it? at which point there was a deafening silence...

I've just been looking up the part in Britain Yearly Meeting's Advices and Queries that sprang to mind "28. Every stage of our lives offers fresh opportunities. Responding to divine guidance, try to discern the right time to undertake or relenquish responsibilities without undue pride or guilt. Attend to what love requires of you, which may not be great busyness"

Hmmmm....

Cammi

2010-02-21T21:19:00.002+13:00

Things have been a bit subdued around here lately. A few nights ago Cammi (our, well technically Simon's, long haired dachshund - something of a Hairy Von Krumm) decided to go off and play with the traffic. She lost.

She's been buried down at the bottom of the garden, by the creek. I still can't quite bring myself to go and see - it was all done before I'd got up that morning so at least for me my last memory of her is as she usually looked, not the mess she apparently was. I do need to go and say 'goodbye' properly though.

For a dog who used to infuriate me on a regular basis I miss her heaps - and usually when she's not there to fall over! I still check the floor outside the bathroom door when I come out of the shower to make sure I don't trip over her, I check the floor under my desk before I move my feet or wheel the chair over, I glance down before moving in the kitchen, I still tiptoe back into my room at night if I've been up so I don't start her off whining outside my window wanting to come in. I still expect the deck doors to rattle and bang when I come home as she tries to hurl herself through the glass to say hello.

We'll have to clean up food spilt on the floor, no longer need to guard any food left on the table, the compost heap might actually fill up a bit quicker now the 'best bits' of kitchen scraps won't get grazed off the top. There are even enough empty chairs to sit on in front of the tv and the rug might finally stay looking clean for more than half an hour after being hoovered (and no-one tries to attack the vacuum cleaner as you use it!). The strawberries, grapes and peas will be able to grow in peace, we could even try melons again. Oh and I'll have to think of something to do with cherimoyas next season...

Poor Sirius (my cat) is most discombobulated, her bowl is now on the laundry floor not up on the washing machine as no-one else will steal her food now. She keeps checking chairs to see if Cammi is there. She looks very suspiciously at the deck where the kennel used to be. They'd become such good friends, we'd often come home to find them together on the deck waiting by the doors even though Sirius could get in through my bedroom window. They'd chase each other around the garden as if possessed and roll about on the gravel driveway - when Sirius had had enough she'd climb up the nearest post in the vineyard leaving Cammi stuck on the ground below.

Trips to the beach will no longer be quite the same, we'll be able to get a towel out of the cupboard without her going crazy hoping we're off for a swim. The sand in cars quota will drop and there will be one less joining us for Meeting when it's here.

She was a small dog with a big presence and I'm only now really appreciating how big. Daft mutt. I loved her though.

right ordering

2010-01-31T18:38:00.003+13:00

It's report time around here, no not school reports but Quaker ones. Our Yearly Meeting produces a Documents in Advance book of reports as part of the lead up to our annual face to face Meeting for Worship for business in July (subsequently followed by White and Gold Papers). All committees, representatives and Monthly Meetings are expected to send a report in.

I've spent the last couple of days working on the Friends World Committee for Consultation one (I'm one of 2 YM reps on this) and chipping in on the content of our Monthly Meeting one.

I've come to the conclusion that what our YM needs to produce are some guidelines on how to write these! The 'problem' with Quakers organisationally is that we're not very good at telling people how to do things in advance, but there are plenty who will gently (or not so...) 'elder' you afterwards if you get it wrong! Some people don't like it if you tell them that what they have written is not in 'right ordering' (Quakerspeak for the right way to do it!) whereas others are grateful for the guidance.

I've found myself both in the guiding and being guided roles over the last couple of days - I'd followed someone else's previous report as a basis for my own but when I sent it to her for checking discovered that she had been eldered about that one and had amended mine accordingly! A couple of emails and a phonecall later and we both had something we were happy with, I felt too that by the end of this process we'd grown a lot closer than we have been in the past.

Getting our MM report into shape however is proving to be harder work! In fact getting our MM into shape is proving hard work in itself. There are times when being at least half the age of certain 'weighty Friends' and relatively new to the country and MM really does not count in my favour despite having been steeped in Quakerism and Quaker process for the best part of 30yrs! Whilst my original MM had a tendency to produce 'he said... then she said...' type Minutes in those early years of my involvement they did introduce me to a lot of the Quakerspeak language and due process.

It is sad when the quip about it needing a good few Quaker funerals to solve the issue gets trotted out but sadly it may prove to be true. Whilst I was in the end very glad to walk away from such intransigence and unwillingness to being open and learning from each other at work that isn't an option here. Thankfully there are others willing to speak up too even if it does take encouragement from me to do so. Hopefully we'll find more unity within our MM this year but it has to be said it hasn't exactly got off to the most promising of starts! However the dialogue is ongoing and that has to be a good thing even if it does feel about as productive as stiring treacle with a feather... definitely a testing of our faith and our community.

beginning again?

2010-01-26T20:08:00.003+13:00

Well so far I've had just over two weeks practice at being 40. In that time I've managed to graze my knee (getting dumped on a tuatua shell by a wave that I failed to bodysurf) and put a sewing machine needle through my finger. As someone who spent their early (and not so early) years keeping Elastoplast in business I'm coming to the conclusion that it isn't so much a case of life beginning again as a 2nd childhood! After all I am happy to report that I haven't filled my nappy or needed milk to get to sleep... give me another 40yrs however and that too may change!

I've been thinking quite a bit about how life was supposedly going to change, especially since reading Melina's post about 30 things to do before 30 (which she wrote aged 29) and thinking I ought to come up with 40 to do before 40 (about 18mths ago... ). Great idea but as I never kept a list I've no idea how many I came up with in the end, let alone achieved! But what it did do was change my attitude to doing a lot of things. I realised that in many ways I still went through life assuming I couldn't do things rather than just having a go.

Partly this is a result of being decidedly hampered in my early-mid twenties with a combination of a post-viral condition and psoriaic arthritis which left me with fluctuating energy levels and limited mobility/dexterity so at the age where most people were stretching their limits mine were being shrunk. Partly it is a result of me taking on board childhood warnings about things being 'dangerous' (eg power tools!) and never quite letting go of the subsequent fear that was a bit too firmly entrenched. Partly it has been a case of lack of opportunity/encouragement or there simply being someone else around who just did it for me and/or reinforced those childhood reservations rather than encouraging me to get my head around the fact that by now I was probably way older than the adults who had told me to be careful and keep my fingers back! And the rest, well no excuse other than general laziness or a/patheticness!

So, admittedly with a degree of trepidation, I've been using the power drill to put in/take out screws at work and using the hot glue gun (if a 3yr old can do it so can I surely?). I've only refused to swim in the sea on the grounds of temperature (or rather lack of it) rather than the size of the waves (altho' I still prefer it when there isn't much surf). I got up to do pilates before breakfast all but one morning at Summer Gathering (and could not only touch my toes but the floor by the end of the week). I've learned to cook what had been 'scary' things like jams and pickles and I got to grips with the overlocker at work! I've read books that have hitherto been on the 'too hard shelf' either because of their perceived 'weightiness' or past bad experiences (A Level English has a lot to answer for). And plenty other things too - like making clothes with zips!

None of these 'achivements' have been of an earthshattering nature nor, in isolation, life changing. But taken all together it has changed my life... I've also reached the point where the realisation has hit me that if I don't do it now I probably never will, so what the heck go for it - albeit tempered with the wisdom of experience! I guess no-one could really accuse me of not living adventurously on some levels (such as jacking in my job/flat/partner and going travelling, upping sticks and moving half way around the world, going back to uni etc etc!) but I feel I've still a long way to go, especially at the smaller end of the scale.

So on a physical level I'm planning to walk up a glacier and go tramping in Fiordland at Easter (altho I did baulk at the idea of a 4-5hr sea kayak on Milford Sound - we'll be getting the boat!). On an intellectual level I'm starting Ara Reo (Maori language & culture lessons) this term and I will get my teacher registration portfolio up to date.... On an emotional one I am determind to get over my (now) irrational fear of various power tools. Also having wussed out of making a decision on which laptop to get last year (thanks D, you're an angel!) I'm going to grit my teeth and chose a digital camera - I am really, honest (oh how I hate making that kind of decision!). No doubt I'll add to the list as the weeks roll by.

I can do it, really I can....

the noughties

2009-12-18T19:13:00.005+13:00

Two households, both alike in dignity (if not cleanliness),
In fair Newcastle, where we lay our scene...

Well there endeth any similarities between Shakespear's epic and life between our Croydon Rd flat and the "Halibuts' House", although it did bear a distinct likeness to a soap opera at times. With Vonn and I going out with two of their inhabitants we spent a lot of our time picking our way across their pizza infused carpet...

The joys of facebook has seen a reuniting of these two households and various others associated with them both, on a virtual level at least and occassionally in real life too. For the lads most of the long hair has gone and they have obviously learned to feed themselves a bit better too (or found others willing to cook/can afford a better class of takeaway!), but you know what - us girls, we seem to look much the same ;) (Halibuts 0, Croydon Rd 4!)

The "Halibuts" were so named because of a 'band' they had called 'For Halibut Fans Only' and to be honest you really had to be a fan of the people in it to listen... you could describe it as 'tongue in cheek' but really one had to question how many and which cheeks at times.... they were the Spinal Tap/Monster Raving Loony Party entry in the annual Students Union Busking Competitions and took great pride in being booed off stage with glasses (plastic of course...) being hurled at them. Despite this, hidden (deeply) away amongst them, was some real musical talent.

In many ways it really doesn't feel like all those years have slipped by at all, especially reliving moments through photos shared online and the banter that goes on via facebook chat, but a recent song of Andy's made me realise just how much life has changed in the last decade, let alone since we graduated in the early 90's. He hasn't lost his cleverness with lyrics, and although it's called 'I got kicked in the noughties' I can assure you it is (unlike various FHFO tracks) suitable for family viewing =)

(for some reason I can't get it to embed the link in the text or whatever it's called so you might have to copy n paste!)

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=107236&songID=8466989

counting down....

2009-12-16T19:10:00.003+13:00

Well for many people I know currently it is the season to be counting down the days by chocolate until Dec 25th (or 24th depending on your calendar!). For me I'm counting down to many things, but oddly enough Christmas doesn't really figure that much on the list, sure it'll happen around here but not due to me!

First count down... to the end of the week and the summer break starting!
Then to the various arrivals expected here over the next week including Audra from Edinburgh
To Boxing Day cricket at the farm along with good food/drink/company...
To the annual Quaker Summer Gathering
To my 40th (yes, fortieth...) birthday
Hopefully to Jane & Paddy coming to see me whilst they're over from the UK! (let me know won't you!)
To William & Elizabeth coming back from China
Hey ho, and to the start of term
And more excitedly to the start of my new job at my 'old' (as in 2008) kindergarten!

In between I'm also hoping to see a few other people on my/their travels but with no dates as yet confirmed....

And it doesn't stop there!!!! Usually being able to 'plan' a month in advance seems excessively organised but due to Annette and Douglas both heading this way from the UK I've even got holiday plans in my diary for February and April. What's more with switching to kindergarten come the new school year I'll have those wonderful inventions called school holidays - even more dates in my diary... well they would be if I'd got round to writing them in. Then there's our MM Regional Gathering at Aroha Island in March and I know I can got to Yearly Meeting in Dunedin without having to fly the whole way. I'll have plenty of time this year (July school hols) so there beckons a road/rail trip and of course a stop over in Wellington is a must really then isn't it?!

Now I just have to hope for enough relieving hours at work to help pay for it all...

On the not so exciting count down list are the end of year MM accounts, charities commision (or whatever it's called here!!! Must check....) report and tax return receipts to do. Oh the joys of being a treasurer.

Ah yes, and that ol' guilt tripper of a teacher registration portfolio needs put into some sort of order over the summer too. Hmmmmm... I guess you have to take the rough with the smooth!

One thing is for sure, I'm not going to be short of things to do.

Note to self - remember that going part time was (amongst other reasons) to help improve health/energy levels, do NOT over do things!!!

November

2009-11-02T20:28:00.002+13:00

Apparently, according to Lucy, it is National blog posting month... I'm assuming this is in the UK. I, however, am not in the UK so have every excuse not to post daily for the duration of this month ;) November also happens to be Movember... sigh, roll on December!

November also happens to start with my Granny Dunford's birthday. As my cousin Robin reminded us via facebook she would've been 100 this year. It seems a little hard to get my head around the fact that various uncles and aunts are now as old as my earliest memories of Granny, in fact if I sat down and did my sums properly I'd probably figure out that Dad is too... but for his sake as well as mine I won't dwell on that thought too long!

I still miss my Granny even though it is over 18yrs since she died. Each time I sew anything I think of her. Each time I bake anything without a recipe I think of her. (Admittedly though it is usually muffins or drop scones/scotch pancakes/pikelets/whatever you call them rather than a Victoria Sponge cake which probably requires far less skill!). And on the rare occassions when I smell bacon being cooked in the morning I am instantly transported back to waking up at The Pitching with the brook tinkling away outside the bedroom window, the church bells ringing and Kath coming round calling out 'coooeee' as she reached the door...

Thanks Robin for sharing some photos I'd not seen before (or at least don't remember!) and triggering off a whole heap more memories. It's also nice to be reminded again just how special she was to my cousins too, I must do my bit and scan in the few photos I have of her to upload too. It's a lovely way to share our memories of her as well as the pictures.

Happy hundreth Granny.

residency

2009-10-20T20:13:00.002+13:00

well at long last I have recieved confirmation that my application for residency has been approved! This doesn't mean I've actually got it yet, I'm still waiting for the letter, to send my passport off (along with yet more dosh) and get it back with the appropriate bit of paper stuck in it.

Now all I have to do is wait another 5 yrs and I can apply for Citizenship! What's the difference between being a permanent resident and a citizen? Well according to NZ Insider it is this...

Legal Permanent Residents of New Zealand (with valid Permanent Resident Visas/Permits) have the same rights and privileges as NZ citizens with the following notable exceptions:

a) They can not travel on a NZ passport (citizenship is required for a NZ passport).
b) They can not run for Parliament.
c) They can not represent NZ in international sports events (such as the Olympics).

As I've always intended to leave standing for Parliament to the likes of Mark and Alex, and Miss Stass long ago relagated me to the ranks of the no hoper 'jongos' when it came to P.E. that leaves the lure of a passport. Far from essential I admit but who knows what life will bring and why it might prove useful.

But in the meantime I can now look forward to being able to qualify for KiwiSaver (national pension scheme), being able to get a credit card with Kiwi Bank (as psis who I bank with here don't do one and I have had no desire to prop up the Australian banking community who control just about all the rest of the banks here), having a vote for the first time in 4yrs and hopefully an end to the suggestions of marrying a Kiwi to be able to stay here beyond my current visa! Oh and being able to officially be charged local rates at the Drs surgery rather than that being dependant upon the kindness of my GPs heart and his ability to sweet talk the practice manager...

does anyone recognise this song?

2009-09-10T20:36:00.000+12:00

Back around Easter 1989 I was given a compilation tape (remember those?). The sound quality was a bit dodgy but having seen the state of the ghetto blaster it was recorded on it wasn't that bad really! And what's more the track listing was (and still is!) fantastic and led to me spending years collecting the various tracks on cd so I could recreate the well worn and much loved compilation in a more durable format.

However I remained completely stuck on one track. Partly because Gavin didn't know what it was called or who recorded it! He told me at the time he'd got it on a compliation from Jack Kelly and he called it 'The Leaving Song' which was apparently about as much info as Jack had provided.

Over the years I've played to to various people but to no avail. The vocal sound is a bit Nick Drake-ish, with acoustic guitar and a saxaphone solo. Google hasn't come up with anything when I've put the lyrics in (shame on you Pete!).

So, 20yrs on I'm back to picking people's memories and hoping someone recognises the lyrics - I'm afraid my limited grasp of technology doesn't enable me to somehow copy the crackly tape into a digital format to play on here...

‘The Leaving Song’

You pull (put?) a face as the train pulls away.
My heart’s running on
But my feet seem to stay.
Night’s closing in
I don’t want to sleep.
My heart’s running on
And my love’s running deep.

And there’s nothing to see
And I’m turning away.
But the train’s still in view
So I’m turning to stay.
Forcing a smile in that lonely place
I’m guessing because I left my cigarettes in your case.

Blood’s running thick
My blood’s running free
But no-one gives a damn because
There’s no-one to see.
I’m hurting inside
And I’m hurting the world.
My temper’s quick
I feel so sick
Because I’ve lost the pearl
My fingers curled around

It’s stupid because
I know my anger’s wrong.
It’s stupid because
I know you won’t be long.
But still I miss you
More than everything else.
I suppose more than anything
I am angry with myself.

(sax solo then repeat last two ‘verses’)

change?

2009-08-10T12:36:00.005+12:00

yes I know, it's been a while... again! Well what with being sick (again/still) and away, having too much to write about and not enough time and then plenty of time and not enough energy, somehow blogging took second place to snappy little facebook status updates which are much more manageable! Because so many people are on facebook these days I forget that there are those who don't get to see those updates and that I have to fill them in by other means, sorry Mum & Dad....

Anyways where was I away to? Well Wellington for (Quaker) Yearly Meeting and some catching up with F/friends for a few days. How did it go? Well nothing like as momentous as Britain YM which managed to hit the headlines a short while later that is for sure, in fact reflecting on our YM in the light of BYM I felt that we had a long way to go.... the big issue of the day for us wasn't same sex marriages but climate change. In one of the reports from Britain YM someone referred to the recent decision being the culmination of 22 years of work, discussion and seeking spiritual guidance. Quaker decision making has never been noted for it's speed (it took 100 years to make their minds up about abolishing slavery!) but as some people are getting increasingly frantic about explaining, we simply don't have 100 years to sort this one out, and probably not even twenty two. Now I'm no expert by any stretch of the imagination and I know that there is also talk about the amount of sunspot activity that is affecting climate change in a big way, but regardless of that, we can't ignore that as a species we aren't looking after Papatuanuku, Mother Earth and it is all going to get a lot worse, for whatever reason.

What can we do corporately as Friends? Well a rather tame letter was sent to our PM pointing out the carbon footprint of war and preparing for war (military exercises) and the need to engage fully in the Copenhagen talks. Some headway was made about the right use of money and the fact that true socially responsible investment may mean low/zero returns for us rather than supporting unethical practices and that this goes beyond boycotting the usual suspects of tobacco and the arms trades and looking hard at the environmental impact of Fonterra and the like. Some Friends have expressed a wish to set targets for reducing power consumption within the MM by 15% but that is aimed at those MMs with property, others have suggested cutting travel and the need for it - combining Summer Gathering and YM (more likley to work consecutively than combined methinks) or holding YM every 2 years or through regional video links rather than entirely face to to face.

But what can I do? Well the biggest part of my life that is unsustainable is my work environment, sure we have recycling but the waste of water, paints and other resources is fairly horrific most days. But have I the energy to take it on board on top of everything else that needs addressed? Probably not, but I don't think I've got much choice really do I?

sick and tired

2009-06-22T14:14:00.002+12:00

Well I seem to spend more time feeling sick than not at the moment, what with a virus in my eustachian tubes (in my ears for the less anatomically minded!), a lengthy dose of bronchitis and now seasonal flu the last few months have felt like something of an uphill battle. "Why do you think you keep getting sick?" asked my boss when I rang in today to say that I wasn't sure going in tomorrow was a great idea.

