You know the more I thought about the matter of routine the more I realised how much a lack of it had been affecting me over the last week.
Coming back from holiday on a Monday rather than a Sunday threw me to start off with, then a little thing I know but my washing got done on a Tuesday rather than Wednesday. But Wednesday I started the first of a run of lunch covers at the other kindergarten in town so different routines & children although for both Weds and Thurs I was working with at least one if not two teachers I'd worked with at AWK!
Thursday morning life turned upside down when I was woken by Phyllis falling in the hallway and as it turns out fracturing her hip. She's away 'down the line' in Whangarei as our hospital doesn't stretch to orthopaedic surgery. So I've taken on the mantle of her P.A. and being information central...
So this means not only is my 'usual' routine of last year out the window but I haven't even got hers to anchor me to a day in the week (she's writing a sermon so it must be Tuesday evening) or week in the month (it was Golden Age today so that makes it the 3rd Tuesday of the month).
Rudolph Steiner had a lot to say about the importance of routine, within the day, week and year. Especially he felt this was so in the realms of education and working with adults with special needs - when working at Garvald I don't know that I ever really quite 'got it'. I could understand it from a theoretical point of view but for me as a staff member my own life was so lacking in consistency due to shift work I didn't live it in such a way that it was meaningful (that irony was not lost on us at the time I can assure you!). But the last few days have really made me think about it and how routine enables me to cope with things, and when I have to think about the things I usually just do because it is ....day because they haven't happened/happened on a different day it has meant coping with the unexpected has been that much more overwhelming.
I probably didn't help my own cause in that case by doing my washing today, a day 'early' again - as Wednesdays used to be my day off it was the best day to get it done. I have to work tomorrow as I did last Wednesday, oh my poor befuddled braincells! However on Thursday I will collect my milk delivery and another part of my life will fall back into it's normal pattern (last Thursday having been chaos and I forgot). It has been almost with a sense of relief over the last few days that I've made up the next batch of rosemary hair rinse, a batch of toothpowder, a jar of yoghurt, another tub full of fruit and nut mix, and a big pot of soup frozen in portions for packed lunches. Just normal every day type activities that give definition to where I am in the week and month.
I suppose in this bid to regain some normality of routine back into life it means I'd better do the cleaning tomorrow afternoon once I'm back from work. Normally the home help would be here doing that but she can't go to a home if her client is in hospital (bummer... I must admit I do like having a home help do the floors and bathroom!), then if nothing else at least it will feel like a Wednesday in that the house will smell clean!
At least the uncertainty over whether I'd be going away or not on Thursday has been sorted and I'll just be at home over the weekend, which I am extremely grateful for. Given when put on the spot today I struggled to think through a problem that should've been a doddle I don't think I'm really in the right headspace yet for thinking beyond anything beyond domestic arrangements! Fingers crossed though the carpet will come soon and then at least I can get the house back to looking more like normal again, for my sanity's sake let alone Phyllis' safety!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
routine
Routine is something that various philosophers, educationalists and so on have claimed to be good for a persons hauora (well being). Routines and rituals provide the bedrock upon which so many of the worlds churches have been built as an organisation.
But so far this year any sense of an ongoing routine in my life has been lacking. The first few days of the year were very structured seeing as I was at Summer Gathering - mealtimes were set, daily worship and sessions were part and parcel of the day. Then came a few days of travel where the next departing bus or plane were what defined the shape of life. Once home it was fairly easy to slip into 'holiday mode' - no alarm clocks, take each day as it comes... the 'to do' list defined the day, what had reached the 'urgent' status or what looked like the most attractive alternative! Then came a couple more weeks of travel visiting F/friends and family in Melbourne and back here.
By this point (i.e. mid February) I was starting to feel the lack of consistency in my days so was quite glad to have lined up 5 days of lunch cover at the nearest kindergarten to home. Only a couple of hours each day but it provided a definition to the day that I'd been missing - plus lunchtimes are one of the most structured parts of the kindergarten day so it was easy to know what I should be doing when even amidst what were to start with a lot of unfamiliar children.