Why indeed? I've not been this sick this often since I worked in residential care... and before that in day care... hmmm, maybe I spy a pattern here? Lots of people in a relatively small space all day, many of whom have health issues and/or are more vulnerable to whatever is going around. I spend a hefty chunk of my day wiping noses (and bottoms if it comes to that), cuddling snotty nosed kids and sitting in a warm confined space with them whilst they fall asleep. We teach them that it is good to share, but some things are best kept to yourself!

But what annoys me is the pressure that there is to go back to work as soon as you are vertical again. Especially when I read the Ministry of Health guidelines that state no matter what type of influenza you have, H1N1 or seasonal, you should be off for 7 days and/or until you have 24hrs free of symptoms. It would have made far more sense to take the week off and get properly better in the first place than struggle back to work after a couple of days and then end up off sick again by the end of the week. But I only get 5 days paid sick leave a year, which got used up when I had the virus, so now I'm eating into my not exactly extensive annual leave and am being made to feel guilty for being off sick. I now appreciate, in a way that I never really did when I had it, just how good the sick pay conditions are in the UK!!!

It felt decidedly wrong to be sitting in a staff meeting on Friday where we discussed extensive cleaning regimes to keep down the risk of infection and excluding children for x number of days who had been overseas when there I was coughing and sneezing! I was probably the biggest infection risk we had. Admittedly I would have already gone home had a lift been available sooner, but I had to ask if I could go I didn't get sent home!

Anyways, time I went and made another hot honey & lemon drink. At least the universe provides lemons, limes, grapefruit and oranges in season when I need them most and I live where they grow in the garden =)

exercise in disbelief

2009-05-21T20:37:00.003+12:00

I'm housesitting, well actually dog-sitting, tonight for F/friends in Ahipara. They've gone down to Auckland to meet F/friends off a plane from the States, the first installment of another Quaker family coming to live in the area. Northwest YM will soon account for about half our Meeting here in the Far North!

When I told some of my colleagues where I was staying tonight I was met with horrified looks...

'But how are you going to get there?'

'Walk' I replied, somewhat bemused.

'Do you want a lift? I can take you?' (offering to drive in completely the opposite direction from home up a dead end road)

'No it's alright thanks, I'll be fine. I'm used to walking'

'Have you ever walked up Tasman Heights before?' (sounding totally disbelieving that I'd even consider it)

'No, but I've been up it, I know what it's like. My parents lived at the top of a hill like that for 20 years, I'll be fine!'

'Are you sure? You're crazy!'

Well, I accept it is a slightly longer road than Cooper Lane but I'm pretty sure it's no steeper and in any case it has flat bits part way. What's more I got a stunning view of the sun setting over the ocean on the way up!

It never ceases to amaze me why walking or cycling anywhere is considered to be such a strange idea by so many of my colleagues, most of whom head straight for the gym after work to spend an hour on an exercise bike doing 'spin' workouts etc. Personally I think they are the crazy ones...

ups and downs

2009-05-21T19:05:00.003+12:00

oh dear, so much for more regular updates eh? Hmmm, now do I write blog posts like buses (nothing for ages then three come at once) or one long one? Well let's just see what happens...

The big thing that's happened for me since I last wrote I was my graduation! Unlike my degree in Newcastle-upon-Tyne where the graduation ceremony was only a few weeks after my last exam the graduation ceremonies here are months after completion. So whilst I finished my course at the end of November last year I only graduated on 6th May.

I'd been having a bit of a rough time at work for a few weeks and was beginning to question just how much I did know about what I was doing and how to reconcile what I was fairly sure I'd been taught with what I was expected to practice. I'm not good at debating things and as the new kid on the block and least experienced team member if things didn't feel right for some reason I wanted to go away and reflect on why it didn't and if possible talk it through with someone first before trying to go back and put my point across. I was also getting a bit fed up of being made to feel like I should've thought of something myself when I didn't even know it needed done or that I was expected to do it.

Just walking through the campus again and remembering what last year was like helped enormously - it reminded me that actually I did know a reasonable amount thank you very much. Whilst there was plenty that left me decidedly flummoxed at times the one subject I'd been really good at was personal pedagogy (style of teaching... well sort of) and so really I ought to quit worrying about the fact that my teaching style differed from most of my colleagues and believe in my A+ assignment instead!

Whilst I was away my team leader must have had a word with a few people and pointed out that I'd only done a 1yr very theoretical course not a 3yr centre based one like they had/were doing, plus it was my first job with toddlers and my first job in a day care (rather than kindergarten) setting, as I came back to some sincere apologies and a lot more support! I no longer seem to be expected to know how to deal with some of the more practical stuff without guidance which is a relief (those ear thermometers are just plain weird, toilet training techniques are still a steep learning curve for me and if we agree to do something in a team meeting we do it, right? Apparently not always....).

However graduation itself presented one of those moments when I was expected to know something I'd never even heard of... Gaudeamus? They don't teach that at Holmfirth High School and it certainly wasn't sung in Castle Leazes either! And then if that wasn't enough they had slightly different words to the Maori verse of the National Anthem which completely threw me as I thought I knew that one at least.... I got so stuck on the fact that one of the lines ended with 'Ao' when I was expecting 'ra' that I lost where we were up to 'cos I was so busy trying to work out if the rest of the words were the same as I expected. It was in a crap key anyway...

It was great to see some of my classmates and all the other friends I managed to catch up with whilst I was in Auckland (more about that another time methinks) but by the end of a week down there I was glad to get away from the big city and back to the clean air and quiet roads of home.

recent happenings

2009-04-12T15:07:00.004+12:00

Well after needing extra blankets during the night before and really not wanting to get out of bed into the cold of the morning Ryan and I decided we needed to light a fire yesterday evening. Having discovered we'd actully manged to use up all the boxes of cryptomaria (great firelighter material!) from last winter a quick scoot around the lawn filled up a new box of dead twigs that had fallen, that and some crumbling puriri soon got up enough heat for the logs to catch - the first proper fire of autumn.

It was so nice and cosy, us either side of the woodstove, each under a quilt (me because I was quilting one, him because he only had shorts with him not to mention it being part of his ritual of being here) watching Bagpuss and drinking hot chocolate. It felt like something from my own childhood, except the luxury of having the entire series on video was then well beyond my comprehension and '70s technology!

Ryan had come with William and I the day we went to the farm to get the firewood a few weeks ago. Ruth was still feeling pretty shaken from her ordeal with the ram so was trying to take it easy, Stephan was off helping Dan and Christina get in firewood - Rebecca and Roman were there as well so it was quite a family get together! Ryan hadn't been overly keen on going there at first having wanted to come to our place to play on the computer, but it didn't take long for Stephan's pond and the river to provide enough entertainment for him to be wishing he could live there and play there every day! No matter how good computer games get I don't think they'll ever beat the appeal to a small boy of throwing stones into a deep pool with a satisfying splosh =)

As part of my training and practice as an early childhood teacher I've often had to reflect on what kind of environment we want for children to grow up and learn in and it has to be said I struggle to come up with anything essential that wasn't around 30yrs ago or more. So much recent stuff leaves very little scope for the imagination (I'm now on book 6!) which, I'm as sure as Anne was, can't possibly be a good thing.

As Ruth has been catching up on her website updates not quite as much imagination is needed now to picture what happened to Stephan when bringing in another load of firewood a few days later. I must admit to being rather relieved that our trip out there was way less dramatic! So what with their brushes with death and the fire we've been living in interesting times around here... hopefully life will now quieten down and the biggest dramas will just be of the cat vs dog variety - although even they seem to be reaching an accomodation of each other.

tales and tails

2009-04-11T20:57:00.003+12:00

Well here I am yet again trying to catch up - it feels like so much has happened lately...

Last Saturday William and I were all set (Elizabeth having headed south for a staff hui and visiting family) to head into town on Saturday morning, go to the market, pick up Marie-Claire who was staying the night and head out to my colleague's to collect a kitten...

However an early phonecall from Mat turned our day topsy-turvy somewhat, there had been a fire in Phyllis' (William's mother) garage during the night. Well we all mucked in trying to make sense of what was damaged, much of which had been in the roof of the garage probably about 25yrs... As is the way of such things family mementos, assorted medals, photographs, an extensive kauri gum collection and several paintings were damaged or destroyed by fire and or water whereas the suitcases full of '70's recycled wrapping paper, Scout posters and bundles of old newspapers survived unscathed... the family sense of humour has been suitably rising to the occasion. The same garage copped it a couple of years ago during the big floods, rather drastic ways to ensure a clear out!

Marie-Claire was totally unfazed and joined in the sifting and even managed to make it on to the front page of The Northland Age with Phyllis and Dylan (who'd successfully avoided being in any photos I'd taken that day!). Well it made a change from WWOOFing I guess! She'd just been helping someone else move house that week and it reminded me of my own travels back in 2004, especially my week in Sydney which included attending a funeral and helping with a house move. There's something incredibly grounding amid all the transience about slotting into family life and just getting on with what needs to be done, I know I really appreciated mucking in with gardening, cooking and housework at various places as well as the more eventful occassions - it kept me in touch with 'normal life'.

Several times during the day I reflected on how grateful I was not only that the fire was in the garage not the house and Phyllis was ok, but that my parents had cleared out their attic, cupboards and outhouses of accumulated cumber when they moved up to Scotland... sorting that lot out at some point was not a task to be relished, I'm so glad they've done the worst of it already. I think several resolutions were made that day about timely clearouts of various homes, sheds and garages.

Well with still blackened fingers we eventually headed off to find my kitten. How to choose? The black ones all looked so alike it was really hard to know who you'd already had a go at getting to know, so it was back to the old faithful... take a deep breath and let the universe decide. I picked up the nearest kitten, it didn't struggle and snuggled up - done! I wanted a friendly cuddley moggy and that is what I got =) Well friendly to humans anway; dog and kitten are still trying to work out of they are friend or foe...

simplicity

2009-03-30T17:19:00.003+13:00

Well this weekend saw Elizabeth, Eleanor and I heading back to Kerikeri on Sunday for another of our Testimonies study days and to discuss various Quaker business matters arising at a MM (regional) and YM (national) level.

This time the testimony we looked at was simplicity - one I've thought about much over the years and this became apparent when doing one of the exercises. We had to write down on small pieces of paper 10 objects that were important to us, 8 tasks/responisbilities or activities we did and 6 roles we held. Well if that wasn't a challenge enough for us we then had to imagine we'd been given a wonderful opportunity to dramatically change our lives (examples given included a dream job overseas, retirement to a Quaker community, a new relationship etc)... having decided what that was we then had to get rid of half our pieces of paper!

Well, reading on in the handbook it became apparent that they really expected you to be able to get rid of the objects more easily than the tasks/roles etc. They obviously didn't expect someone who had already taken up that dream job overseas to attempt it! My list of objects I wasn't about to give up were the things that I knew already I couldn't give up - my taonga (pendant) from the FWCC Triennial in Auckland 2004, my Granny's wedding ring, my passport and work permit (which I ammended to say 'visa to stay here' having given up my job amidst the cull!) and then photos (and a camera). The rest of my objects were all family 'heirlooms' and childhood memorabilia - I know from the last few years I can live without them but I'd rather they stayed in the family.

Life has proved to me more than once that providence will provide - sure it's handy to have your own this that and the next thing but when push comes to shove it's amazing what you can live without, beg, borrow or recycle without too much ado. I've learned to live without much of the cumber I had accumulated over the years and usually without regret - altho' it was frustrating this morning to discover that the black pair of jeans I though were still in the bottom of the drawer had gone some time back! Oh well, I got away with wearing blue ones for work (it's too cold in the mornings for shorts now).

I was quite happy at the idea of giving up work in the exercise (I've been keen on retirement since before I even started work! It always struck me as akin to the description of being a widow I recently came across in one of the Anne of Green Gables book - you get your freedom without the stigma/public pressure - in that case of being an old maid and to marry, in this of being unemployed and to get a job!) but I realised that I couldn't give up my Quaker involvement (on committees etc) - I've tried that before and whilst it was nice to have a break at first I didn't feel like 'me'...

Simplifying my life is something that I've done both drastically and in small steps over the years. One of the things we read on Sunday stated it's more about living life 'appropriately' than having a spartan existance and I like that definition. With a change in life style this year (having a more conventional working week) and gradually rejoining the world of those with disposable income Sundays session was a timely reminder for me to reassess what is appropriate to where I am in life right now in terms of how I allocate my time, energy and money.

history lesson

2009-03-21T20:15:00.006+13:00

Oh dear, I'm lagging behind a bit....

The day after the Kerikeri trip I was back on the road to the Bay of Islands, but this time with a bus full of school kids! Pukepoto Primary is next door to us and I've been doing volunteer one-to-one reading there with the kids pretty much since I moved here. I only get in once a week now I'm working but I really enjoy my contact with them and they're always glad of an extra pair of hands come excursion time.

The main highlight of the day out was of course watching the dolphins play around the boat we were on - jumping out of the water, swiming along side and underneath us and generally being their usual awe inspiring selves. But apart from that and the boat actually going through the 'Hole in the Rock' the purpose of our day was to get a hands on history lesson.

Now I grew up going to places like Beamish and the Colne Valley Museum etc so Pompallier in Russell as a concept wasn't quite such the novelty for me as it was for the kids and probably most of the adults who went. Being able to wander through a place set up as it would've been in the 1840's, see, and take part in yourself, the processes involved in book making was just mind blowing though for some of the kids. For me it was just great not to see roped off areas and it being a real 'hands on' experience. Whilst the tannery and printing side of things held few surprises for me there were several 'Ahhh! That's how they did it!' moments for me when it came to the bookbinding. It all fitted in rather nicely with the books I've just been reading - Ann Turnbull's No Shame, No Fear and Forged in the Fire set in the days of early Friends against a printing backdrop.

Pompallier is a name I've been familiar with for a while (one of the local schools being named for him) but I'd never really taken in much about Bishop Pompallier. I was impressed to find a Catholic Bishop ensuring that the little known fourth Article of the Treaty of Waitangi got signed which gave equal status to the various religions already present in the islands, of both Maori and Pakeha origin. It's a pity the various Protestant missionaries weren't as open minded to that of 'God already present'.

a weekends wanderings

2009-03-16T12:39:00.005+13:00

Well it was nice to have a weekend at home at last, even Meeting was at ours so the only place I had to go was to bike into town to do some shopping, finally catch up with Phyllis again for the first time since Boxing Day and, as it turned out, have a cuppa with Marie-Claire too and the guy she's WWOOFing for.

A welcome contrast to the previous weekend, much as that too was very enjoyable. On Saturday evening we'd gone out to Honeymoon Valley for Peter's birthday get-together (he works at the kindy where I did some relieving etc last year). It's an amazing place although my stomach wasn't overly excited about the Peria Road - or maybe it was a bit too excited and wanted to go back and see the bit we'd just past? In any case I managed to hang on to my insides and we found their place hidden away in the bush. They've cut a clearing for a caravan which now sits under a very impressive roof - the support beams made out of the felled gum trees, gradually they are creating a home and garden there out in the wilds. Definitely simple living out there but you'd be stuffed without your own transport.

With a campfire (the rain having lifted the fire ban!), live music, a good spread of food and convivial company it was a very pleasant evening - and the mozzies stayed away!!! However we didn't stay all that late as Elizabeth and I had to head for Kerikeri in the morning.

Kaitaia and Kerikeri Worship Groups (Quakers) have started working through the BYM Testimonies Toolkit and this was our second meeting, with the focus this time on 'truth and integrity'. In the way that things sometimes take on a life of their own we found ourselves considering our position in the Monthly Meeting which theoretically covers everything north of the Waitemata Harbour (Auckland) but from which we have felt somewhat separate from geographically and spiritually in recent times. From time to time the two Worship Group have sent Minutes to our Friends further south who hold the regular business meeting but there hasn't been any sense of real connection with the affairs of the Monthly or Yearly Meeting. Well Dad doesn't call Quakers a DIY religion for nothing, chances are if you want something done you need to do it! So there and then we had our own 'Northern Friends' business meeting and decided to do so regularly in conjunction with our study days.

Well we've possibly rocked a few boats and stood on some toes already but it feels like a really positive step for us as individual and joint worshipping communities up here. We'll see where it all goes from here.

Along with the Quakery aspect of the day I also managed to squeeze in seeing Natalie (one of my classmates from last year) and her 2yr old Matthew at lunchtime and collect Marie-Claire who a mutual friend had put in touch with me as she was coming over to NZ for a few months. So the day involved a fair bit of mental gymnastics with catching up on completely different aspects of my life! I don't like pigeon-holing people and quite like it when my various worlds meet. I had nothing like long enough with either Natalie or Marie-Claire so it was good to realise I'd see them both again before long.

Auckland and back... again

2009-03-02T14:58:00.003+13:00

Well the last couple of weekends have seen me heading up and down SH1 to Auckland and back, I don't go there for months on end and then totally over do it! I'm shattered but it has been great to catch up with folk, and to retrieve my stuff out of storage!

The first trip was timed so I could see Alice, another (Quaker) Summer Schooler to make it out to visit here. She's marrying a Kiwi (sensible girl) so came over for a few weeks to meet the prospective inlaws and fell in love (as one does) with the country too, so hopefully she'll be back for a few years at some point =) There is something about the Summer School/NYFSG connection that squidges up time between meetings in that it never really feels like all that long since I last saw whoever I see from there regardless of whether it has been a couple of weeks, months or years (I haven't quite had to put decades to the test yet but that'll no doubt happen when Rachel from Holiday School moves out here!). Maybe it's because so many of us are used to seeing each other just once a year anyway that anything less is considered a bonus.

I stayed with Margaret & Robert and children that trip, first time I'd seen them in over 6 mths so there was much catching up and exchanging of news and gossip to be had (although the juiciest bit I knew I was then still sworn to secrecy about, most frustrating...). Much to my delight Benjamin remembered me still and Lucy only took a couple of hours to get used to me instead of a couple of days. As Margaret is a 'playcentre mum' we spent time talking shop too - learning stories and other forms of documentation of early years learning.

A colleague gave me a lift down and back and as he has a truck (translation: 4x4 thing, not a ute or a lorry!) we managed to squeeze almost all my stuff from storage into the back - the remaining cabinet went off to be restored and collected the following weekend. The cabinet was my grandparents American wireless cabinet and had suffered from being used by the infamous 'landlord's father' at Croydon Rd to sit a bucket of plaster on. Okay so it's taken me over 15yrs to get it fixed but now it is back to it's former glory (and probably in better nick than when I inherited it). The next step is to shift it north from Sarah & Karl's shed...

We couldn't bring it back with us this weekend as it wouldn't fit with 4 of us in the car - Ryan joined us to go down for Kerehoma's 1st birthday party (well actually it was at least his 2nd birthday party having had one the weekend before in Invercargill, but still to celebrate his first birthday!). It was removals in the opposite direction this time as we had a car-load of Mim's stuff following her down for the new uni year. Thankfully it was cool enough on the way down for Ryan and I to be quite glad we were snuggled up all squidged together, somewhat different from the much hotter (and far less cramped) journey back. Having been sick at Christmas when they were up home it was great to spend time with them all whilst feeling up to being sociable!

There were so many other people I'd hoped to see in these trips down but other than popping in to see Faith & Margaret, the current Auckland Resident Friends soon to be heading back to Sheffield, it just didn't happen. Probably just as well though, I'm worn out enough as it is! Hopefully it'll be a quiet week at work - yeah right....

under the weather

2009-02-12T19:09:00.002+13:00

Well whilst some of my friends are willing the temperature to rise above 30'F I'm willing it to drop below 30'C... we have had some ridiculously hot weather the last few weeks - especially last weekend. This week the drought was finally broken and our water tanks went from holding 5 days worth of water (filched from the creek, the rainwater supplies having been used up a while ago) to over a months worth in one day! However the temperatures still keep creeping up albeit not quite as high but the resulting humidity is just as stifling.

As you can imagine this is leaving us with a lot of hot, tired and bothered children and some very tired staff at work. It's getting to brain-malfunction point and those who are pregnant have resorted to borrowing the cold pack we keep in the freezer for bumps and bruises to mop their weary brows!

However it must be said the most fun we've had there in ages was a couple of days ago during the tropical downpour. At first teachers were bringing the kids inside which to me seemed a bit crazy given that we'd been hosing them down the week before, why miss out on a giant sprinkler system? But then a few of us decided pretty much simultaneously that we were happy to get wet and the next thing we knew we had half the kids out there running around with the biggest grins on their faces, shrieking with laughter as they ran under the water pouring off the shade sails and overflowing from the spouting. It took a few bumps to persuade them to keep off the wet decking as it turned into an ice rink with all the surface water and in the interests of safety (and our sanity) we had to keep them off the slide which had turned into a water shute, but without a pool to land in.

The mud that was created and enormous puddles on the grass meant the stopping of the rain did not signal the end of the days entertainment. You know those photos of Glastonbury on a wet year? Well lets just say our new shower tub got a lot of use that day!

Pigs and ducks couldn't have been happier =)

The weather forecast is for another downpour tonight and tomorrow. I think I'll pack a change of clothes for work in the morning....

to do lists

2009-02-02T19:36:00.004+13:00

Okay, bloods are done, medical is done, x-ray is next Monday... I'm getting there slowly. Actually I got there this morning a lot quicker than I expected to, not having been on the bike for about 6 weeks. I do believe (gasp, horror, surely not?) I might even be somewhere in the vague vicinity of being fit! Now there's a turn up for the books it must be said.

About 6 months ago Melina wrote on facebook about her 30 things to do before she turned 30 - these could be random little things or life changing events. Well obviously I missed the 30 by 30 boat by a long margin but figured that 40 by 40 was achieveable if I started then (ie with 18 mths to go rather than a year). On my list are big things like get residency here, the above visa process being a part of this plan, but also there are the small things too - like the long list of classic books and films that I really think I ought to have read/seen by now. I've made serious progress on the book front, need to be a bit more proactive with the films though somehow - joining the library today will hopefully help with both.

Also on my list though is confidently swimming in the sea when it's anything other than flat calm (calm being a rarity here!) - well more to the point getting to the point where I don't panic when I end up underwater (legacy of an unfortunate collision with a boogie board and some hefty surf a few years ago) and managing to 'catch a wave' and body surf in towards the shore. I'm getting there, slowly it has to be admitted, but after almost two years up here I finally waded out into water that was chest deep this weekend and tried to catch the waves rather than just jump up and hope not to get knocked over! I rather envy those who've grown up here and take to the sea like, well a duck to water (or maybe something a little more graceful!) - when your seaside experience as a child is a few days a year with the North or Irish Sea looking more grey than Mediteranean blue you become much better at building sandcastles rather than swimming in the surf!

However my sandcastle expertise does come in rather handy these days it must be said all the early childhood centres hereabouts have nice big sandpits - about as far removed conceptually from the trough of sand at my childhood playgroup as Ninety Mile Beach is from Whitley Bay!

busy being at home

2009-01-26T20:41:00.004+13:00

Darn it, spoke too soon... I need to get a new medical and TB x-ray done for my visa. Ho hum, I was going to need them this year anyway to apply for residency, so I guess it's just a matter of getting a to it sooner than I'd planned - and budgeted for!

I've spent much of today uploading photos of Summer Gathering to Flickr - almost done now but not quite. I took a few near the beginning of the event, then almost nothing until the last couple of days then went crazy... I decided against uploading the 20 photos of the goldfish in the pond that Liam took, I figured that one would do, but don't tell him though eh?

Well, a long weekend has come and gone, and my to do list really doesn't look any shorter. However there are now about 14 more jars of plum jam in the cupboard, 5 ice cream containers of stewed plums and a shelf full of bags of frozen plums stoned and halved! I'm currently experimenting with making fruit leather with some of them (ta for the idea Jo!) - it tastes very nice and decidedly more-ish, so it can't possibly be good for you... I drafted in the troops to help harvest (and take them away, with compulsory courgettes thrown in for good measure!) - I reckon between us we've picked 60kg of plums this weekend, and there are still some on the tree ripening up to eat.

With all the home produce that's around here it was rather odd to hear on the radio this morning Alison Holst (sort of a Kiwi version of Delia Smith) saying that there's a whole generation of those 35 and under who won't buy potatoes because they need peeling!

Personally I find that rather hard to get my head around, especially given that you can buy them ready scrubbed and not needing peeled half the time anyway. She was recommending some frozen potato product that comes from Belgium on the grounds that it was better that people ate that than not eat potatoes at all... well I guess in terms of diet maybe, but the idea of an 'extruded' potato product from half way around the world (no offence Belgium!) instead of freshly dug spuds from the garden a few meters away or locally grown really does not compute. Considering the concern there is about the rising cost of foodstuffs and the weekly shop it seems even crazier.

Oh well, it looks like our next glut of garden produce will be beans or tomatoes - the race is on. I'm not complaining though, it will sure beat chosing between tinned tomatoes from China (hmmm.... maybe not) or Italy (ouch food miles...).

another update

2009-01-13T20:08:00.003+13:00

Hmmm, so much for more regular updates! Well it transpired that I either made an attempt to circulate my end of year epistle OR blogged... if you received neither my humble apologies, will aim to do better next year...

Well, where to start? Christmas arrived with a whoosh and several flushes - a nasty tummy bug did the rounds making it a memorable Christmas but probably not for the kind of reasons any of us affected want to dwell on; although a certain episode of projectile vomitting will probably go down in family folklore around here (it wasn't me!).

Thankfully Liam and I recovered in time to head off to Summer Gathering where I p(r)oxy parented him and the younger Bradley boys for the week - for the record they were absolute angels and not a pick of bother, yay! There are many things I thought of blogging about from that event and they may or may not surface over the coming weeks... we'll have to see how much energy I have left over after finally starting my first salaried job in over 3 years! I visited Wellington in between and found the walk between M&Q's and town just as thought productive as usual (and I even discovered a new, shorter, route through the Town Belt!) but somehow those posts never got written either. I have a serious amount of catching up to do!

Anyway my main task this evening has been completing (yet another) set of visa/work permit forms to be couriered off tomorrow. For once the passport photos I have are still new enough, my UK Police checks are within date and so is my medical certificate - woo hoo!

Right now though I think it is time for a cuppa and another early night....

then what...?

2008-12-06T10:25:00.002+13:00

Well as Lucy asked....!

The 'then what?' has turned into a job working with 18mths-3yr olds at the centre where I did my under 2's practicum. It's great starting work in a centre where I know the staff, many of the kids, know my way around, feel comfortable with the philosophy and feel part of the team right from the start. I feel like I've really landed on my feet.

At the moment I'm doing 2 days a week until the Christmas break and then hopefully by the time that's over I'll have my new work permit sorted so I can do 4 days a week. If not I'll stick to 2 until it comes through. The usual seasonal shut-down will no doubt impact on how fast my new visa/permit can get processed so I'm hoping the university get their act together soon and provide me with my graduation letter as I can't procede without it. Oh the joys of online systems, I've had all my grades back (and passed!) but they aren't 'on the system' yet... hey ho. Just as well my current visa lasts 'til the end of March!

I've spent my two days at work this week being called 'mummy' - something I've been getting used to this year as several little ones often use it regardless as to who they are addressing. A conversation over at Clare's the other night raised an interesting point about different cultural perspectives on terms such as aunty, whaea, teacher, grandma etc - Clare had been reading an article which explained that the indigenous perspective (South Pacific? I've forgotten quite where now... but it could as easily be here) was that naming the relationship between people was far more important than the actual names. This fitted in with what one of the mums had said to me this week, that her boy (aged 2) tends to call anyone he feels safe with 'mummy'.

It was quite a leap of perspective for me having got so used to the Quaker use names not 'titles' idea and having in the past been quite convinced that I'd be 'Anna' to everyone and not 'Aunty' (by blood/marriage or friendship) and certainly not Miss/Ms/Mrs. These to me were equated with hierarchy and inequality, not surprising coming from Britain - re-reading Jane Austen recently was a reminder that to be a Mrs was far superior then to being a Miss, and being Aunt.... was indicative of ones place in the family pecking order.

Yet it has to be said, over the last year or so I've found myself using whaea (for older women) far more comfortably than I ever used Aunty and wishing that there was some term that could explain the close relationship that I have with children who technically (to me) in a pakeha sense I'm not Aunty to but in all others I may as well be. Despite growing up in an area where female friends of parents were often Aunty it was never part of our family practice and somehow I still can't quite let go of that term meaning a formal family relationship even though these days it would make sense to just use it!

So for those out there who have considered themselves to be my Aunty or Uncle and who may have been saddened by me dropping that part of their name some years back I'm sorry, I never thought about what it might mean to you in terms of acknowledging our relationship. I'm not sure I'll ever go back to using it in the UK but I guess if I can answer to 'mummy' I can allow myself to be aunty too!

update

2008-11-11T19:55:00.002+13:00

Ok, it's been quiet on here again for a while... but apart from one blissfull weekend between the last assignment being handed in and my final practicum starting I'm still struggling to remember what it was like to have a life that isn't controlled by academic deadlines.

The pressure has been off a bit in that producing 3 'reflections' (about a side of A4) a week plus Learning Stories for the kids portfolios is a bit easier than 2,000 word assignments. However due to a distinct lack of overlap between my personal teaching philosophy and that of the centre I'm at, each reflection tends to end up being a work of diplomacy as well as a commentary on my experiences. My university supervisor assures me that this is good professional development, but after 4 1/2 weeks of it and 2 1/2 to go I'm feeling that there is such a thing as over-development!

I've got my official assessment meeting tomorrow, my lecturer is coming up to visit which I'm really looking forward to - especially after she gave me another A for my assignment! I was a bit worried (having got good grades all year from her) that my last one fell short of the mark a bit and she'd be disappointed. All a bit of a turn up for the books really compared to my previous academic experience where my highest grade was 1% lower than my current lowest! Mind you I haven't got my Arts assignment back yet which may spoil my record...

So right now I'm supposed to be putting the finishing touches to my assessment portfolio, writing about how I meet the 'Fit to be a teacher' criteria (apparently saying I walked home with Elizabeth today - about 5-6km - isn't what they want) and somehow reflecting on the Code of Ethics... as you can see my grades may have gone up but I'm just as bad (good?) at procrastination as I ever was!

Hmmm, maybes a cuppa and a soak in the bath will help wake the brain cells up enough?

an unhurried journey?

2008-09-22T09:42:00.006+12:00

okay, okay, it's been a while - but I've discovered that working part time and studying full time doesn't leave much brain space for anything else... strange huh? Anyway, before I get back to writing the best part (worst part...?) of 7,000 words, plus mind maps, text templates, appendices and anything else I've forgotten, in the next three weeks for four different assignments here's something for you to ponder on.... (also known as Appendix III for Assignment 2, EDPROFST 621 - due in on Thursday)

Sigh... not much chance of an unhurried anything around here for a wee while.

Notes on an unhurried journey

When we adults think of children, there is a simple truth which we ignore: childhood is not preparation for life; childhood is life.

A child isn't getting ready to live; a child is living. The child is constantly confronted with the nagging question; 'What are you going to be?' Courageous would be the child who, looking the adult squarely in the face would say, 'I'm not going to be anything, I already am.' We adults would be shocked by such an insolent remark, for we have forgotten, if indeed we ever knew, that a child is an active participating and contributing member of society from the time he or she is born.

Childhood isn't a time when he is moulded into a human being who will then live life; he is a human being who is living life. No child will miss the zest and joy of living unless these are denied him by adults who have convinced themselves that childhood is a period of preparation.

How much heartache would we save ourselves if we would recognise the child as a partner with adults in the process of living rather than always viewing him as their apprentice.

How much would we teach each other... Adults with the experience and children with their freshness..., how full both our lives could be.

A little child may not lead us but at least we ought to discuss the trip with him; for, after all, life is his and her journey too.

Professor T Ripaldi

spiritual intelligence

2008-07-31T18:28:00.004+12:00

Hickman describes how access to the spirit is through stillness, and through experiences in which the mind can be quiet and can make space for the soul - experiences that are similar to meditation. Although we can experience spiritual connectedness through activities such as peace marches or rock concerts, Hickman's notion of access to the spirit is more closely related to becoming 'centred', through experiences such as simply going for a walk, having a quiet 'cuppa' in the back garden, or sitting by the sea - anything where we can give the 'doing' of our normal activites a rest.
(Susan Wright, in Children, meaning-making and the arts, 2003)

Well whenI found this in one of my set texts I discovered the joy APA referencing can bring in a way I'd never before dreamed about! Ok so I still had to use Google (keep up the good work Pete!) but eventually I found the original article by Cynthia Hickman. Now I've no idea if either Susan and/or Cynthia are Quakers or not but they are certainly fellow travellers.

At Yearly Meeting we were challenged to consider just what it was we had to offer - there we were deciding how to celebrate 100yrs of Business Meetings (yeah, yeah, I know...) and we were asked 'we know what Quakers have done historically but but what do we do now?' What do we stand for? If we're going to tell the world (well ok, Aotearoa New Zealand) we're here what do we have to say?

I would like to think that what we offer is a place for people to explore and nurture their individual and collective spiritual intelligence, a gathered community seeking in the stillness food for the soul. As Hickman says

"....people with spiritual 'intelligence' understand that life is precious and therefore sacred and worthy of respect. What counts is the degree to which we can embody spiritual principles here on the material plane. Can we live in balance and harmony, creating generous and loving lives that make a contribution to the whole? Can we express tolerance, courage and dignity as we go about our daily activities? Are we capable of openness and forgiveness?"

Sounds remarkably like 'Advices and Queries' to me.

community building

2008-07-29T11:03:00.003+12:00

I was asked some months back to do some 'getting to know you' activites at the Pre-YM Seminar (9-11 July '08).

It's just as well I'm now used to the Kiwi 'she'll be right' way of organising things... although I'm pretty sure we've planned a few Link Group w/e's in a similar manner (memories of me, Ruth and Susie at Glendevon Rd organising an entire event over just one pot of tea... please don't tell Mina, she'd be horrified!). A couple of weeks before the event I tried emailing round to get an idea of what the other sessions were to be about as I discovered from the programme that my slot had transformed into a whole session entitled 'community building'! Having been to various events over the years where the first night has felt like it has had nothing to do with the rest of the event I wanted to tie things in together somehow.

Well the day before I headed south I finally got a reply! So it was a case of trusting the spirit and hoping for the best. What I had managed to find out was some idea as to who might be there, so knowing we'd have one electric wheelchair and one person with walking sticks 'the sun shines on...' went out of the window as an option (I think the weather was coming to a similar conclusion) - no point giving Marilyn & Chris and unfair advantage!!! I wasn't worried about them, more our squashed toes...

What we did, which was fascinating to hear, was a go round where everyone introduced themselves briefly and then said who in the room they'd known the longest and how, and then someone they'd just, or recently, met. We heard an amazing variety of connections including teacher and pupil, 'Miss New Zealand' and an inspired teenager (albeit some years back!), people who'd known each other since babes in arms or as young girls with pigtails (which raised a laugh), connections through the Alternatives to Violence Programme, retreat centres, peace campaigns, Britain YM Treasurers conference, and Yorkshire Friends Holiday School. Margaret who is one of the current Resident Friends in Auckland was staff at Holiday School when I was there as a teenager!

The interconnectedness of our lives and the different sources of these connections, not just Quaker, did manage to thread it's way through the ongoing conversations of the gathering. I was the only participant under 50 but the energy levels were high! It gave an insight into people's worlds that we possibly wouldn't have stumbled across any other way and by the end of that first session we felt like we all knew each other far better. Many delighted exclamations were made at being someone's 'longest known' and those who were visitors to the YM got many mentions for being the most recent aquaintences so we were all well aware of who they were and they felt well and truely welcomed!

Our sense of community was indeed being built on firm foundations.

ps a note to anyone planning to try this who wants to be a bit more organised in advance - it took us at least an hour to get round about 25 people, but I didn't rush anyone and we had plenty time to play with.

power-less

2008-07-26T11:26:00.003+12:00

For the third time in four weeks my weekend has been affected by power outages, at least with a woodstove and a gas hob here we’re better off than we were at Yearly Meeting as at least part of the house stays warm and we can still make a cuppa!

On-line studying becomes a whole new challenge once the power goes off. I don’t usually print our weekly task sheets off in the interests of saving paper, ink and power – there has been a nationwide energy saving campaign going for the last 6 weeks or so as the South Island hydro-lakes dropped to scarily low levels, pity we can’t send them our Northland rain… But when faced with the possibility of losing a days study due to not being able to access what I should be doing our poor little printer was going like the clappers once the power resumed (for the second time) today – just in case!

After last weekend I learned my lesson and remembered to fill buckets for toilet flushing, filled the kettle back up straight away after making a cuppa and am saving anything on the computer every couple of sentences! Thankfully the outages have been relatively short so far and from the news it sounds like we’re getting off lightly compared to other parts of the country where serious damage is being done.

Somewhere out there William is on a plane heading back to Kerikeri via Auckland, we’ll be mightily relieved once we hear he’s landed safely where he should be and hasn’t been blown off course to the Chatham Islands, Dunedin or suchlike. I’m not so sure I’d’ve wanted to fly at all. Mind you assuming he gets to Kerikeri he still has to drive home. It was bad enough just going out to feed the chooks (who were ankle deep in muddy puddles until I moved them) and bring in firewood, it’s definitely a ‘don’t go out unless you absolutely have to’ kind of day.

Hmmm, flickering lights again. Better close the computer down before the power goes off this time methinks…

update: William finally got home about 11pm, the flight to Auckland from Brisbane was fine, but the replacement bus to Kerikeri slow and the route from there home badly flooded, it had taken him about 12hrs at least to get home - about twice what it should have.

arts

2008-07-24T11:48:00.002+12:00

For my Arts paper this semester we had to write an introduction that covered our early experiences in the four aspects of arts that we will cover: visual arts, dance, drama and music.

Reading through what I had written and the contributions of many of my classmates I realised just how big an impact on the rest of our lives those early years and school age experiences have had. All it took in some cases was one person/teacher saying that they weren’t good enough and that was it, end of creativity in that field.

Apparently as soon as I could sit up in my pram my mum put a crayon in my hand and I've been drawing ever since, with varying degrees of confidence over the years - even if it was just doodles in the margins of my lecture notes! However doing still life for what felt like an eternity but was probably just a term at High School knocked my confidence for six, I couldn’t produce the photographic representation that seemed to be required. Perhaps this is why photography itself became such an important artistic outlet for me.

At playgroup (probably aged 3yrs old) I went off drama and 35yrs later I've still not got over it - I had to be a shepherd in the nativity play and stand with the boys in a dressing gown with a tea-towel on my head, I couldn't be an angel because I didn't have blond hair and blue eyes. It probably had something to do with my lifelong aversion to all things stereotypically girly too – I wonder would that have been different if I could’ve been an angel? Possibly not, but the fact that it still sticks out for me like a sore thumb shows just how much it affected my perception of myself, it took well into adulthood before I could accept that someone meant it if they said I was pretty because I just didn’t believe them.