On facebook Deb shared something she'd learnt at the recent Webstock event "One big thing that I personally took away from this year's Webstock is: less passive consumption of information and more creative production. One of our speakers, Clay Johnson, said that the first thing he does in the morning, before he checks his email or Twitter or anything, is write 500 words. Every single morning. And that puts his brain into a creative, productive, active mode rather than starting off in a passive, reactive mode." and it made me realise that I start every day very much in the passive mode, be it reading facebook or emails, listening to the radio etc. The idea of being creative first thing (beyond making breakfast - which is always the same so I don't have to even think about that) seemed like an anathema, definitely in the territory of 'here be dragons' and woe betide anyone who tried to convince me otherwise.
But it got me thinking. At the moment life is a bit different anyways as there is no way I can lie in bed and check facebook before breakfast as Rosie (the cat) comes to tell me she wants breakfast the minute she hears me stir. So rather than switch on the laptop this morning I switched on the kitchen radio and sat down with my porridge still not to emails but to the newspaper (yesterdays as we don't get a Sunday one), after all as it is turning up 6 days a week already paid for I should at least glance through it whilst I'm the only one home! As the computer wasn't already on it was far easier to then go and do something else constructive (a small amount of housework) before engaging with the online world.
I don't think I'll ever be the sort to leap straight into action every morning, I still need time to surface and just take in the world as a part of my morning routine. But whilst I 'have' to get up straight away each morning upon waking I'll see if I can get into a routine of leaving the laptop until later rather than letting it start my day.
But so far this year any sense of an ongoing routine in my life has been lacking. The first few days of the year were very structured seeing as I was at Summer Gathering - mealtimes were set, daily worship and sessions were part and parcel of the day. Then came a few days of travel where the next departing bus or plane were what defined the shape of life. Once home it was fairly easy to slip into 'holiday mode' - no alarm clocks, take each day as it comes... the 'to do' list defined the day, what had reached the 'urgent' status or what looked like the most attractive alternative! Then came a couple more weeks of travel visiting F/friends and family in Melbourne and back here.
By this point (i.e. mid February) I was starting to feel the lack of consistency in my days so was quite glad to have lined up 5 days of lunch cover at the nearest kindergarten to home. Only a couple of hours each day but it provided a definition to the day that I'd been missing - plus lunchtimes are one of the most structured parts of the kindergarten day so it was easy to know what I should be doing when even amidst what were to start with a lot of unfamiliar children.
On facebook Deb shared something she'd learnt at the recent Webstock event "One big thing that I personally took away from this year's Webstock is: less passive consumption of information and more creative production. One of our speakers, Clay Johnson, said that the first thing he does in the morning, before he checks his email or Twitter or anything, is write 500 words. Every single morning. And that puts his brain into a creative, productive, active mode rather than starting off in a passive, reactive mode." and it made me realise that I start every day very much in the passive mode, be it reading facebook or emails, listening to the radio etc. The idea of being creative first thing (beyond making breakfast - which is always the same so I don't have to even think about that) seemed like an anathema, definitely in the territory of 'here be dragons' and woe betide anyone who tried to convince me otherwise.
But it got me thinking. At the moment life is a bit different anyways as there is no way I can lie in bed and check facebook before breakfast as Rosie (the cat) comes to tell me she wants breakfast the minute she hears me stir. So rather than switch on the laptop this morning I switched on the kitchen radio and sat down with my porridge still not to emails but to the newspaper (yesterdays as we don't get a Sunday one), after all as it is turning up 6 days a week already paid for I should at least glance through it whilst I'm the only one home! As the computer wasn't already on it was far easier to then go and do something else constructive (a small amount of housework) before engaging with the online world.
I don't think I'll ever be the sort to leap straight into action every morning, I still need time to surface and just take in the world as a part of my morning routine. But whilst I 'have' to get up straight away each morning upon waking I'll see if I can get into a routine of leaving the laptop until later rather than letting it start my day.
Friday, January 25, 2013
packing and unpacking
I probably ought to be packing but I'm waiting for some photos to upload to Flickr so whilst I'm at the computer I may as well be doing something useful...
I've got two lots of packing going on at the moment - firstly we're getting the house re-carpeted, all the carpeted rooms at once except the (newer) sunroom. It is probably the first time the carpets have been replaced in the best part (or worst depending on your perspective!) of 40yrs if not more. Apart from the fact that they are worn thin and thus not very insulating (nor attractive) in places they are worn out and thus not very safe either. So we've been busy packing things into bags, boxes and suitcases etc so that furniture can be moved around more easily. We're not quite sure when the carpets are going down, but I'm going away on Sunday for a fortnight hence doing what we can now whilst I'm here to help. If we end up living with empty shelves for a few weeks then so be it, the plus side of that being if we then only put half the things back the shelves will still look full rather than empty! As Granny Weatherwax would call it, that is good headology (and a lot less dusting!)
So rather obviously the other packing I should be doing is my rucksack for going away. This ought to be easier given the substantially smaller quantities involved but my trip is to Melbourne where they are currently sweltering in the mid 30s, followed by a few days most likely in the Bay of Plenty where the temperature is more likely to be anywhere in the 20s. Not quite as extreme a range as autumnal Dunedin to Kenya in the one trip last year I'll admit, but still a challenge. I guess there are always op shops if I get desperate for something I don't have.
Last time I went to Melbourne was in March 2004, after my first trip ever to Aotearoa NZ. I arrived absolutely gutted at having to leave this place behind and for the first time I experienced the strange sense of being 'homesick' for the land I'd known for only two months. I still hate flying out of the country and when sitting by a window have yet to manage it without at least a tear in my eye even if I'm only going for a short trip, it just feels wrong seeing the coastline slip away. But as with any other trip overseas it is knowing who I'm going to see at the other end that gets me on the plane.
Luckily when I get back to these shores the catching up isn't over as I'll have a few days with an old friend from (UK) uni days and then the bonus of catching up with a Wellington friend who happens to be up north on my route home. You know I could get used to this redundancy malarkey and not having to be back for work on a Monday morning!
It seems like good timing to be going to Melbourne again. Last time I arrived still not quite knowing how life, or even the rest of the year, was going to pan out - I had some ideas (like emigrate!) but no firm plans or knowing if or how I could make it work. This time I have even less idea what life holds, but know I'm heading towards people who are good for working things through with, even if in Kylie's case she's probably thinking oh no here we go again...!
Being somewhere so different last time really made me appreciate how much this land had come to mean to me, not just the people. I have some wonderful and dear friends in Australia (which is why I'm heading over!) but the land doesn't call to me at all. I don't do extreme heat very well, I prefer my land masses to be crossable by road in one or two days rather than weeks, I tend to be allergic to bitey things and I can't stand lager... I must admit though they do produce some rather nice wine. We'll just not mention the cricket though eh?
The Tom Waits song San Diego Seranade talks about needing to go away from something to see it more clearly, hopefully this trip will help with that again and who knows I may come back with some answers as a souvenier. But just to be on the safe side today I've made sure my name and phone numbers are on the kindergartens' relieving lists ready for when I get back.
I've got two lots of packing going on at the moment - firstly we're getting the house re-carpeted, all the carpeted rooms at once except the (newer) sunroom. It is probably the first time the carpets have been replaced in the best part (or worst depending on your perspective!) of 40yrs if not more. Apart from the fact that they are worn thin and thus not very insulating (nor attractive) in places they are worn out and thus not very safe either. So we've been busy packing things into bags, boxes and suitcases etc so that furniture can be moved around more easily. We're not quite sure when the carpets are going down, but I'm going away on Sunday for a fortnight hence doing what we can now whilst I'm here to help. If we end up living with empty shelves for a few weeks then so be it, the plus side of that being if we then only put half the things back the shelves will still look full rather than empty! As Granny Weatherwax would call it, that is good headology (and a lot less dusting!)
So rather obviously the other packing I should be doing is my rucksack for going away. This ought to be easier given the substantially smaller quantities involved but my trip is to Melbourne where they are currently sweltering in the mid 30s, followed by a few days most likely in the Bay of Plenty where the temperature is more likely to be anywhere in the 20s. Not quite as extreme a range as autumnal Dunedin to Kenya in the one trip last year I'll admit, but still a challenge. I guess there are always op shops if I get desperate for something I don't have.