I learned the recorder aged 5 (as did our entire class! That must have sounded terrible…), the flute aged 12 and sang in school/college choirs until I went to uni where the all the groups required you to do an audition and I can't sight read. I never properly ‘read’ the music, if I didn't know how it went I couldn't play it, even though I could tell you in theory what the notes were and how long they were supposed to be for. Sadly the aftermath of an arthritic condition in my early 20's has scuppered any instrument playing as I can't play for long enough to get/stay any good! But I still love to sing, when I’ve voice enough…

With dance I'm far happier ceilidh dancing (Scottish, country, folk, whatever) or salsa as then I don't have to decide what to do! I suspect the dreaded ‘Music & Movement’ sessions at primary school put me off any kind of free style/interpretative dance – I just felt silly and didn’t know what to do, being pressured to think of something on the spot has never been a goer for me at anything!

It’s an onerous responsibility to think that anything I might do could influence a child’s perception of their creative talents for life – hopefully at best I can meet the maxim of ‘do no harm’ and hopefully somewhere along the line do some good.

getting a 'to it'

2008-07-20T16:27:00.002+12:00

Well I came back from Auckland with several posts spinning around my head about Yearly Meeting and the seminar, being back at uni and several other things that had been taking up headspace for the last 10 days or so.

Today was to be the day when I caught up on internet related things having spent my time after returning yesterday afternoon unpacking, washing clothes, reorganising my room to fit the stuff extracted from storage and managing to get hold of my parents on skype.

I had my 'to do' list and was all set to start after breakfast (for once eaten at the table and not multi-tasking at the computer) when the radio fizzled out and various applicances expressed their indignation to us. We had a 'brown out'. The power had dropped so low as to be virtually not there, and eventually gave up the ghost altogether. So, to save aforementioned appliances from deciding to go into a terminal sulk, the three of us went around switching off everything at the wall, and I mean everything - freezers, the works. A task involving chairs, ladders, sticks and balancing appliances at angles that certainly don't come recommended in the manufacturers instructions and would give OSH a heart attack.

The weather was having power surges too - on again off again rain meaning bright clear skies one minute and dim grey light you could barely read by the next.

Power outages aren't exactly uncommon round here during or after bad weather and the thunder storm last night was pretty spectacular. Usually power isn't long returning though so the morning trickled by as we found odds and ends of things to do whilst awaiting showers (ha! for once I'd had mine before breakfast!), the internet, water and electricity in general. The downside of tanked water is an electric pump.... how long can you sit cross-legged hoping the power will come back on so you can flush the loo? Needless to say we gave up waiting long before the power resumed 7 hours later!

Well one small task led to another and eventually I gave in - reorganising my filing has been on my 'to do' list since I got back from the UK with the last bits of official paperwork that needed to be kept 'somewhere safe'. I needed to find my UK police check for work and it wasn't where I thought it was.

So several hours later, having recarpeted the sitting room with paper in the meantime I am now the proud possessor of an organised filing system. I even found my police check, altho' sadly not in time for William to JP certify a copy of it before heading off to Brisbane and presumably electricity. It was somewhat theraputic to chuck out (recycle!) a great heap of defunct paperwork and return what was left to some some semblance of order - which has been sorely lacking since I left Edinburgh.

It wasn't quite the to do list I had intended to clear today but I feel much better for it. Maybe we should have power cuts more often..... I will blog the other stuff eventually though, honest!

freeeeeedoooooom!

2008-06-28T09:35:00.002+12:00

Well for another couple of weeks anyway! If there is anyone checking in regularly still (apart from my parents!) you will have noticed a distinct lack of activity here of late - well I've had 4 assignments to write in 3 weeks, plus being prompt for the local Amature Dramatic's plays and so much relieving at Kindy this last week that I'm remembering (again) why I have no long term plans to work full time if I can possibly avoid it... talk about burning the candle at both ends!

So, no visitors this weekend (I'm hoping Em & Chris have decided camping in this weather is a bad idea and have found somewhere more substantial to sleep!), so far no small boys to look after, no homework to do (well I could start reading next semester's stuff which arrived yesterday but there is such a thing as being over-keen).... It all feels very strange being at a loose end again, I'd almost forgotten what days like this were like!

As it's raining cats, dogs and stair-rods (but still no men) again, complete with thunder storms, an inside day is on the cards methinks. Woodstove, cuppa, good book.... sounding good to me! But I guess I ought to catch up on some housework first, got to feel as though I've done something constructive with my day afterall!!

my late afternoon routine

2008-06-12T17:32:00.004+12:00

Bring in the washing before it starts getting damp again
Feed the chooks, before it gets dark and they go to sleep
Collect the eggs
Pick up the windfall fruit
Pick veges* for tea from the garden
Fill up the firewood basket, whilst it's still light enough to spot lurking wetas in the log pile
Bring in some cryptomaria for kindling if the box is empty
Round up the dog who has usually gone awol sometime during the above....
Cook tea

*kiwi english spelling!

Another day in paradise....

it's dark, and I'm wearing sunglasses...

2008-05-23T18:42:00.002+12:00

....nowhere to be by morning though.

I've been wearing sunglasses for about a week now. It's the only way I can cope with the world right now. I've had viral conjunctivitis - 'pink eye'. And if you are wondering what that looks like, well let's just say they weren't up all night thinking of a name for it. What it doesn't describe is the swollen eyelids, the crusty 'sleep', infuriating itching, photosensitivity (and no I didn't want my picture taken either) and thumping headaches.

I hadn't really appreciated how much I used my eyes until I couldn't. All my usual curl up and feel sorry for myself past times were out - reading, films and of course the computer. I managed to sew all the pieces I had cut out already for the next quilt but ground to a halt when it came to cutting more cloth - I'd already sliced two fingers peeling pumpkin and the thought of weilding a rotary cutter when I couldn't quite see what I was doing... well blood doesn't wash off cotton as well as pumpkin so I gave that a miss.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about those I knew who have been losing their sight, no matter how frustrating this last week has been for me at least I knew it would all clear up again. How would I adapt if this was permanent? What would I find to do to pass the time?! I guess I'd get used to it and gain more confident within my limitations eventually but it's scary how debilitating it has felt. I'm not sure if it has filled me with more admiration for those I know who cycle or drive with poor sight or whether it now scares me even more to think of them out there on the roads!!!

wedding

2008-05-12T21:23:00.003+12:00

My brother Jon gets married in a few hours time - hopefully I'll sleep through the ceremony but I expect I'll be awake for the reception.

Not that I'll be there, I'll be tucked up in bed on the other side of the world and then getting up ready to go to my early childhood teaching placement. Thanks Leo & Aunty Meg for filling in for me =)

It feels a bit surreal really - they've been together so long now (over a decade) that it's not like anyone new is joining the family, Rachel already is family. So much so that I've got forgetting her birthday down the same fine art as I have with everyone else... well not so much the forgetting it per se as forgetting to do anything about it in time - even harder now I've got to allow for an extra 6 days postage!

I'm sad I can't be there with them. But I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles and it's not exactly the first wedding I would have loved to be at that I've missed by having moved to the opposite side of the world either and won't be the only one this year. As the saying goes - you make your bed, you have to lie in it.... which right now seems like a rather good idea! Time for sleep methinks.

And when I wake up my brother will be a married man. Weird.....

remembering Dean

2008-04-28T11:42:00.003+12:00

It doesn't feel like it was over 24yrs ago. The memories are still vivid. The stunned silence of the classroom and muted reaction. The quiet tears. The empty desk.

The disbelief. He couldn't have died, he was in school last week.

The anger - that HRI needed to hold jumble sales and cake stalls to raise funds for a bodyscanner that could have spotted what was wrong and thus saved his life whilst Maggie spent several fortunes on nuclear weapons that could never be used and cut back on NHS expenditure to do so.

The indignation - when the vicar at the carol service kept going on and on about it and then expected the school brass band behind him, which included Dean's teammates and classmates, to play - as if his lengthy ponderings had been the usual Christmas offering.

The feeling of helplessness - wanting to reach out to those classmates who knew him far better than I but never knowing how to do so or what to say.

The incredible response at school - the collection box outside Barson's office raised over two hundred pounds, not bad for school kids in 1983, especially considering Dean had only been with us for a few months.

The gratitude - to Liverpool Football Club for the wreath. He'd died from a football injury. It meant a lot to us.

The sense of loss - of someone I'd only just been getting to know but had instantly liked.

And now?

I don't think I've ever quite forgiven that vicar. We only just had enough tissues between us in the choir. It isn't easy singing when you've been crying, and the haunting picture of Stephen's tears has always remained with me.

I can forgive the hospital staff who sent him home thinking he was ok, they did the best with what they had. But it was a wake up call to the realities of politics for me - it wasn't just something on the news any more - it was personal.Cut-backs in health service budgets still send a chill down my spine.

I can't forget. The grief has never really gone away. Every teenager's death brings it back.

Quite who the tears are for now I'm not sure, whether it's for Dean, his friends and family, or those newly grieving, my thoughts are with them - family, friends and classmates.

weather with me

2008-04-15T17:07:00.004+12:00

Rain. Lashing down on the windows, running like a river down the road, drumming out a tattoo on the corrogated iron roof (standard roofing material here). We've had stair-rods, cats and dogs, the works.

It's grey - that dull darkness that ceases to improve after about 8am and then dims quickly back to darkness at the end of the day. Lunchtime traffic has its headlights on, reflecting off the wet surface, dazzling pedestrians attempting to cross the road.

Wind, blustery and billowing, rendering all attempts to use a brolly useless without an inelegant imitation of Mary Poppins being likely.

My inner Brit looks out of the window and thinks 'November...'

But this is Auckland. I guess I'll need a waterproof over my t-shirt, just as well I'm wearing sandals, bare feet dry so much quicker!

wairua

2008-04-07T17:45:00.002+12:00

Here is something I read this week that I'd like to share with you...

Wairua [Spirit]

Power of the Spirit
- the spark of godliness in each human being
- each is unique
- Mauri [life force] is in all things - animate and inanimate

Spiritual Powers
- Spirit of giving
- Caring for others
- Creating firm relationships

Spiritual Communications
- Every language carries its own spirit
- Every language is precious
- Language must be spoken to be alive

Spiritual Identity
- Land, people and universe are one
- Spirit of the land is in the person

Spiritual Universe
- The source of all energy in the universe is one
- Exploring and discovering is a spiritual experience.

from "Toku Rangitiratanga Na Te Mana-Mātauranga - Knowledge and Power Set Me Free..." by Tilly Reedy in 'Weaving Te Whāriki' Ed. Joce Nuttal 2003.

Wow.

Even more 'wow' is that this was found in one of my set texts for Early Childhood Education training. It comes from a chapter explaining the Māori origins of the national curriculum for early childhood in Aotearoa New Zealand.

When I first read the national curriculum document I was struck by the amount of resonance with between it and the material covered by the Britain YM Quaker Youthworker course. The more I learn about the Māori principles that underlie it the more I find in common between them and Quakerism, Tilly's summary above wouldn't look amiss in our Faith and Practice.

I think it encapsulates my view of the Spirit rather nicely, there's nothing there I disagree with or even wibble over and as yet I haven't come up with anything missing. Maybe I will if I think about it long enough but for now it will do rather nicely - thank you Tilly.

memories

2008-03-31T15:40:00.001+13:00

Over the last decade I’ve had cause to think several times about how disproportional the influence of our childhood experience is in terms of our general life experience. In researching one of my assignments on hauora/wellbeing and identity of infants and toddlers I’ve come across several articles which emphasize the importance of those early years and the effects on the rest of our lives.

It must be said it’s been the later childhood years that have stood out for me as being influential in terms of how I still interpret the world and the people in it, but then whilst my memories date back to being 2yrs old I can’t with any confidence date anything earlier than that, so who knows!

When my godson reached the age of two it made me wonder what experiences he was now having that he would remember in years to come. I’ve come back to that thought again and again since, especially in terms of what impact I have on the lives of the children around me. I guess I should ask him!

I was really surprised to discover some years ago that a son of family friends had lived with us in his last year of school when I was a small child. I had no recollection of it whatsoever, it explained why Mum always seemed to think I knew Adam when I scarcely remembered having met him, altho’ I have plenty memories of his youngest sister.

So how come I can’t remember him living with us for several months but can still remember, from that same year I think, playing ball with a little boy at a campsite in Cornwall? I could even describe the ball, the angle of the hill, the tent (borrowed for the occasion), the nightmare I had one night and the rubbery smell of the lilo to you.

I remember realising that being at the downhill end of a catch game was much harder work than being at the top; especially given my lack of catching ability… maybe that seminal moment is why I remember it? Note to future self – always stand at the uphill end. The years have shown that improving my catching skills didn’t seem to occur to me, hey ho.

Strange things memories and their lasting effects...

reflective writing

2008-03-25T16:40:00.002+13:00

Sorry about the lack of input here for a while - I was down in Auckland for 3 weeks on my first practicum placement working at a day care centre for 2-5yr olds. To say it was all consuming is somewhat of an understatement! Talk about exhausted...

It was an incredibly steep learning curve for me and my practicum partner Liz. I think I probably learned as much about how I don't want to practice as teacher as how I do, it was certainly a wake up call as to how much the sector can vary. There were some amazing people working there though who were incredibly supportive and made me feel like part of the team which helped balance out those who made me feel invisible.

As part of our practicums we're supposed to reflect on our own beliefs and values regarding early childhood education for our portfolios. Addressing why we think the way we do, what has influenced that - be it our upbringing, schooling, cultural background, personal parenting experience etc etc. It was one of those things where the more you thought about it the more you came up with, it seemed endless at times and if I wrote reflections on all the things I came up with I'd have a very fat portfolio and no time to write my assignments!

My associate teacher commented on how I must've done reflective writing before - well, I guess 18yrs of journalling and/or blogging has mostly been reflective writing! I think being a Quaker encourages a lot of reflection on my beliefs and values, and then there's 18mths of counselling, 7yrs of writing incident reports in a Steiner setting (where every last detail was deemed important) oh and English Literature & Language O & A levels where my poor teachers dragged descriptive writing out of me on a weekly basis... yup I guess it's fair to say I've done reflective writing before!

lost wellies

2008-02-23T12:41:00.003+13:00

Well they aren't on the front steps, by the back door, on the deck nor, as far as I can tell, are they in the shed - however that could take serious exploration into dubious territory to be completely eliminated from inquiries. It's got the modern equivalent of those areas on maps marked 'here be dragons' - you know someone must have been there once upon a time to know that, but they certainly didn't hang around to plot out the details. Just dropped whatever it was and ran...

Whilst Cammi will scoff any food left unguarded for more than 3 seconds she isn't partial to footwear so I can't even blame her...yet. I'll think of a way to do so eventually I'm sure.

So, wrapped up in waterproofs and boots several sizes too big for me I unsteadily headed off to feed the chooks this morning all the while reminded of a photo somewhere of me aged about 2yrs old standing in Dad's hiking boots by our front door. Being someone who has always had an uncanny ability to fall over my own feet in the right-sized shoes (or none) I am completely in awe of the ability of small children to run around in dress-up boots and shoes waaay too big for them without wodges of cottonwool stuffed into the toes. Maybe it's because they have yet to assume that they can't that they still can?

I wonder how many things in life we pass by because we aren't willing to try out something that looks too big for us, and how many we make harder for ourselves because we don't spend that extra time looking for something that fits better?!

Tebbit test

2008-02-12T11:52:00.000+13:00

Well it became apparent on Friday that I had passed the Kiwi equivalent of the Tebbit Test when I found myself startling the dog by crying out 'yes!' as yet another England wicket fell. Whereas Chris, who has lived here longer and is half Kiwi to boot sat glumly at the Cake Tin bemoaning the dire state of play and resorting to texting me in search of commiseration...

To be honest I suspect much of the difference between us lies with the fact that he is an England cricket fan and I'm really a TMS one! 'Tis a sad state of affairs for me that I have to rely on Aggers popping into the Radio Sport NZ commentary box from time to time for anything like a taste of it but it's definitely better than nothing - I'm holding out hope for the return tour later in the year for a real dose.

England's cause - in terms of me being on their side that is, not their cricketing - is not helped by them fielding a side I hardly recognise (due to said sad lack of TMS over the last 2 years...) whereas the Blackcaps I can mostly recognise by sight let alone name having joined Chris at the Cake Tin several times when still living in Welly.

But probably the main reason why I'm not really that upset by England losing (other than being suitably horrified at the general lack-lustre performance) is that I've never really minded that much, which given the state of English cricket over the years I've been keeping track of it is probably just as well. It proved good training for moving to Scotland too... they take glorious in defeat to new levels in most sport!

In my book life is too short to have my happiness relying on the ability of 11 men running (or not, as the case may be...) up and down a pitch - but being able to listen to ball by ball commentary has brightened many a long day stuck inside .

Two more hours to go until the second ODI at Hamilton... who knows what revelations today will bring!

early learning

2008-01-29T16:33:00.000+13:00

First day back at Kindy today - the children and I spent most of the morning re-learning where things were as the teachers had reorganised the layout over the holidays.

There is now a pianist on the staff so the piano is more prominant, the 'science' and 'art' areas have been swapped over and the blocks are now in a more 'protected' area - ie no longer on the main route through the building and less likely to be disturbed/knocked over by enthusiastic passers by. The outdoor play area has changed in preparation for total renovation.

Of course there were new children who'd moved up from afternoon kindy too.

It was fascinating watching how the children adapted to the new layout/routines, who stuck to old favourite activities/play things despite their new location and those who stuck to the same location but used the newly located resources, plus of course the adventurous types who'll give anything new looking a whirl no matter where/what it is! It was also a salutary lesson to see how I worked with it too! The new teacher was obviously a big draw - the sandpit was the place to be today. It was reassuring for me though to have some of my usual hangers-on seek me out at various times through the morning and want to sit next to me at mat time - it's nice not to be forgotten about over the long summer holidays!

I had very mixed feelings when a girl came over to me to show off the dress-up dress she was wearing. I suspect, given how shyly she approached, that she had been told to come and show me. It was pink, frilly, sparkly, with a smocked top and a tutu-like skirt. Basically something I would never have been seen dead in at any age. It grates against every anti-stereotyping, tomboy bone in my body. Yet I had created this thing. The top had been donated, the skirt material bought by a staff member - all they needed was someone with a sewing machine to put the two together.... as I sat up til midnight last night finishing off the sparkly trimmings I pondered on the irony of me literally losing sleep to finish it ready for the first day back.

But whether I like it or not some little girls want to be stereotype little girls, they like - even love - pink, they like dressing up as princesses ready for the ball or parties - however as in real life there's a distinct shortage of prince charmings around to court them! I saw that dress on at least four different girls this morning, each time I winced and yet at the same time felt pleased that something I had created was being used and had fun with.

As I embark on my studying (I'm classing this blog post as thought processing rather than procrastination...) it's been good to have such a reminder of how my own values affect my practice and attitudes to teaching. I know if there was only one frilly frock in the dress-ups it would get fought over and that having none at all is not the right solution to that no matter how much I'd prefer it! I can appreciate how easy it is to get stuck into a routine of what activities and people are comfortable to be around. I didn't push a single child on a swing today which must be a first and today was probably the first time I've hung out with the 'girly girls' altho' we were playing a pirate memory game it has to be admitted... well it was a step towards their world, but I don't think I'm up to bathing dollies and playing house just yet. And I think the dress-up corner needs some Bob the builder/Wendy dungarees....

priveledged

2008-01-21T20:34:00.000+13:00

Well today was my first day of school.... again. I started back at uni, a mere 15 1/2yrs after graduating last time. I wasn't a very diligent student student first time round it has to be admitted and I'm far from being born for academia so it was with some trepidation that I arrived this morning in the pouring rain. Thanks Sue for the lift - at least I didn't have to worry about getting there on time!

We started with in introduction to what a pōwhiri is and how it would be conducted. I'd expected to be in a minority on several fronts whilst on this course but finding out that those of us who had attended a pōwhiri before were well outnumbered by those who hadn't came as a surprise to me. Especially given that most there were Kiwis! So silent thoughts of thanks were offered up for the Triennial organisors for their pōwhiri and both Pukepoto School and Te Tari Puna Ora o Aotearoa (Kaitaia) for letting me be part of their Noho Marae (residential event on a Marae).

The feeling of being somewhat ahead of the game slightly increased as all the waiata we were to learn (and of course sing at the appropriate points of the actual ceremony) I already knew from volunteering at kindy - including the A, E, I, O, U song (ah-ay-ee-oh-oo) which I'd heard being done rock'n'roll style just days before at the Wellington Soundshell! (don't panic - we just sang that to warm up!). I had worried when applying that being an overseas student without the benefit of having grown up here would be a disadvantage - as I sat there wincing at the Librarian's pronunciation of Te Whāriki each time he said it (aprox Tay Faahr-iki and most definitely not Tee Fa-reekie!) I began to realise just how priviledged I've been over the last four years to have those around me who have taken the time, and given me the opportunities, to learn about tikanga Māori and Te Reo.

One of the e-journals we were set to find during our Library introduction course turned out to be co-written by Sue who I'm staying with. In the WebCT session we were somewhat put on the spot to give our response to a statement on the message board and I found myself using terminology I hadn't really realised I'd assimilated - I'm pretty sure that came from tea-table discussions with Elizabeth and not the pre-course reading I'd done! The universe smiles on me once more....

When for some random reason (as happens with technology - gigo is a dirty lie....) several of us found our online ids and passwords didn't work on the library system (even though they worked everywhere else...) it was suggested it could be linked to whether we'd got our matric-cards or not yet - some had, some hadn't - 'so much for that working theory' I quipped having been talking about that very thing in the car that morning with Sue... blank looks from those I was sitting with, ah well - I'm pretty sure my head start will fizzle out pretty quickly once we've got going. In the meantime it's reassuring to think that if I can remember things from passing conversations then I've a reasonable hope of retaining information actually studied.

So apart from all the ways in which the universe has conspired to make even being on the course possible (which are multitudinous - many thanks to all those earthly beings who have made this possible - you know who you are - and to the spirit behind them) I am feeling extremely grateful right now for all that has put me in a position to start studying with a lot more confidence than I had felt 12hrs ago!

time...

2008-01-17T14:27:00.000+13:00

...seems to be a recurring theme on this blog; from losing track or the lack of it and the rapidity of its passing to the bizarreness of timewarp experiences...

The end of one year and the start of the next invariably brings about reflection on the year gone by, how life has changed in the last 12 months, 2, 3, 5, 10 years. It seems to be becoming a habit to look back and realise there is no way I could have predicted even last year quite where I would be in life now 12 months down the line, let alone from 5 years ago! As for this time next year? Who knows...

Four years ago I was at the FWCC Triennial in Auckland (16th-25th Jan '04), an event that dramatically changed my life and I think it's fair to say the lives of several of those who were around me. Little did we know then just how intertwined some of our lives would become over the next few years with WGYF and the blossoming of the YF community here in Aotearoa NZ. This weekend I'll be at the wedding of Thomas who was part of both the Triennial and WGYF crowd - looking back his relationship with Rhea seems to be one of the few constants twixt then and now in our lives and them marrying about the only thing we might have been able to predict with any degree of accuracy!

A couple of days ago I visited my cousin George who moved to Wellington a couple of months after I moved north. Last time I'd seen him was when travelling around post-Triennial and I stayed with him in Bangkok where he used to live. He had yet to meet his now wife Vicky and their baby daughter Amelia was a hypothetical pipe-dream. We've never seen much of each other over the years due to us tending to live in different countries but I can remember him being in nappies and various childhood holidays spent together. It's really nice having someone here who has been part of my life since I was four and has not just met but is part of the family I grew up with. The passage of time has given us far more in common in life then we ever had as children.

So yes, if you hadn't worked it out already, I'm back in Welly again - just for a few days, catching up with old friends (and new) before the wedding. Then it's up to Auckland and the first of the on-campus weeks of my course.... eeek! No doubt the year will be gone before I know it and I'll be writing another post wondering just where the year went.... for those of you who had expected/hoped for a christmas missive I'm afraid that yet again that fell foul of the chaos that is the end of the Kiwi year. Getting back here from the UK a week after the last posting date for Europe & the Americas didn't help it must be said and writing a Christmas letter in October so did not figure on my itinerary. Then of course once back there's the wind up of the academic year, the planning of and going to Summer Gathering, the chaos of the festive season itself and before I know it it's mid January... maybe I should just go for midwinter instead! Theoretically I should have more time then, and no doubt an essay to avoid writing!

Fran was telling me last night about a friend's blog post where she answered 40 questions about herself and published her answers for last year too, like Fran I'm not sure I'd publish it all online but having seen just how radically my life has changed in each of the last five years I'm curious to give it a go and repeat it each year - if I can find the time that is!

rewind...

2007-12-15T10:52:00.000+13:00

I've just written my report for STAC (a nice Quaker trust who gave me funding) about the Spiritual Friendships course I went on at Woodbrooke. I know I've been pretty slack at blogging lately (1 phoneline/internet connection between 4 of us with 2 of us also trying to do Summer Gathering planning - yes, I know, again - doesn't make for much internet leisure time!) so this is a bit of a cut and paste job... my apologies to those who've already heard most of this before!

The idea of attending this course originally came up because Sarah wanted to do a Woodbrooke course that would be useful for the YF community here, I was to go with her as a support person/elder. Having looked at the Woodbrooke programme for when we would be in the UK and being mindful of the various current issues this one seemed to fit the bill nicely. Then of course Sarah had the most horrendous first trimester-plus-a-bit I've ever come across and to cut a long story short I ended up going alone!

So I attended the course very mindful that in effect I was there because of the leadings of others. That awareness, I think, changed my approach to the course - instead of just participating for my own benefit I was constantly 'seeing it through many eyes', looking for that something that would translate across the globe and help us work towards us building on our strengths as a YF community and to our place and contribution to the wider YM.

Very quickly, despite my still considerably jetlagged state, I realised that apart from the facilitator I was probably the most experienced member of the group in terms of 'spiritual friendships'. I think I am right in thinking that I was also the only one present who had come to Quakerism as a child and had had the benefit of working my way through many Quaker events for young people and then Young Friends which went a long way to explain the imbalance in experience.

Being with a group of predominantly 'older' Friends (I think about 4 of the 10 of us were under 60 and I was the youngest) gave me an extremely valuable insight into this group which is predominant in Friends both sides of the world. I learned not only from those present but what our facilitator shared of others' similar stories. Those who become convinced Friends at 40-60+ yrs of age are aften 'refugees' from other churches and faiths, there is often a lot of hurt, anger and pain associated with their past associations and an instinctive lack of trust, a sense of vulnerablity and an unwillingness to put themselves in a position where they percieve that they may be hurt again. Many have left their previous churches because of disagreements over doctorine, having been told that they are 'wrong' in their beliefs/opinions/questioning and in some cases that they are damned, condemned to hell etc. Such veherment rejection and condemnation unsurprisingly takes its toll on people.

As a result we spent a lot of time talking about building trust in spiritual relationships, setting boundaries and a 'framework for friendship'. For me this was very familiar as it would be to anyone who has been to Link Groups, Summer School, JYF camp or similar. Concepts such as only sharing what has been said with permission, 'what's said in the group stays in the group', listening attentively rather than thinking about what you wish to say, taking it in turns and not interupting, everyone's contribution being valued and accepted etc, I realised I had come to take for granted over the last 25 years. For several present though they were new, challenging and liberating. At this point I started to understand more what some of the older Friends had meant when they had told YFs at Yearly Meeting that YFs had a lot to offer, and why that was so.

Joycelin Dawes, our facilitator, introduced us to Martin Buber's concept of a 'space that is neither I nor Thou but a place where 'The Other' is present between and amongst I and Thou, there are fluid, and respectful, boundaries and creative possibility.' - ie introducing the 'spiritual' aspect of the friendships. She had started her work some years ago with what she called 'barefoot befriending' - training people going out into the community to be a supportive friendly presence, not counsellors or advisors but simply to befriend, listen to and support those isolated and in need. She realised that whilst this met many needs it was designed to be one way although many befrienders found the experience rewarding it could be draining and something more was needed to support their needs. In exploring this and using similar techniques in other settings she realised there was scope for bringing into her work a spiritual dimension - the 'spiritual friendships' we were building during the course drew on, amongst other things, a combination of 'worship sharing', 'creative listening', co-counselling and of course any other friendship. I think all of us felt throughout the course that there was a sense of 'gatheredness' to our sharing similar to that of a deep Meeting for Worship.

Given that we spent several days on the subject I don't think I can really do it justice in one blog post! Maybe I'll come back to it again some time...

Quite where I take this now I am still unclear about. As far as the YF community itself is concerned I think we need to appreciate more what we already have. Friends on the course were stunned to hear that much of what they were experiencing was a common experience for many young people and YFs around the world.

At the end of the course several spoke of a sense of loss and grief at us parting and wondered how they could possibly convey that to their Meetings let alone build up such friendships again. My Summer School kids back in the UK were faced with that aged 11! My suggestion was to look to the younger members of their Meeting who have been to camps, Junior Yearly Meetings etc as they know only too well the blues of going 'back to reality'. I have heard older Friends within our YM who have spent terms at Pendle Hill and Woodbrooke speak of that same sense of loss and difficulty in building up again the kind of deep spiritual friendships that had become part of their daily life there. YFs are not alone in feeling isolated and not understood within their Meetings!

For our physical YF community at camp perhaps there is more we could do. At JYF camps it is the norm to go over such ground rules like the 'framework to friendship' that we drew up on the course - perhaps there is scope for doing likewise at YF Camp rather than assuming everyone takes it as read, we have far fewer formal sessions outwith our Meeting for Worship for Business which is probably why it currently doesn't happen. Someone on the course wistfully said how they wished all friendships could be on such terms as we'd set out - taking a step towards such a reality at camp is possibly something to consider.

I have come back with far more questions than answers and a much greater appreciation of the experiences I've had.In terms of the YM it is comforting to know that it's never too late to become part of such friendships, one member of our group was in his 80s! (so those 'TOW's have no excuse)

I also know that this is something others have to take a lead on within the YF community rather than me, I really am getting too old to be a YF! I hope that way will open to take this discussion further and bear fruit. Time for those of us with the JYF/YF/etc experience to go out and be patterns and examples again methinks =)

power

2007-11-25T21:46:00.001+13:00

At 8am this morning the power went off for the day - planned maintenance work was required to the major powerline so the whole area was blacked out (if you can call it a blackout in glorious sunshine!)

The first thing that hit me was how quiet the house suddenly was, no water pump, no fridge humming, no computer fans whirring - all the background noises that are so constant you stop noticing them until they aren't there any more.

Apart from the sudden realisation at 8.05am that I'd not made my toast (but I still got my porridge, thank heavens for gas hobs!) I didn't really find myself that inconvenienced but it did make me realise just how reliant upon electricity we are. It's amazing how many things require it, especially when your water supply is pumped to the house by an electric pump! We could have sat in the car to listen to the radio, or used my dinky radio with earphones (which I only remembered about afterwards) but as Elizabeth had caught enough of the news headlines to hear that John Howard was no the longer Aussie PM (yay!!!) we just cheerfully waited to hear more later.

Later... not just the radio news & the tv news but the washing machine, dishwasher, checking emails, showers, lights, the toilet cisterns refilling instead of using buckets, filling the jug (kettle) from the tap and boiling it, baking potatoes in the oven, the fridge getting back to temperature and the light going on again when the door opened...

Between us we gardened, knitted, sewed, read, made coffee on the stove and boiled water in a pan for tea, we went for a windswept walk/run on the beach and then gradually de-sanded ourselves across the floors and furniture as no matter how hard you try to brush it off it is never quite enough. It wasn't that different from any other Sunday really, we wondered though just how different other people's days might have been from the norm, and maybe it was a good thing to have had no power if it meant children played outside more and people appreciated more what a luxury having electricity on demand is and what alternatives we need in place to get by without it.

home is where my accent is?

2007-11-19T19:16:00.000+13:00

okay.... so I'm back in Kaitaia and Mim's playing 'Last of the Summer Wine' on the cello... Mum & Dad are in Scotland looking at my pictures of the Holme & Colne Valleys that I'm slowly uploading from Aotearoa NZ and they reckon they feel disorientated?! At least at kindy today I wasn't the only one jetlagged, one of the staff returned from Europe about 3 weeks ago and two of the kids had their first day back today after a trip to see their grandparents in England. It was somewhat surreal overhearing a conversation in the outdoor play area about John Lewis' in Tooting Beck! (not between the boys I hasten to add, it was their mum and Clare!)

It is good to be home again it must be said - and not least because all the travelling has stopped. Much as it was wonderful to see everyone I'd had enough of traipsing around after about 2 weeks never mind 5! I felt like I was getting information overload, a bit like travelling as a tourist in many ways only instead of learning about places it was catching up on everyone's news and desperately trying to remember who'd moved/got married/had kids/split up before I totally put my foot in it... thanks so much to those who put me up/put up with me, especially when jetlag got the better of me.

For various reasons advanced planning didn't really happen which meant I missed seeing a fair few people I'd've liked to but it also led to a few serendipitous encounters I'd never have thought to add to my itinery had I been a bit more thorough in advance. It did stike me more than once that a decidedly kiwi attitude to travelling did seem to be prevailing - maybe I'm becoming more naturalised to this place than I thought. Bonnie did say she thought I sounded like Elizabeth when I arrived back at Kindy this morning... given the chameleon nature of my accent and the fact that I did a whistlestop tour of all previous major UK influences (Yorkshire, Somerset, Lancashire, Newcastle & Edinburgh - in terms of people if not actual locations this trip) I'm quite impressed with myself for obviously slipping back into my current 'norm' so quickly!

So, it's back to sunhats, sunblock, Ninety Mile Beach, homemade lemonade (fruit from the garden), Whittakers chocolate... and in case anyone is getting too jealous - mozzies and sandfly bites too!

world in pictures

2007-11-09T06:29:00.001+13:00

I've been thinking about this one for a while... when I was at Pardshaw and we were walking down from the crags I remembered a conversation I'd had with Derek several years ago doing the same walk.

I was commenting on his lack of camera given that he used to go everywhere with a rather fancy camera and sizeable bag of accessories, his reply was that he realised he felt the need to stop viewing everything through the lens and take part in what was around him more. Recollections came to me of (I assume) Japanese tourists at some beautiful viewpoint in the Highlands of Scotland trooping off their coach videoing everything in sight and then getting straight back on again. They hadn't really taken in anything of the majesty of the place, absorbed the sheer energy of the mountains or even noticed the sparkling dew-laden spiders webs at their feet. Some had posed for photos - but next to the bus!!! Um hello, dramatic scenery as a backdrop or a coach - they chose the coach, whatever. That conversation made me think a lot about my own photography and I found myself taking fewer photos when with people doing things instead putting my energy into being with them and taking part. Exceptions were when lazing around in free time at Summer School - a perfect opportunity to get some sneaky portrait shots.

But more recently I've become aware of how my increasing interest in photography has made me look at the world in a different way. I'm not constantly looking at the world through a viewfinder but I do find I see beauty (and photographic opportunities) in unexpected and everyday places far more often. I've always noticed things like the way light plays on the leaves of trees but I find myself now often struck by the way it hits buildings, I see details I would have previously passed by (often thinking 'Jim could make a picture out of that' and not quite managing to capture what I know he could achieve!). I've become far more aware of the world around me but I've realised as I've come towards the end of my trip back to the UK I've only got people photos where I've consciously made the effort to get them or had more relaxed time in which to do so. So images of most of the more fleeting encounters are recorded solely in my mind - probably not the most reliable of media but at least it won't become technologically obsolete!

the passage of time

2007-11-02T05:02:00.000+13:00

I'd forgotten just how early it starts getting dark once the clocks have changed! Ok so I'm now north of the Border (actually in the Borders as it happens) which makes a difference and on the East Coast too... so with two lots of clocks changing (Aotearoa NZ Summer time started a week before I left and the UK's just changed this w/e) on top of jetlag my sleeping pattern still doesn't know if I'm coming or going. Ah well, only another week to go and it all goes topsy turvy again =/

I've spent the entire time I've been over here feeling as though I'd only been gone a couple of months or so rather than two years - I've been able to just pick up where I left off with so many people, but maybe that's got as much to do with the people I've stayed in touch with - those with whom it would be difficult have maybe already fallen by the wayside? Hard to tell... But the passage of time has been somewhat more obvious in the last 24 hours. I was greeted at Dunbar station by my godson Morgan running towards me at full pelt for a big hug as he always used to; however he's now a big tall 6 year old and picking him up and swinging him round wasn't really an option any more - especially carrying a full backpack! Ruaridh is now just about the size Morgan was last time I'd seen them and they now have a little sister I'd never met before... so those of you who keep an eye on Flickr will no doubt be treated to numerous photos of them before long =)

home and away

2007-10-18T05:24:00.001+13:00

Harakeke in Dean House? Cabbage trees in Holmfirth? Palms in Thongsbridge? Ok so pampas grass in Honley is nothing new (oh so 7o's...) but since when did the Holme Valley go sub tropical? Given the icy wind blowing today I remain somewhat homesick and unconvinced.

The sign at the bottom of the road here says 3 1/2 miles to Holmfirth - having taken a somewhat circuitous route I reckon I walked at least 8miles today meandering round the lanes and footpaths between Honley and Holmfirth vaguely following old bus routes (the old 'long way round') and distant memories. I walked paths I've not walked in well over 20 years, lanes that I was reasonably convinced were heading in the right direction but wasn't entirely sure where they came out and followed the old rule of thumb that if you can see either Castle Hill or Holme Moss you can't get lost!

Walking along the footpath from Miry Lane to Station Road I was getting decidedly confused though - a case of not being able to work out where in the wood I was for the trees - and more to the point a new housing estate that I just couldn't figure out the location of. Finally I saw our old house ahead of us... chuffin' 'eck, thinks me, they've built here too? Quickly followed by "chuffin' 'eck????" Blimey probably haven't even thought that since I left school....

Much has changed, and yet some things are surprisingly the same - I don't think Wagstaffs have changed their window dressing style since Mum was buying us childrens shoes there in the 1970's. There seems a certain poetic justice in Nigel Hinchcliffe's old shop now being called 'Your Nuts' but it seems sad that in the home of postcards there was a decidedly limited selection in the Tourist Information Office and many of the images that were there (apart from the historic saucy Bamforth's ones for which fair enough) I remember from the '80's.