Last time I went to Melbourne was in March 2004, after my first trip ever to Aotearoa NZ. I arrived absolutely gutted at having to leave this place behind and for the first time I experienced the strange sense of being 'homesick' for the land I'd known for only two months. I still hate flying out of the country and when sitting by a window have yet to manage it without at least a tear in my eye even if I'm only going for a short trip, it just feels wrong seeing the coastline slip away. But as with any other trip overseas it is knowing who I'm going to see at the other end that gets me on the plane.
Luckily when I get back to these shores the catching up isn't over as I'll have a few days with an old friend from (UK) uni days and then the bonus of catching up with a Wellington friend who happens to be up north on my route home. You know I could get used to this redundancy malarkey and not having to be back for work on a Monday morning!
It seems like good timing to be going to Melbourne again. Last time I arrived still not quite knowing how life, or even the rest of the year, was going to pan out - I had some ideas (like emigrate!) but no firm plans or knowing if or how I could make it work. This time I have even less idea what life holds, but know I'm heading towards people who are good for working things through with, even if in Kylie's case she's probably thinking oh no here we go again...!
Being somewhere so different last time really made me appreciate how much this land had come to mean to me, not just the people. I have some wonderful and dear friends in Australia (which is why I'm heading over!) but the land doesn't call to me at all. I don't do extreme heat very well, I prefer my land masses to be crossable by road in one or two days rather than weeks, I tend to be allergic to bitey things and I can't stand lager... I must admit though they do produce some rather nice wine. We'll just not mention the cricket though eh?
The Tom Waits song San Diego Seranade talks about needing to go away from something to see it more clearly, hopefully this trip will help with that again and who knows I may come back with some answers as a souvenier. But just to be on the safe side today I've made sure my name and phone numbers are on the kindergartens' relieving lists ready for when I get back.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
update on life
For anyone wondering where my life is going now, post redundancy here is a bit of an update. Basically I still have no idea!
On Boxing Day I headed off to join just over 70 other Quakers for Summer Gathering down near Pukerau outside of Gore on the Mainland. With Meeting for Worship every day and lots of F/friends very good at asking the difficult but needful questions I had wondered if perhaps inspiration would come as to my next direction but instead I came away with an even longer Quaker to do list and the realisation that there really was no point in trying to find a 'proper job' until March at least as I had so much else on my plate until then.
Two reports for Documents in Advance, a considerable amount of legwork on YM Nominations and about half way through the MM end of year accounts later I'm rather glad not to be trying to fit in a real job as well just yet! Especially as I still have to finish the accounts, plan a seminar weekend and keep plodding away to to find a way to ensure that JYF Camp happens in July this year that doesn't mean me doing it on my own...
I've also been asked if I'm available for something else in the winter and now I'm wondering if maybe a 'proper job' can wait until after that! Luckily some odds and ends of work to help out friends/whānau have been put my way so financially it isn't totally unrealistic if I can also get some relieving work in Terms 1 & 2.
The fact that things keep turning up is leading me to think that this is how things are meant to be right now. Being available to help out where and when needed certainly looks like keeping me busy for a while yet that is for sure!
On Boxing Day I headed off to join just over 70 other Quakers for Summer Gathering down near Pukerau outside of Gore on the Mainland. With Meeting for Worship every day and lots of F/friends very good at asking the difficult but needful questions I had wondered if perhaps inspiration would come as to my next direction but instead I came away with an even longer Quaker to do list and the realisation that there really was no point in trying to find a 'proper job' until March at least as I had so much else on my plate until then.
Two reports for Documents in Advance, a considerable amount of legwork on YM Nominations and about half way through the MM end of year accounts later I'm rather glad not to be trying to fit in a real job as well just yet! Especially as I still have to finish the accounts, plan a seminar weekend and keep plodding away to to find a way to ensure that JYF Camp happens in July this year that doesn't mean me doing it on my own...