It's nice to see it all again but I don't ever miss it.

update - there's a thundering great big harakeke plant outside Huddersfield Bus Station too. Huddersfield Bus Station? Honestly, I ask you.... mind you they haven't half tarted up the inside of it too since I was at Greenhead. And is it me or is the piazza smaller than it used to be, or is it just that the trees have grown in the last um, ah twenty years.... yeah ok, I get it now.

food miles and whatnot

2007-10-17T01:13:00.000+13:00

Well the world has gone tospy turvy again - I've been shopping... Nairn's oatcakes! unsweetened soy(a)milk! And wait for it... Oatibix!!! They taste just like I remember Weetabix tasting (and for you Kiwis yes I do mean Weetabix not Weetbix!) but they are wheat-free and thus Anna-friendly, woo hoo! They even look the right shape and colour.

I've had a few food miles/climate change conversations since getting back to the UK; when looking at the wine shelf I automatically looked for New Zealand wine and was feeling a bit disgruntled not to see any when Mike started telling me how they only bought European wines now because of the food miles (or in this case drink miles!) ah yes, hemisphere change.... It was great to be able to pick up a box of oatcakes with a clear conscience - sure they've travelled a bit further than the few miles across town as when I lived in Edinburgh but one heck of a lot less distance than the boxes that sit on New World's shelves in Wellington. Also one heck of a lot less distance than the rice crackers and corn thins I usually eat at home that come across the ditch from Australia - but I've yet to find a locally produced alternative so I've tried to cut down my consumption of them instead!

But when talking about carbon footprints etc it's hard to escape the fact that I have chosen to live not only on the oppposite side of the world to most of my close family but even at the opposite end of the island from many of my friends. Does my relatively low day-to-day carbon footprint balance out flying all the way around the world?

I went back to look at simon's blog post on climate change wondering if I could join his 'chain' but decided as my current living situation isn't exactly standard it would probably stuff up the next person to do it properly... but for what it's worth here is what I can answer! (you'll need to read simon's post for this to make best sense)

Good
1. use public transport - well as a non-driver this has pretty much always been my main mode of transport! I try to avoid situations where people have to make car journeys especially for my benefit and fit in with what they are doing anyway - thus improving their carbon footprint by taking a passenger =) I also try to avoid making domestic flights when I can, which has meant many an hour spent on Intercity Coaches....
2. Food purchasing - well I don't do very much of that to be honest but I do do a lot of the cooking and so try to avoid waste, processed foods and use as much of the fruit and veg from the garden as possible
3. Electricy provider - I don't think we have a choice where we are but at least in NZ you know that it isn't nuclear! I try to remember to switch lights off, use short cold cycles on the washing machine (and avoid half loads), never use the tumble drier, no excessive showering and don't use a haridryer but have a dilema with computers as if they get turned off they sulk so they tend to sit on stand-by thus meaning they still work for longer...
4. Compost and rubbish - well between the compost heap, the dog/chooks, recycling and the woodstove we produce remarkably little rubbish. I filled just one bin bag in the 10 weeks William & Elizabeth were away!
5. Low energy lightbulbs - well we got double vouchers for those recently as I got a set sent too so we now have no excuse! But do you replace straight away or replace when the old ones burn out? After all then you have to dispose of the old ones...
6. Freezer - we've got them, they're running so might as well keep them as full as possible as that way they're more efficient (and it means garden produce etc doesn't got to waste when there's a glut)
7. Buying secondhand etc - been doing that for years! It's not often I buy new clothes (other than underwear!) and things tend to get worn til they fall apart or get sent back to another charity/op shop. I've tried to be really good with not buying books - there are libraries and friends bookshelves after all - and have got reasonably good at it! Lack of funds does help that though...
8. Economy 7 - errr, don't think that's around
9. Improving the energy efficiency of buildings - not within my scope beyond opening and closing windows/doors/curtains!
10. Heating - we have one room that gets heated well in winter, so we all sit in it! Otherwise why do you think NZ developed merino wool and so many polyprops and fleece products...

Bad
1. car use - see above, my main ouch is air travel not car travel and I'm trying to keep that down. (once I've got back home that is!)
2. supermarket shopping - we don't have many alternatives to Pak n Save (without driving great distances!) but I do try to get what I can at the health food shop, but that's not much.
3. Heating - as with many NZ houses we just have a woodburning stove, using kindling from the garden and the logs I think come from the farm, it being fast growing wood that needed to be cut back to keep the pastures clear. We probably could burn less at times but the psychological effect of a good blaze vs a smouldering pile of embers is a hard one to overcome!
4. solar power etc - it's on the long term to do list...
5. freezer - see above re efficiency and garden gluts! I was reading the other day about someone building a 'cold store' room which sounded remarkably like my Granny's old pantry with large stone slabs in theory, the thing is in a north facing wooden house in Northland no-where is cold in summer so it would take a lot of energy and effort to build something that stayed cool... unless we used the creek I guess but that seems a little extreme to keep the milk cold!
6. tumble drier - I hate using them, very occassionally used it in Wellington when B&B visitor numbers and bad weather conspired against me but can't even remember last using one for clothes.
7. house - I currently live with others and am quite happy doing so, in fact I don't really like living alone... Space, hmmm... it's remarkable how little personal stuff/space I can get used to living with on a day to day basis but then I do have the luxury of large shared space. Hard one to call for me these days.

So how about you?

a decent cuppa!

2007-10-16T22:20:00.000+13:00

Finally a decent cup of tea! This is not a slur on the tea making abilities of anyone I've stayed with since leaving Kaitaia but on the lousy tasting water. I'm now back in the Holme Valley, where I grew up, where water tastes like it ought to and has just come down off the Pennines rather than through several Thames water treatment plants. Nor does it leave a hard water scum on the inside of the cup/kettle/your internal organs! Of course it's great to see Jon & Rachel again as well as drink their tea....

So where've I been since Woodbrooke... a couple more days in Brum catching up with old F/friends then down to Oxfordshire to see family. If it wasn't for the fact that my cousin now has two children aged 6 and 4 that I've never met before I wouldn't really have noticed the passing of the years since I'd seen any of them - more years than others in some cases (um, like 6?). So far with everyone I've caught up with since being back in the UK it's been like I've never been away, they've been the friendships where time doesn't matter and we've just picked up where we left off regardless of how much, or in most cases how little, contact we've had in between. I guess the time when I'll really notice that I've been away will be when I finally reach Edinburgh - a place I saw every day rather than every so often/few years and when I see children I knew well who are now at least two years older.

It's a strange feeling - in some ways I feel very much the visitor passing through but yet it's all so familiar - even the Cotswold villages I'd never been to before that we went for a walk through on Sunday. Of course the trees are in their autumn splendor and what else would you have betwen the fields but ancient hedgerows and dry stone walls? I've got conkers in my pockets again (must remember to leave them here though!) we had ordanance survey maps to follow, Norman churches to visit and Roman roads to drive along. The train north yesterday came over several 19th century high stone viaducts and many a house I've seen has stone rooftiles, rows of terraced houses in brick or stone are commonplace and when I finally get out to find a post office I know I'll see cobbled streets. All so far removed from anything I've lived with for the last two years...

2007-10-11T02:06:00.000+13:00

I'm at Woodbrooke Quaker Study Centre doing a three day course on Spiritual Friendships - there are 10 of us all together which is a nice sized group as it means there's actually time to get to know everyone in matters both temporal and eternal.

One of the things that has really hit me so far is how much I have come to take for granted the experience of meeting people in that sacred space within their everyday protective boundaries and how scary a prospect it is for some people to make such friendships. Someone expressed a fear of having made such a deep connection how do you get over the loss of it when it ends and how do you find the courage to start again with someone/s new?

I remember crying throughout the Meeting for Worship at the end of my first Questabout weekend wondering how on earth it was that I felt closer to those friends I'd made in a weekend than those I'd been at school with for 10 years. I thought of the time I came home from my first Holiday School aged 16, over tired, distraught at leaving everyone behind and being in a foul mood because I felt my parents just didn't understand the heartwrenching sense of loss when the event came to an end. I remember being asked why on earth I wanted to go to more of these things if they left me feeling like this, I'm not entirely sure I'd make a much better job of explaining it now than I could then but I like to think I'd slam fewer doors in the process! I thought back to the many Summer School kids who've told me they live for that one week in the year and the other 51 are just there to be endured.

I also remembered a conversation with Thomas at the end of WGYF, he'd just come back up to the office after watching many a tearful farewell being made down at the buses. We discussed how for us having been reunited with far flung F/friends at WGYF itself we could more easily accept that no matter far apart we may live in everyday life our paths could and would cross again and that that time would pass far quicker than expected, so whilst our farewells were no less heartfelt there wasn't the devastating grief accompanying it. Mind you I suspect the overwhelming sense of relief that we'd got through it all and it was almost time to go home overrode any sense of loss!

So what happened somewhere along the 20 years between that High Flatts Questabout and WGYF, at what point did that understanding creep in? I have to recognise also that many a tearful last night of an event has been as much about not wanting to return to everyday life as not wanting to leave where I was. How many times has the conversation been had on the way home from an event where someone has said 'ah well, back to normality' and it has been pondered as to which is 'normality' that which we've left or that to which we return? And if it's not that which we've left why isn't it and how can we make the rest of life more like it?

I'm not sure that I have the answers to the fears for whom making these kinds of friendships is something new and scary but what I can tell them is that those in their Meetings most likely to understand any such feelings of loss are those who've been on young peoples and Young Friends events. I'm appreciating more and more what an incredible gift those events are as they make such friendships an integral (even normal?) part of life.

shiny new visa =)

2007-10-10T03:05:00.001+13:00

Yay, I'm the very proud and happy possessor of a shiny new visa in my passport. I'd been more than a little apprehensive about whether I was going to be able to return to Aotearoa NZ in November or not given my course doesn't start until January but when I asked the guy at Immigration how soon I could go back his answer was 'Tomorrow if you like!' Well having only just got back to the UK I reckon I'll stay here the planned 5 weeks but it is a huge relief to know for sure - having had conflicting advice given on it before I wasn't 100% convinced it would all work out.

On the train up to Birmingham from London I realised just how much I felt like I'd been holding my breath waiting, how much else had taken a back seat emotionally and mentally - I 've felt like I just haven't had the head space to deal with anything much else for a while now. So I arrived at Woodbrooke feeling decidedly unprepared for the Spiritual Friendships course I'm on and yet that seems to be turning into a blessing as I've arrived with no preconceptions of what we'd be doing and a 'clean sheet' to work on. I came a different train route than I've done in the past so the countryside was unfamiliar territory, but yet familiar. The course so far feels a bit like that too - so much so far is similar to things I've done before yet from a slightly different persepective, a different view of the spiritual landscape and ways of exploring it.

The train came in to Birmingham through Solihull - the place my great great grandparents and family emigrated to Aotearoa New Zealand from in 1879 - it felt somewhat appropriate to be going through there the day I got my visa! So I said a quiet kia ora to the place of my tupuna (ancestors) and reminded myself that no matter how long and tedious my 33hr journey from Sarah's to Sam's had been it knocked the socks off however many weeks the Hereford had taken to get them from Tilsbury to Lyttleton.

huh?

2007-10-10T03:05:00.000+13:00

As we were coming into Auckland Airport I commented on having noticed some time ago their logo bearing a remarkable similarity to the Royal Bank of Scotland one. It has always struck me as being a bit surreal - the whole where am I? thing, especially when arriving from the UK.

So you can imagine why I laughed and pulled out my camera when I arrived at Hong Kong Airport to RBS insignia being plastered all over the airbridges and being greeted by a sign saying 'The Royal Bank of Scotland welcomes you to Hong Kong airport'!

Next stop Heathrow... more than a little closer to Scotland and yet what insignia and adverts adorned their airbridges and walkways? HSBC, ie Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation.

Go figure that one out!

getting there...

2007-10-03T20:16:00.000+13:00

All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go... well as ready as I'll ever be! For the first night since Ryan got here (Friday) someone other than me is on bedtime story duty so I've been busy putting pictures onto a flashstick to bring with me having managed to pack whilst William & Elizabeth took him (and Cammi!) for a walk on the beach.

Am I really ready to go? I don't know - I suspect getting on a plane will be just has hard this time as before although at least I don't have to wait as long to come back. I've packed plenty tissues in my hand luggage anyway just in case!

Unlike the previous two occasions when I've left this country I'm going much further than Oz and I'm leaving in the middle of the night not the morning so I've no idea how much that will help alleviate the jet-lag, but I've got tablets packed for that too... Somehow I need to stay awake in Meeting on Sunday at Friends House London - the presence of sharp elbowed Friends has been requested!

At least when I get there I'm staying with Sam - as Simon said on the phone going straight to another Tailby should lessen the shock to the system. But before I can leave the country I've uni fees to pay and other paperwork to sort out not to mention several other Tailbys to catch up with and a fleece to retrieve in Auckland!

to pack and not to pack

2007-10-01T13:27:00.000+13:00

Aaaarrrrgghhh, where has the time gone???? I've got 2 1/2 days left to sort my stuff out and pack before we head down to Auckland...

Well I've got as much paperwork done as I can and Ryan has gone off to a birthday party with a tub of fudge still cooling and a plate full of pancakes (dropscones/pikelets) so I've the afternoon free to catch up on some headspace, odd jobs around the house and start sorting out clothes into piles of what to wash, take and what to shove back in the drawers... It's great having Ryan to stay but my world starts revolving around Lego, pirates and the 'Grandpa's Slippers/Cardigan/Shorts/Shed' books (in the right order of course!) which is not conducive to packing!

My cunning plan of take a little and bring back a lot is all very well but I seem to be taking over a fair amount not destined to return so it's hard to get my head around what is and what isn't - more piles methinks. Just as well Mim isn't here, her bedroom is going to come in mighty handy =)

It's hard to believe it's two years since I was packing up in Edinburgh - life has changed so much in so many ways since then and in some cases several times! There is absolutely no way in the world that I could have predicted then what I'd be doing in life now (other than perhaps the packing to fly back over to the UK bit!) and similarly I have no real concept as to where I might be in life another two years down the road. I'm presuming I'll be working in an Early Childhood Centre of some description somewhere as I'll need to do at least two years teaching before I can get full registration but that's as far as it goes - altho' I guess that's further than usual!

The last two years have been an amazing adventure full of incredible people and beautiful scenery. My love for this place has deepened beyond measure and I have found friends and whānau in abundance. I feel very blessed to have had this time here and to know I can return - I'm still not entirely sure exactly when until I've got my visa sorted in London but return I can.

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone back in the UK altho' it will be strange to be there as a visitor. Travelling around will no doubt be very much a flashback to my first trip here making my way around f/Friends and family. In two years a lot will have changed - I've missed births, deaths and marriages, no doubt plenty physical changes to places I knew well and I'll be visiting friends in new homes I've never seen before. I wonder how just disconnected I'll feel.

Anyways plenty time to ponder that on the plane journey. For now I'd better go and start sorting my stuff out before my 4 year old friend returns!

zippedee doo dah

2007-09-20T14:26:00.000+12:00

zippedee ay, my oh my what a wonderful day, plenty of sunshine comin' my way, zippedee do dah, zippedy ay =)

No Mr Blue Bird on my shoulder though, just Cammi at my feet, but more importantly an email in my inbox from the University of Auckland offering me a place on their Graduate Diploma in Teaching (Early Childhood Education) starting in January - woo hoo!

Now I need to get all the money and paperwork sorted so I can get a visa to come back here in November, and only a fortnight to go before I pack my bags and head back to the UK for a month, gulp....

It feels like I can finally start getting my head around my trip back to the UK now though, so much of my energy has been going into working out how/when I could come back here that it's very much taken a back seat. I can also now allow myself to get excited about things like having the whole of our family (the grand sum of four of us) together in the same place at the same time for the first time in over 5 years (and I've only been overseas for two of them!), catching up with F/friends and other family, seeing my godson again (who will hopefully still recognise me even is his little brother is unlikely to), meeting various babies born since I left, going on the Spiritual Friendships course at Woodbrooke, going on trains that go faster than buses, having soy milk that doesn't have sugar in it, Provomel chocolate pudding, Engine Shed smoked tofu, being able to stock up on decent sized jars of Marmite (the real thing, not the kiwi version), warm flat beer being normal (and better for being that way)... sadly I won't be able to get a dose of TMS but I dare say I'll survive.

So to anyone I haven't been in touch with yet if you want to see me do get in touch, I've been totally crap and haven't got very organised yet but I do have vague plans and a route northwards worked out! I'll be at Meeting for Worship somewhere in London on Sunday 7th October - any suggestions of where in order to catch up with folk much appreciated! Given I'll be jetlagged having arrived the day before I'm hoping to have to organise as little as possible but would love to catch up with as many folk there as I can =)

Right, what's next on the 'to do' list?

hand of fate?

2007-09-16T15:13:00.000+12:00

I hate having to try to sell myself; please employ me, please give/lend me money, please take me on your course... but right now I'm trying to figure out how to persuade someone to employ someone else and that's even harder! What if I don't make a good enough job of the reference? I've been given no questions to answer just 'he's applied for this job, here's the job description' - gulp.... I'm not sure that me knowing at least one of the decision makers is an advantage here!

I know that I think he'd be great at the job, that it seems tailor made for him and brings together many strands of his life in a way that is reminiscent for me of applying for the WGYF and Resident Friend posts. Maybe there's my answer - those felt very much like spirit-led moves in life, that they were 'meant to be'. If this is the case here it shouldn't matter what I write should it? Or is that a cop out theory?

Ok, I'll go back and have another go at it but this time feeling that god willing he'll get it anyway as his own life can speak for him far better than I can.

But if anyone has any prayers to spare whilst he has his interview on the 27th I'm sure Mike would be grateful!

Ngati Wikitoria

2007-09-12T15:31:00.000+12:00

As has been said many times, especially by us Brits for for whom it is still somewhat of a novelty - even to those of us used to the small world of Quakerdom - Aotearoa New Zealand is a small country. I don't mean in the geographical sense but in terms of people. It is hardly surprising then that the traditional Maori way of greeting involves stating where you are from and who are are related to so that kinship ties and mutual friendships etc can be established. There is a distinct sense of everyone being related to everyone somehow within the Maori community (for better or worse...), the use of aunty, uncle and cousin is a tad different to the European conventions - it's much broader - altho' having not quite got my head around it I'll not try explaining it here!

The tradition of establishing where you connect to has become incorporated to a large extent into Pakeha (non-Maori) culture too - unlike parts of Britain where being asked where you are from, or even 'belong', is usually a sign of you being considered an outsider or comer-in any questioning along such lines here is usually followed by an abridged version of the questioners (British) heritage. Same with many Maori too due to the extent of cross-cultural marriages, a guy I met at the marae down the road is quite proud of his Hebridean ancestry. But as was pointed out on the news lately amidst Nationalists concerns over the number of immigrants - we're all immigrants here, some are just more established than others.

When I lived in Britain not really coming from one place tended to be a disadvantage when such things mattered - there was always too much of somewhere else in me either by parentage or place of birth regardless of where I lived and where I called 'home'. However here I'm starting to realise that it's a bonus. Folk here don't care what other places I may link to, they are more interested in what I have in common with them than what I don't. So my widely spread family have unknowingly aided and abetted me in establishing links to many more places in common with people here - the latest being Yeovil, ok so I can only actually remember having been there once to see Great Uncle Percy and G. Aunty Gwen and it was probably about 25 years ago but what the heck! It's kind of like having three extra bingo cards to play with.