I've also been asked if I'm available for something else in the winter and now I'm wondering if maybe a 'proper job' can wait until after that! Luckily some odds and ends of work to help out friends/whānau have been put my way so financially it isn't totally unrealistic if I can also get some relieving work in Terms 1 & 2.
The fact that things keep turning up is leading me to think that this is how things are meant to be right now. Being available to help out where and when needed certainly looks like keeping me busy for a while yet that is for sure!
Friday, January 18, 2013
purpose
(I wrote this before Christmas - no idea why it didn't get posted at the time...)
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in life has a purpose."
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
I came across this quote a few days ago in a book of quotes I was leafing through checking if it would be a suitable gift for someone and it jumped out at me. It reminded me of a conversation with Rosie at the World Conference about grief and 'why did Annie have to die?', and how much easier that was to answer until it was Natalie who had died too. I was reading this quote just a few days after the Sandy Hook shootings and endlessly we were hearing about it on the news, plus the anguished pleas from various concerned others on facebook that we not forget the deaths of children in Pakistan, Afghanistan etc at US miltiary hands. To what purpose are all these deaths? The individuals taken from us too young from illness, those who lose their lives in conflicts between countries and within the heads of disturbed individuals?
I've heard various responses about god's will, etc some off the scale of idiocy as far as I'm concerned and others more reasoned. Peter Beck's words in the wake of the fatal February 22nd 2011 Christchurch earthquakes came back to me that (to paraphrase) the earthquakes weren't an act of god, they were an act of nature, the acts of god were in the work of those doing the rescue and clean up work. So I guess in theory the same can be said in terms of everything having a purpose - it isn't the events themselves that happen for a reason but it is how we respond to them that can give them purpose and meaning.
This year some friends of mine in Scotland have been doing 12 challenges in 12 months in 2012 to raise funds for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust. Our F/friend Anders has Cystic Fibrosis and is currently undergoing assessment for a lung transplant - he has given them a sense of purpose (why else would you ride a tandem up the 7 hills of Edinburgh in Victorian costume or do every single class at at training gym in on day?), same as all those who have been fundraising for cancer research and hospices have been motivated by the loss or impending loss of someone dear to them or from the gratitude for still being alive thanks to earlier research.
Adversity is a strange beast , but it can often bring out the best in us.
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in life has a purpose."
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
I came across this quote a few days ago in a book of quotes I was leafing through checking if it would be a suitable gift for someone and it jumped out at me. It reminded me of a conversation with Rosie at the World Conference about grief and 'why did Annie have to die?', and how much easier that was to answer until it was Natalie who had died too. I was reading this quote just a few days after the Sandy Hook shootings and endlessly we were hearing about it on the news, plus the anguished pleas from various concerned others on facebook that we not forget the deaths of children in Pakistan, Afghanistan etc at US miltiary hands. To what purpose are all these deaths? The individuals taken from us too young from illness, those who lose their lives in conflicts between countries and within the heads of disturbed individuals?
I've heard various responses about god's will, etc some off the scale of idiocy as far as I'm concerned and others more reasoned. Peter Beck's words in the wake of the fatal February 22nd 2011 Christchurch earthquakes came back to me that (to paraphrase) the earthquakes weren't an act of god, they were an act of nature, the acts of god were in the work of those doing the rescue and clean up work. So I guess in theory the same can be said in terms of everything having a purpose - it isn't the events themselves that happen for a reason but it is how we respond to them that can give them purpose and meaning.
This year some friends of mine in Scotland have been doing 12 challenges in 12 months in 2012 to raise funds for the Cystic Fibrosis Trust. Our F/friend Anders has Cystic Fibrosis and is currently undergoing assessment for a lung transplant - he has given them a sense of purpose (why else would you ride a tandem up the 7 hills of Edinburgh in Victorian costume or do every single class at at training gym in on day?), same as all those who have been fundraising for cancer research and hospices have been motivated by the loss or impending loss of someone dear to them or from the gratitude for still being alive thanks to earlier research.
Adversity is a strange beast , but it can often bring out the best in us.
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