When I joined the school group at the Marae I made sure I'd got my mihi (greeting) brushed up as I knew doing the rounds of those was part of the evenings programme. As it happens the teachers somehow got let off the hook and me with them, part of me was a bit miffed as I'm quite proud of being able to recite my mihi in Te Reo rather than English but I'm still not 100% happy with it so maybe not giving a work in progress wasn't such a bad thing.

Part of my problem goes back to being from 'everywhere and nowhere' - so just which is my mountain? my river? who are my tribe? which is my marae? For the last two I'd borrowed someone elses answer which was Te Haahi Tuuhauwiri (Quakers) and Quaker Acres - the Settlement at W(h)anganui. But having listened to Bruce at the marae and then being back at Te Papa recently I've decided to change that - Ngati Wikitoria, the tribe of Queen Victoria are in effect all those she ruled over (and their descendants) which as Bruce pointed out included them too once the Treaty was signed. Now given my longstanding decidedly republican politics (as in ditch the monarchy as head of state not the USA version!) it does feel a little odd to be aligning myself with Queen Vic but the Treaty was with the crown, not the government, nor the country - no monarch and technically the Treaty becomes invalid. Rats. Ho hum... so until a legal loophole has been discovered I'll shut up and make do with the status quo, sigh.... but Scotland gaining her independance wouldn't muck it up so all is not lost! Anyway, I digress...

So yes, I'm part of Ngati Wikitoria. When in Wellington a couple of weeks ago I took Wee John to see the modern marae at Te Papa, I love that place and took everyone who came to visit me in Welly there. I always rub away at the same point on the Pounamu kaitiaki, one day it'll be all shiny and green! When we were there a guided tour was getting the spiel and something the guide said sank in - the marae at Te Papa Tongawera is for all people, tangata whenua - the people of the land ie Maori, tangata tiriti - the people of the treaty, and all those who have come since... so, I have a marae!

My mountain and river still raise issues for me - at the moment I've plumped for Castle Hill as it rather ambiguously covers both the landmark I grew up with in the Holme Valley and that in Edinburgh on which sits the Quaker Meeting House (oh and the castle!). My river is more tricky - I still dither between the Holme and the Firth of Forth, I can't bring myself to call the cold, grey, uninviting North Sea my moana (sea/ocean) instead and I reckon I'd be pushing it still to say Ahipara Bay, but maybe one day...

in the lap of the gods...

2007-09-03T21:47:00.000+12:00

Well, the interview has been had and it seemed to go ok, not sure what else I could have said to make it go better anyroad...

...so now I wait... hopefully just until the predicticted 'sometime next week' however that relies on the International Office processing the decision a bit quicker than they have everything else so far!

It's been an odd week and a long one - I'm glad to be going home tomorrow, it feels like ages since I left. Wellington felt as though I'd never left in many ways but then the presence or absence of a person or building would throw me (what no Alex?). I'm gradually getting to know my way around Auckland by bus and have had several lightbulb moments where different parts of the city finally click into place as to how they join up. Superb aerial views leaving Welly meant I also got a chance to get my head around just how the land lay beyond the Orongaronga's too having never really explored the Wairarapa. Cool views right up into the Tararua range but best of all stunning views of Ruapehu poking above the clouds all covered in snow (Ruapehu that is, not the clouds) - if you get to see her face you can stay here (allegedly, although I don't think there's a ticky box for that on the Immigration forms) so some gods seem to be on my side at least.

global village

2007-08-28T11:01:00.000+12:00

Last week I had Wee John from NYFSG (a UK Quaker Camp for 11-16yr olds) staying with me, he'd been to Sydney to see Helen (also from NYFSG but her family emigrated to Aussie a few years ago) and had come across to see Aotearoa NZ whilst 'down under' (and whilst Helen had exams or something).

So during the week I took him (ahem, got us a lift...) to the farm where I'd 'taken' Ann & Colin a few months ago as they travelled around after their stint as Resident Friends in Auckland before they returned to Aberdeen.... which is John's 'home' Meeting.

John went from us to Simon (whose parents I live with) in Christchurch - I know they survived the Undy 500 to Dunedin cos I was with Sarah (sister of Simon) in Auckland when she got a text to say they were now in Queenstown presumably in search of snowboarding, and then he was off to Ben & Charlotte's in Wellington... Charlotte stayed with Si & Susie in 2005 just before WGYF, they stayed over here at her parents bach in 2006 and got engaged there (awwww...), Wee John was at their wedding in Edinburgh in September and at NYFSG with them a few weeks ago. As John was arriving at Ben & Charlotte's place last night Ben was on the phone to his mum in Auckland who I'm staying with on my way to Welly - the reason I'm still in Auckland 2 days later than originally planned is I'm meeting Marie tonight at Auckland airport, Marie was staff with me, Susie and Si at NYFSG in 2002, when Wee John was Wee and John R-M was Big!

Got all that??!

Now in October Sarah will be at YFGM in the UK with Alex who was over here for a 15 month long '6mth stay', as will Wee John be and so it goes on.... all interlinked and intertwined like Celtic knotwork. And believe me there's plenty more like that, I haven't even started on who was all at Summer Gathering here this year!

As I've said before and will no doubt say plenty of times again - 6 degrees of separation? Huh, who are you kidding? Throw a few Quakers into the mix and you're down to 2 at the most... By the way if you follow that link you discover that the answer to it all is, of course, 42. And there lies a whole heap of other synchronicities of the last few days which I won't detail here but link the Far North Christian Revival Centres current poster campaign to a six year old in Christchurch , YF dinners and a conversation with Ruth at the farm when I was there with Wee John...

I may be on the other side of the world from the land of my birth but there are times when it really doesn't feel like it as the strands of who knows who in my life seem to become more tightly woven rather than looser.

back again

2007-08-25T16:02:00.000+12:00

No I haven't abandoned my blog, thanks those who asked! My laptop has been poorly bad and is still seriously sulking despite a new battery (again...).

In addition to having unco-operative technology I've spent the last month filling in forms, well that's what it feel like. I've applied to do a Graduate Diploma in Teaching through the University of Auckland next year - and before anyone takes me to task about all those times I've said I'd never want to (a) teach or (b) live in Auckland I hasten to add it's for Early Childhood Education and studying extramurally (which would mean I'd get to live up in Kaitaia still).

So why? Well funnily enough that's what several of the said forms have been asking (both those applying for the course and grovelling for funding loans and grants). I don't think it would have ever occurred to me as a 'career' option in the UK but the more I've learned about Early Childhood Eduction here the more it appeals. The national curriculum 'Te Whariki' translates as the weaving, it is the weaving together of many strands of a childs life and development in the context of their own community surroundings. It is holistic, it has emphasis on the spiritual development of the child and my pidgin anthroposophy could finally come in handy again (about seven years later how appropriate!). When reading through the curriculum I realised it was covering so many of the issues addressed by the Quaker Youthworker course I worked through in fits and starts, what's more as with Quaker youthwork the children are all there through choice (albeit parental/carers) rather than law so there's often a higher level of commitment and enthusiasm supporting the childs presence.

There are a number of Quakers involved here in ECE, both delivering it at a grassroots level and in the training for it, I guess it's not that surprising really!

So I'm waiting to hear if I've got an interview with the university and if I've got my loan application approved. Probably just as well I'm spending this week running around the country catching up with old F/friends rather than sitting here fretting over it. I'll keep you posted!

Harry Potter and the Quaker Quote

2007-07-24T19:18:00.000+12:00

No spoilers I promise (oh and Lucy I've finished it now!) not even oblique references like Kate put in her post...

As you open Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows you come across a couple of quotes - one of which has meant a lot to me for many years. Here is a longer extract of the text as found in Britain Yearly Meeting's book of Quaker Faith & Practice, thought some of you Potter fans who aren't so well acquainted with William Penn might appreciate it...

22.95
The truest end of life, is to know the life that never ends. He that makes this his care, will find it his crown at last. And he that lives to live ever, never fears dying: nor can the means be terrible to him that heartily believes the end.
For though death be a dark passage, it leads to immortality, and that's recompense enough for suffering of it. And yet faith lights us, even through the grave, being the evidence of things not seen.
And this is the comfort of the good, that the grave cannot hold them, and that they live as soon as they die. For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity. Death, then, being the way and condition of life, we cannot love to live, if we cannot bear to die.
They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies. Nor can spirits ever be divided that love and live in the same Divine Principle, the root and record of their friendship. If absence be not death, neither is theirs.
Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. For they must needs be present, that love and live in that which is omnipresent. In this divine glass, they see face to face; and their converse is free, as well as pure.
This is the comfort of friends, that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal.
William Penn, 1693

(the text in bold is that quoted in HPVII)

What I will say (and no this won't spoil it for anyone) is that Dumbledore's insistance in earlier books that love is stronger than anything else comes through even more strongly in this one which has prompted many thoughts. But right now they are whirling around as if in a penseive (and yes Mum I have spelt that right, you really are going to have to read them you know!) but they haven't quite got themselves in enough order to make sense for a blogpost. But needless to say this has decided to float around along with it all - WGYFers and ANZYFs will probably recognise it better than most =)

delayed gratification

2007-07-21T16:19:00.000+12:00

(hands over ears) I'm not listening.... nobody's hearing nothing.....

ok, so that's from a different cult classic but I don't care - just don't tell me what happens. Given I'm in no state to cycle into town I probably won't get my (reserved!) copy until Monday. Meanwhile I'll go back to re-reading through I-VI and pretend HP VII hasn't come out yet...

I said don't tell me ok... Martin, Lucy, Audra - that means you too! Howlers heading in the direction of anyone who tries to spoil anything.

Lousy timing for dizzy spells I can tell you, and they aren't the magical kind either... law of sod I'm home alone again this weekend. Bah humbug, or should that be Cockroach Clusters?

Chocolate frog anyone?

raining again

2007-07-15T11:55:00.001+12:00

It's raining again, hard, and has been all morning.... the fire station siren went off about half an a hour ago, after all the flooding last week I can't be the only one sitting here wondering how high the waters will get this time and if that was a flooding call rather than a fire.

Metservice is warning we could be in for rain most of the day and it's not so much the amount of rain falling that's the problem but the existing saturation levels of the ground - 'Lake' Tangonge will no doubt be expanding further - usually swamp land yet an ever increasing amount of it has been under water for a while now with the winter rains, it's now extended further than most people I've talked to can remember. I know I'll be fine where I am and that I don't need to go anywhere today if I don't want to - I had planned to go to Phyllis' and sort through a crate in her garage to see if it got water got into it last week but as her garage is also full of a neighbour's belongings from her badly flooded home across the road I need to be able to put stuff outside which would seem somewhat counterproductive right now!

I know I'm one of the lucky ones, not only for being above the flood levels but for having enough faith in the way the world works to know that the whatever happens the important needs in life will be met. That might seem a little naive but despite several occasions in life where I've wondered where I'll be living next somewhere has always come up, I've always had who I needed there - even if they weren't who I expected or perhaps wanted. I know that whilst I'd be sad to lose various possessions with sentimental value there are far more important things in life and life's too short to dwell on things rather than people.

Along with many of those rendered homeless by the floods I don't have a clue where I'll be this time next year. I know where I'd like to be, but as life has a funny habit of giving you what you ask for but not necessarily how you expect it to happen I'll not be making any assumptions!

swings and roundabouts

2007-07-14T21:47:00.000+12:00

I've been housesitting for a F/friend in town for the last few days - kind of handy being 10 minutes walk from the shops and the library (where I volunteer a couple of afternoons a week) and of course from the boys too.

It's nice to feel that I don't have to do everything in one go when I'm in town, I can come back later, or tomorrow... I could collect Liam and Ryan myself when I was spending time with each of them and take them home again, none of us needing lifts or for me to cycle in (which given the changeable weather is a blessing!).

But....

It's just not home. I hadn't realised just how much William and Elizabeth's felt like home until I wasn't there. I also hadn't really appreciated how much company Cammi is - even when she's getting under my feet and driving me bananas - at least when I'm talking to myself there I can at least pretend I'm talking to her!

I miss the view too, just standing on the deck with a cuppa and enjoying the fact that the horizon is, well on the horizon and not across the road. I miss the cows and paddocks (fields!) being over the hedge and there when I draw the curtains each morning. The same things I missed when I started flatting in Newcastle and traded my Castle Leazes Halls room on the 5th floor for a view of the backyard and the rear of Dilston Road in sunny Arthur's Hill - all my childhood homes had had views of fields, trees and usually cows too so that 1st year view had only really lacked the hills. After 18 years of no real view in three cities and two hemispheres it's surprising just how quickly I've got firmly attached to having one again!

It's been nice having a few days in town, but I will be glad to get home again. Even Ryan, when he stayed here with me last night, conceded that I was better off at 'Grandma's'. Given he's often telling me I should get a different house so he'd have another place to go and stay I reckon he's right.

It must be said though, the internet connection is much faster here.... ah well, you can't have everything I guess.

home and dry

2007-07-11T09:39:00.000+12:00

Well for anyone keeping a weather eye on the news around here this is a quick update to let you know we're all ok!

Gales and severe flooding hit Northland yesterday - our only excitement out here was when Elizabeth and I had to go and dig out round the shed so the water went around it rather than through it and into the sleep-out which involved clambering over and relocating half the woodpile not to mention getting rather soggy! (Don't worry Simon, the sleep-out has dried out nicely)

Phyllis (William's mother) got evacuated early evening when the flood banks in town were breached, she's just gone back, sounds like the water only got into the garage not the house. Power and water are off in parts of town but Mathew and Co don't seem to be affected. Like us the Bradleys are high enough up not to be really affected. Ruth and Stephan are stranded in Whangerei at Ruth's mothers so no idea what Diggers Valley is like yet, thankfully it's not calving time. The cows on the flats below us had to be moved up a few paddocks as the one they were in became more of a paddle than a field!

Kaitaia College is being used as a refuge so the phone was busy last night with calls for William as various heaters, mattresses etc were being located and updates given. It sounds like the Far North District Council Emergency Plan that got put into place last year all ran as it should which is good to hear. Our mailout from the Government about Emergency kits was sitting unopened until breakfast this morning - but about the only things we hadn't had to hand were sun hats and sunblock but somehow we managed without them =)

I've taken a few 'after' photos of the creek and the flats which I'll post to Flickr once the camera battery has recharged enough...

Anyway, best stop hogging the phoneline

sorted

2007-07-06T21:46:00.000+12:00

There's a somewhat contradictory part of my nature that really enjoys being organised, putting things in an orderly fashion, setting up filing systems. My fiction books and cds tend to be arranged alphabetically, aged about 7 or 8 I tried inventing my own version of the library cataloguing system when I realised that non-fiction didn't work so well alphabetised by author. I actually enjoyed pulling everything out of my cupboards and reorganising my toys - even if I did need to be told umpteen times to do it first. You see there is the crunch, the contradiction - I love setting these things up but then I get bored and want to do something else and somehow chaos resumes and returns everything to a more natural state.

Today was a day for sorting - I spent a couple of hours helping Simon sort the Lego out, one of those tasks that once started somehow managed to consume most of his day. Then he dropped me off in town to help Libby in the library where I was shelving returned books - putting books in their proper order and moving strays back to where they belong. And this evening? I sat with the script making sure people read the right lines in the right places and rescuing them from straying.

I enjoy it! There's something really quite satisfying about having put everything where it belongs - so why oh why don't I manage to keep on top of order in my life, doing it the sensible a little bit every day way rather than it gradually slipping until the orderly part of me gets exasperated and blitzes the lot? But that wouldn't be half as much fun....

life...

2007-06-24T21:37:00.000+12:00

Ok so it's been a while since I blogged as one or two of you have pointed out, but there hasn't been anything springing to mind to share, a bit like trying to be creative to timetable in Art class at school I haven't found inspiration when I've been at the computer and by then I've usually forgotten anything that had come to mind when I was away from the keyboard... which probably means it wasn't really worth a post anyway.

The last week of term starts tomorrow then we've two weeks of holidays, it's been a long time since school holidays have had any impact on my daily life! It's going to feel quite odd not going to school each morning - not that I'll be stuck for things to do I'm sure. I seldom am anyway and there'll be extra folk around, the boys to play with and adventures no doubt to be had - it's Simon's turn to lead a Tailby Tour methinks =) Ah, and there's a small matter of the Kaitaia Dramatic Society play to be performed for a 5 night run... So if any of you happen to be passing through Kaitaia (as one does!) on the nights of the 5th-7th, 9th and 10th of July tickets are a meer $10 on the door!

My role in the play a I may have mentioned already is production assistant which in the main means being the prompt - so I've ended up knowing everyone's lines not just one part. It's uncanny just how often in a day someone will say something that reminds me of a line in the play. Liam and I were watching 'The Princess Bride' last night for the umpteenth (and probably heading for umptieth!) time in the last couple of months - between us, and the rest of the family, we could probably quote the entire script - and it doesn't take much to spark us off quoting it either. At least with that though there are a few more people in the world who know what we're talking about =)

So life continues to pootle along quite happily here, I just need to find a way to stay here still. I'm so far escaping the matchmaking antics of the teacher aides next door who are currently determind to find a woman for one of the teachers - any rugby and fishing enthusiasts out there prepared to chauffeur the team around, cook the fish he catches (which reminds me of a line in the play...) but not want children let Bev and Glenys know and they'll vet any applicants for suitability!!! They've decided he needs to stop living off cheese and ham toasties at school... fortunately they've also realised I fail on several accounts! I'd much rather they continued keeping an eye out for possible jobs for me than decide that 'marrying a kiwi' is the way to go... and anyway if I did find a man there would be one very disappointed 4 year old who seems to think he has first claim on my affections... I wouldn't want to let him down now would I?

shoes

2007-06-10T12:04:00.000+12:00

'Who's that?' asked Ryan pointing at a statue as he cycled along a path whilst his brother played soccer.

Who indeed! Well given we were in a Catholic school's grounds, and it was a long haired bearded chappie in flowing robes with a flaming heart leaping out of his chest and his hand up to stop the traffic in the neighbouring carpark I hazzarded a guess and said 'It's probably meant to be Jesus'.

'It can't be!' came the reply with a furrowed brow and that look that I know these days means more questions are coming... oh no, I panicked a bit, thinking I'm on dodgy ground here. He's an Anglican churchgoer and really ought to be far better aquainted with christian icons than I am - even if he is only four and a half. Please don't ask about the heart, please don't.... pretty much everything I know about Catholisism has been gained from Maeve Binchy books and those folk I know who've abandoned that faith with vengance, so somewhat patchy and decidedly biased to say the least.

'He's not got any shoes on, it can't be Jesus!' Huh? Now I know we called a certain style of untrendy footwear Jesus Sandals at school but c'mon, this is New Zealand - kids commonly go to school in bare feet or even if they do go to school in shoes they don't always come home with them on. Going bare foot here is normal.

'But you don't always wear shoes, you don't even like wearing shoes - why can't Jesus have bare feet?' was my puzzled reply - but phew looked like I was off the hook about that heart thing, Sacred Heart isn't it? There endeth my knowledge on that particular subject, well that and that it adorns the Baz Luhrman 'Romeo & Juliet' merchandise...

'Cos he can't, that's why. He's got to have shoes on' errr....
'Well maybe he's got sandals on and you just can't see them because of his robes - you can only see his toes really'
'But he's got to have shoes on....' came the concerned reply. 'You come and play with me now?'

Which I duly did... and several hours later the penny dropped that the above mentioned shoes that he doesn't like wearing had to be worn for church on Sundays. See there was logic in there afterall- if Ryan had to wear shoes for church then Jesus bloomin' well had to wear his too. Fairs fair eh?

Sometimes being a Quaker sets you at a disadvantage in such situations, several of us in Wellington often turned up to Meeting in bare feet (including Ryan's uncle!), or kicked shoes off as soon as arriving which is probably why it took so long for the penny to drop. Dressing up for Meeting isn't really the 'done thing' - after all you are who you are and lets face it it's what you are inside as a person that matters far more than what you look like and then there're all those testimony issues about simplicity, equality, integrity...

I've a sneaking suspicion that Jesus, as depicted with his long hair and beard, flowing robes and bare feet (or maybe sandals you couldn't see...) would feel far more at home coming to join a bunch of Quakers for Meeting for Worship than in a church full of people all dressed up to the nines in their Sunday Best. But if he wants that Sacred Heart thing maybe he'd be better with a Romeo & Juliet t-shirt on, don't want to go frightening anyone now do we?

story time

2007-06-07T18:51:00.000+12:00

Alongside half a dozen kids I got a certificate in assembly today - a 'Principals Award' - mine for helping the children with their reading, theirs for effort and/or achievement in various aspects of their classroom activities. I'm not sure who was most suprised to hear my name being called out, me or the kids! Glenys reckons I should put it on my cv =)

The class the kids come to me from straight after morning tea is probably the largest in the school and getting them organised can be a bit chaotic so I've started popping my head around the door on my way to 'my' room to collect my first reader. Today the teacher wasn't there at the time and the Teachers Aide happily let one of the kids come with me who was jumping up and down with excitement to be able to come first... he had to be retrieved a few minutes later and replaced by the correct child who probably wished the other had been allowed to stay by the time we'd got to the end of her 15mins! She now knows more than she ever wanted to about earthworms... not the most exciting of books and not an easy read for her either.

It's fascinating seeing the differing levels of enthusiasm, learning mechanisms and achievement - especially over time. One wee boy manages to memorise books once they are read to him so when he goes through it he just has to work out the first letter of a word he isn't sure of and can usually then remember what it is - an amazing memory skill but completely hopeless for getting him to learn to work out words for himself. We're trying both covering up the pictures and finding stories he doesn't know - it took the whole 15mins to do 3 sentences today but practically every word had to be broken down and worked out. He was soooo pleased with himself when he'd done it though! It felt like a huge breakthrough.

I was an early and avid reader (still am!) so it still seems somewhat incomprehensible to have one girl come who sees the daily extra reading as something to be endured rather than enjoyed. To me the skill of reading and love of books is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. Much of my weekend time is spent reading stories to children rather than listening to them - some stories I'm beginning to remember off by heart I've read them that many times lately! So some sneaky putting books from the basket back on the shelves and swapping them for new ones has had to be done for my sanity's sake, if Alfie lends a hand once more I think I'll cry never mind Min... but the Taniwha is safe in her river for a while longer, people say its a log - but we know it's a Taniwha.

ta'veren?

2007-05-29T19:02:00.000+12:00

When I came out here to live I made a pact with myself - to say 'yes' to whatever offers and opportunities came my way.

Mostly it's been little things like going to see a film I wouldn't have otherwise, or going to the ballet (which it would never have crossed my mind to have done) but sometimes the little things have led to people and places I would have otherwise missed. I've said yes to one of two offers others would have cautioned me against but each time it's proved to have been the right thing to do.

I was watching a film the other night (that I most certainly wouldn't have seen had I not been invited along, cheers John - and Jo for wanting us all to see it) which talked about the power of positive thought on what happens in our lives amongst other concepts - it showed the Japanese research example of the effects on water of different emotions, a blessing, music etc with the comment that as we're made up of 90% water what effect do our thoughts have on us?

I've spent probably more time than I ought to admit to since I moved up here working my way through the Robert Jordan 'Wheel of Time' series of books in which three of the main characters are ta'veren - ie they shape the pattern of the world around them far more than is considered usual, not even by doing anything in particular but by simply being there - with people finding themselves doing things they'd never have done otherwise just because they are in the ta'veren's presence. I've thought a lot over the last year or so about the effects we have on each others lives - sometimes simply by being there, by being patterns and examples - intentionally or otherwise. I found myself likening certain people in my life to ta'veren and then with a somewhat rueful smile realised they could probably say the same about me!

We all affect each others lives so much more than we think we do. Over the last couple of weeks I've been reminded a lot of Jane and Catherine who I'm pretty sure wouldn't have a clue who I am now (if they ever did). They were two 6th formers who came in each Wednesday afternoon to one of the Primary Schools I went to and helped with craftwork. That was not far off 30 years ago yet I can still picture them sitting there helping us embroider tablemats and needlecases or bake scones and biscuits - knowing the difference their presence made to us is partly why I'm helping out nextdoor with the kids reading.

So given the impact our thoughts and attitudes can have on ourselves and our actions on others I'm sticking to my saying yes, my being positive about things (Pollyanna again!) but one of the other things raised by the film has given me a lot of pause for thought and a sense of need for some worshipful space to work it out in. What do I really want to happen in my life? Not just on the surface, but right down to the core of my being... that one raises far more questions than it does answers. For me it comes back yet again to the concept of what's 'calling'. And other than to be right here, right now I still don't have a clear picture for that one yet. Is simply being here enough?

lightbulb moments

2007-05-26T20:03:00.000+12:00

Ok, so it'll be obvious already to any parents out there but for me it's a recent revelation. Children's TV programmes on a lunchtime and when you get home from school, they're for kids right?

Well, they may be in terms of content but in terms of scheduling they are most definately there for the benefit of whoever is trying to get a meal ready! Obvious really when you think about it but until I was actually the one trying to prepare said meal it's a concept that had never even occurred to me...

I've spent a hefty chunk of most weekends lately looking after an assortment of boys on my own, sometimes just one at a time or up to three (and once four...) together. I've never really had to be the one responsible for so long on my own before, babysitting for a few hours or being with others (be they parents or other relatives) with whom the buck stopped I've done plenty of, but overnight stays and whole days on my own? New territory for me.

Must admit the first time I was faced with three of them overnight I was a bit apprehensive, great as they are and much as I love them to bits I do know that angels they most definately are not - would we all survive intact? Well we did, and the WWIII that errupted over who got to sleep in the 'lego room' ended up with the two opponents curled up in my bed and me in the lego room (having politely but firmly declined the offer to climb in with them! There are only so many sharp elbows and knees I'm prepared to put up with in a confined space...)

The house always feels a bit too quiet and empty once they've left, although the quiet when they've gone to bed is usally far more welcome!

I'm realising just how much 'parenting' skills I've picked up from my friends, the little tricks of the trade and ways of dealing with the thornier situations - the is that your grumpy face? routine works a treat on four year olds this side of the globe too! I'm also realising how lucky these boys and various other children I know are who have very close loving relationships with non-grand/parental adults in their lives. People they know they can got to for a cuddle, to talk to if they are upset, to go and stay with without parents.

I remember someone back in Edinburgh telling me how she used to have that kind of relationship with various children (my peers as it happens) from Meeting but that these days she wouldn't dare have that kind of warm, huggy relationship and to have F/friends children and teenagers over to stay. What would it look like - a single woman having all these children who she wasn't related to around all the time? Times are changing she said, it just can't be done anymore. It felt sad at the time to hear it, and we're talking well over five years ago now. It feels even sadder now having really experienced for myself the joys of doing just that. I know where she's coming from though and I'd probably think a bit differently about it in the UK too. Yet another reason to thank the heavens I'm here...

I've been 'borrowing' other people's children for years now, it used to be adopting little 'brothers and sisters' at Summer School and later becoming a Summer School 'mum' and a (fairy - allegedly) godmother. I've sat through more pregnancy/breastfeeding/nappy conversations than I'd even want to contemplate counting and can hold my own in discussions about the benefits of raspberry leaf tea and the wonders of cabbage leaves - which came in handy yesterday when chatting with three mums at football (sorry - I mean soccer...), two of whom are heavily pregnant again. Someone referred to me yesterday as 'your aunty' when talking to Ryan - a term used here as much as in Yorkshire to mean any adult female in your life, whether it's the nextdoor neighbour, a friend of the parents or a relative (or all three in one!), but in many ways it feels an appropriate term in the family sense. It's very much what my relationship with these three boys has become over the years, as with Summer School kids it's a direct relationship rather than because of their parents yet with the closeness I have say with my godson (or at least did before I abandoned him to move here - I'm sorry Morgan...). And surely not even in Britain could it be frowned on to go and stay at your aunty's?

So where is all this taking me? Dunno; I'm not likely to become a mum in a hurry (let alone the usual 9 months...) and if I did become an actual aunty a small matter of 10,000 or so miles would get in the way somewhat! But it has certainly taken some of the scariness out of the parenting concept, altho I'm still awaiting convincement on the pregnancy front - despite Leith and Avon both positively glowing at YF Camp! So I think I'll just continue to live in the moment, enjoy being the doting 'aunty' for as long as I can and welcome the learning curve as no doubt it'll come in handy one day for something - life's like that.

bletherings

2007-05-21T21:40:00.000+12:00

Ok, haven't been blogging much - so here's a bit if a blether to catch you up with my life...

Various back-up plans were put in place before I came up here to housesit in case I got lonely, bored or whatever and decided that Kaitaia, or more to the point Pukepoto wasn't the place for me (a good half hours cycle from town - remember I don't drive! Oh and I've hardly ridden a bike in the last 20 years). I did try to point out at the time it was unlikely to be necessary...

It's so long now since I've been bored (other than those end of illness days when I'm well enough to want to do something but not actually up to doing most of it) that I've forgotten how to be. Lonely? I haven't been given the chance to be thanks to those I knew up here already making sure I see them regularly - and I like to think it's not just for the supply of fruit I pass in their direction =)

But it's not just those I knew already, what with helping with the Kaitaia Dramatic Society production, volunteering at the primary school next door and being introduced to others by existing friends I'm feeling very much part of the community here. I've said many times being a Quaker makes the world a smaller place - turns out a teacher at the College here who is in the play was mates with Leif in Lancaster! Did I know him? Mike asked not really expecting me to - but I certainly do and last time I saw him he stayed with me for Sally & Luke's wedding! Add to that the usual small town connections and it appears that everyone I meet knows most of the others I know - although knowing the Principal of the College, a Church Minister and two GPs is a pretty good start in any community! As with Wellington I've really landed on my feet in terms of having a solid foundation to build on right from the word go.

Must admit to not having done half the things I intended to yet... (sorry Marion, I will write that RF report eventually, but at least I got the YF newsletter article done...) . I'm getting heaps of time being entertained by 5 boys aged 4-12 - I love it and the novelty most certainly hasn't worn off yet, apparently much to the amazement of both sets of parents ("Are you sure you don't mind having them?"). The one down side of the many trips to the beach is that Cammi seems to bring half of it home with her, usually within hours of me doing the hoovering too :/ At least she's not found a stinky fish head for a few trips now altho' the dead possum from the road that she dragged down the banking and hid somewhere to roll in for about a week certainly left her in the dog house (literally) . I know the only good possum in this country is a dead one but believe me the stench is enough for me to begin to wish they could be left alive.

In case any of the Edinburgh crowd are reading this you'll be pleased to hear I've converted Dylan to The Proclaimers =) We were discussing music and realised that neither of us knew more than one in a dozen of the names of the bands we each listened to (not that I was any better at knowing music a 12 year old would listen to in Britain either despite years of Summer Gathering and Link Group!) so it was time for some education and with his passion for Scotland it seemed an obvious place to start! I just need to teach him to bounce properly during 'I'm Gonna be...' now =) (as I've said before, where's Roz when I need her?!)

In fact when it comes to education I've really been doing my bit - 2 total converts to Ivor the Engine and one to Bagpuss. How cool is it to hear kids going tchoo-ti-cum, tchoo-ti-cum when playing later with lego trains knowing where they've got it from?! Haven't even tried The Clangers yet... More seriously though helping the kids at the school with their reading is just fantastic, in just a week I can see improvement in some of them. There's one wee boy whose reading isn't that great but he just loves the stories and gets sooo excited by them and puts so much expression into any dialogue. Whereas someone I had today who is a far better reader technically yet sounded like an automaton - it was quite sad really cos it was a beautiful story.

Anyway tis bedtime so this will have to do for now - got to get up for school in the morning!

another world

2007-05-14T11:06:00.000+12:00

In Britain you need to get Criminal Records disclosures (which can take months to come through and you need a new one for each post/role you take on), a couple of references and fill in various forms to be able to do any work with children, even just looking after them for Childrens' Meeting some Sunday mornings.

Last week I popped round to the local primary school (which is literally next door) and had a short discussion with someone asking if they needed any volunteers to help with reading etc. Today I went back round, met a couple of teachers with the Principal for a couple of minutes at the end of playtime - could I start tomorrow doing 1 to 1 work?!?

No doubt there will be forms etc to follow but the whole attitude to working with children is just so different here. At times it scares the living daylights out of me when I realise the lack of expectation for training for things like outdoor activities, swimming supervision etc, but at others it is refreshing and a breath of fresh air. It's a reminder of what it used to be like before everyone started getting paranoid. Some of it is the lack of blame culture - if a kid gets hurt doing something then the prevailing attitude here seems to be well the kid'll learn not to do that again rather than who was to blame for not stopping it happen.

It's quite sad really to realise just how much blame I expect to have to take when responsible for other people's children - somehow we're expected in Britain to be infailable, to be experts, to have eye's all round our head and to be conscious of what is happening in our sleep. And this is expected as much of the 18 yr old first time staff member of a camp as someone who has brought up four kids who are all now adults and/or who has taught for over 20 years.

Having lived with the British culture of child protection (and studied it at uni during a time of big changes to the law) my brain immediately starts thinking about issues like not being in closed spaces alone with a child, keeping doors open, always making sure people know you are there, not being alone with a child of the opposite sex (which has always seemed crazy as it assumes a certain sexual orientation!) - all the things that have been drummed into me so much that they are second nature now, no matter how overly cautious they seemed when they first came out. Now it's almost unnerving not to be expected to take these things into account as a matter of course! I know only too well how damaging unfounded allegations can be, but also what can and does go on behind closed doors in supposedly safe settings like schools.

It's certainly going to be interesting learning more about what it's like in schools here compared to how it is at Quaker camps, how the attitudes to such things vary and what is expected of me.

taking the plunge...

2007-05-08T15:29:00.000+12:00

I've been to the beach with the Bradleys several times since getting here, in fact usually a couple of times a week. They go for a swim and the closest I get is plodging along the edge with Cammi. She's got a decent excuse, ickle legs and doggy paddle aren't really designed for Ninety Mile Beach surf. me? I'm just a wuss...

I have got a reasonable(ish) excuse in that I grew up well away from the beach, in Britain where holidays by the beach meant building sandcastles, burrying each other and playing cricket, hardly going in the water at all - we're mainly talking the Irish Sea here and Gulf Stream Current or not it certainly isn't the Mediteranean. Also I'm decidedly wary of the surf here having found myself pounded down by it and totally disoriented as to which way was up at the Coromandel 3 years ago.

But it's getting to the point where I really am going to have to go in beyond my knees, even if that does mean leaving Cammi behind. There's only so many times you can be shown up by 9yr olds before you start feeling silly! I guess this means I'll have to open up the last box as I suspect that's where my togs are, not having seen them since Wellington...

It's a bit scary really - but I'll not be on my own and Ann has literally offered to hold my hand if I need it... I can do it, I know I can, I just have to get it over and done with...

The other thing I need to do is book mine and Sarah's tickets - something that is really scary for both of us. The idea of booking a flight way from here literally makes me feel sick, I'll be booking a return trip but with no certainty of being able to come back on the same flight as Sarah as so far Immigration aren't playing ball. Having psyched each other up to do this on the phone the Air New Zealand site decided it was on overload and won't let me book... grrrr. I need to go back now and try again, before I lose my nerve.

Deep breath and go for it.........

pootling about

2007-05-03T19:57:00.000+12:00

It's funny how the days seem to disappear without actually doing very much with them! Well it feels like I don't, altho I have made my way along about a footsworth of Sam's bookshelves which could explain where a lot of the time has gone...

It's quite strange having no pressure to do things, it's a bit like that feeling you get (well I got!) after leaving school or uni when the realisation hits you that there's no outstanding homework to be doing as it's too late now.

Having said that I've got play rehearsals lined up for what looks like 4 nights a week for the rest of the month - I'm the production assistant, which means I get to ding a bell, read out cue lines and prompt when people forget their words. Much better doing that from the sidelines than being on stage I reckon =) It's good fun, a good play and funny too - and getting funnier as the actors get to grips with their roles. Also it's a way of getting to know a few more people here, not that I'm short of company when I want/need it. It's obviously becoming part of my subconcious though as when I got home last night to a pile of clean towels needing folded that had been grabbed in off the line before dashing out, I found myself folding them the 'proper way' instead of how I would normally - the towel folding scene in the play is just priceless!

I'm no closer to working out what comes next in life yet - altho' Sarah and I are busy planning our trip to the UK in October, I'm just hoping I get to come back with her! She says I've got to as she doesn't want to have to fly back on her own... can't see Immigration falling for that one though somehow, methinks they'll need something more than that.

I'm loving it here, even though the various flying bitey things seem to love me being here too - I'm hanging in there for that immunity that eventually comes with time... despite the uncertainty about life I'm finding I've got a sense of calm about it all and am simply enjoying time to just be.

would you like climate change with that?

2007-04-18T10:47:00.000+12:00

Akin to the world's leaders current preoccupation, much of YF Camp was spent discussing climate change, what it means and our response to it. Whilst we can't personally do much about factory or agricultural emissions that doesn't mean we can't lead the way within our own community. We came up with (amongst others) the following Minute:

To Yearly Meeting, we strongly advocate and offer our assistance to the formation of an Aotearoa NZ Testimony to Sustainability and the Earth. We also call for the development of YM policies on sustainable codes and practices in Quaker buildings, gatherings and events. We ask that time be allocated to these issues at Yearly Meeting 2007.

We've also established our own Climate Change group, started work on guidelines towards improving the sustainability of our own YF Camps (both this YF Camp and the last Summer Gathering have been carbon neutralised as best we can), started discussions on possible future sustainable property options and made some headway with an article on the sustainable codes we're asking YM for (working on which is on my 'to do' list...).

Several YFs went away from Camp determind to reduce their carbon footprints by reducing the amount of meat they eat, if not cutting it out altogether. Sarah and Mim decided in the car home to combine the skills learned at Bridget's printing workshop with the climate change message (and Grace's catchy slogan!) - as Cat would say think it do it... the photo is above!

Living here with so much fresh fruit, eggs and veg around plus all the time I need for baking my own bread and making meals from scratch it would be easy to get complacent about my dietary impact on the world. But my ricemilk comes from Australia in unrecyclable tetrapaks, chick peas are from heaven knows where, you can buy NZ grown lentils but I'm not sure if you can in Kaitaia yet, my tea and coffee are imported (albeit organic and fairly traded) and no matter how hard I try I still seem to use a fair number of products in unrecyclable packinging.

I don't drive, and still don't intend to learn (for many reasons including environmental) however there is only so far, and so often, I can get on the bike but I'm trying to keep to a minimum the number of extra journeys others have to make on my behalf - luckily for me the road to Ahipara is commonly used by those happy to give me a ride.

At camp we were urged to 'be patterns, be examples' on this issue, it's not so much a case of 'what canst thou say?' but what canst thou do?