don't worry, be happy...

I was reading a post about 'the habits of supremely happy people' several people I know had shared on facebook and it made me think about a the power of positive thinking. Over the last few years various friends of mine realised that many of their facebook updates were moans and groans - mostly probably around the time the 'word clouds' of your most common status words became a popular widget to play with - and decided to make an effort to post positive updates, or at least see the silver lining in the bad times. From what I can gather it has made a difference to how they see their lives, I know it certainly makes a difference to how I feel reading my newsfeed!

Whilst I don't do anything like the 'find one thing every day to be grateful for' and post it online challenge I did have a gratitude journal a few years ago when I was going through a rough time. Each night as I went to bed I wrote down five things to be grateful for that day. Some days it was easy and I could've filled the page, others it was tough going even to get started. I spotted the book that had set me off on this journey on the library shelves this week when shelving and almost borrowed it thinking that maybe I should revisit it and see what other changes I could now bring into my life. The only reason I didn't was the pile of books I already have waiting to be read - some of which need to go back to the library! But it is good to know it is there.

I realised whilst keeping the journal that half the time what got me down was the negative attitudes of those around me. When all you hear are complaints about yourself and other people it is hard to keep positive - the old adage of 'if you can't say something nice say nothing at all' is one that could do with being put into practice more often! It is especially hard if you never or rarely hear the good things about yourself and others, trying to figure out what is expected of you from what isn't appreciated about others is a pretty soul destroying method which also leaves you wondering what complaints are made about you that you don't hear!

Focusing on the good things that happen, especially in times of adversity, certainly makes life more bearable. I've also found that it has made me realise that sometimes the best things that happen seem to occur at the darkest of times. Maybe it is just like a drink when you're parched tasting better than one you didn't really need and it is the adversity that makes it seem better than it would otherwise, but the reason why it feels so good doesn't take away from the pleasure.

When I was in Melborne earlier this year I was trying to remember the name of a film I had watched which featured the work of Masaru Emoto who showed quite graphically the effect of negative images and sounds on water - thankfully Jo could remember it was 'What the bleep do we know?' so I could track it down again. Given how much of our bodies is made up of water is it any wonder that being surrounded by negativity has an impact on us physically, mentally and emotionally?

I do wonder sometimes if the things people do (or don't do!) that seem to cause so much stress for others are often done (or not done...) in ignorance of the impact on others. We're not all mind readers (probably a good thing really) so rather than complain, maybe we just need to be more upfront about asking for what it is that we need in order to have a happier life, not just for ourselves but those around us too.

below the line

As various people are gearing up to do the 'Live below the line' challenge links to the TEAR Fund's Live Below the Line cookbook have been popping up around the place. I can't quite see Countdown's Feed Four for $15 being all that helpful for the challenge, but at least it is addressing the issue of eating well on a budget and making it normal to cook to a budget - and with careful shopping locally at Bin Inns etc and markets you could probably cook those same meals for less.

As I've said before it is all very well being able to cook a cheap meal, but it isn't always cheap to buy the ingredients if that makes sense. For example recipe might call for 1/4tsp of cayenne pepper which would cost very little, but generally you have to buy at least 50g at a time at around $2-$3. If your food budget is $2.25 a day then buying a box of spices costing a full days allocation probably isn't even on your radar.

The recommendation in the TEAR fund cookbook is to club together with others and pool your money to make it go further - brilliant suggestion, but why only do it for one week of the year? Cooking for one is not a very good economical model - three people cooking for themselves uses far more power than one person cooking for three! (three lots of cooking, three lots of washing up, three people's time...) Plus many folk are like me and don't really enjoy just cooking for themselves but are more than happy to make the effort for others.

It makes sense to share meals, it is more sociable too. In Otago Presbyterian Support do a lot to support those in poverty, one of the community schemes we heard about at the Peace in Education conference in Dunedin last year was where local groups of single parents of young children were enabled to get to know each other and have shared meals together once a week in each others homes. This way the kids got to make friends and have someone to play with, the adults had other adults to talk to and the support that this can provide, and by having a pot luck meal everyone contributed something simple but together it made a really good meal for everyone. This struck me as such a fantastic idea, and one that would work with all sorts of people, not just single parents.

We've just had our two monthly shared meal for the local TimeBank, one of the co-ordinators was suggesting it goes back to being quarterly as only a fraction of the membership turn up each time, her thinking being more people would make the effort if it were less frequent. But I'll be arguing against that - I've only been involved for two so far, but each time I've met new people, and other people new to TimeBank so the networking which is a key part of how TimeBank works can happen at these meals and get things going far faster than if we had to wait for a quarterly get-together. But more critically I heard a few people say how they appreciate getting together for shared meals as they live alone. Poverty can be a poverty of social life, or company as well as, or instead of, financial.

I don't know exactly how much the food contributions I took cost (it would be interesting to work it out) but I do know it wasn't a lot - especially the rice dish (cheers Audra, I'm still using your Indian cookery course recipes!), yet the meal we all just had was a good spread and certainly filling enough to count as our main meal of the day (and I have brough home some left-overs!). I feel well fed physically and socially.

Whilst I'm living on a budget at least it isn't as bad as $2.25 a day for food (more like $6) and I have the luxury of being able to buy in bulk and average out my budget over months. But one thing I have found since I've been working far fewer hours in a week is how much richer my life feels, and if I have to live with a paucity of anything, I'd far rather it was money than heath, happiness or a sense of fullfilment.

needs must

Tomorrow I have to facilitate a workshop at our MM Regional Gathering. It is a follow up to a national series of workshops run mostly last year looking at our spiritual educational and nurture needs (the report of which is here). We had hoped to get one or two of the original facilitating team up to do this, but it turned into a case of 'if you want something done, do it yourself'- although thankfully one of them did design the workshop for me!

I'd really hoped not to have to facilitate as I've learned from experience that as a facilitator you don't really get to participate, plus I've been trying to shake off the assumption that 'Anna will do it' every time anything needs run north of the Gateway tunnel. Not very successfully obviously... Although at the moment I've probably got more time and energy for this sort of thing than I've had for a while, but it is nice not to feel responsible for how something goes occassionally!

So as I gather together my big pieces of paper, pens, post-it notes ready in their bundles of five, faciliator's notes and contribution for the shared meal it is with a mixture of 'here we go again...' but also a hopefulness that some energy will be created for future ways and means of working together as a MM. We're still in our first year as a new entity and it has taken time for things to take on the required new shape as we discover that square pegs don't fit in round holes and what 'worked' (to varying degrees) before doesn't always transition very well unchanged into this new era.

condensing months into minutes

I bumped into a friend today in town who I haven't seen since late last year. Depsite living only a few miles apart we seem to fail abysmally when it comes to keeping in touch, yet thankfully it is one of those friendships where the months having gone by mean so little and we pick up as if we'd seen each other last week.

During the ten minute 'so what have you been doing since November?' conversation (periodically interupted by a reasonably patient 6yr old who thought we'd been chatting quite long enough already thank you and can we go now Mum?) we covered our respective ECE lives - or mostly lack of it in my case, although I had just come from kindergarten when we bumped into each other albeit not for work purposes. As we chatted I repeated something I'd said recently on another ECE friend's facebook update when she commented on how sick she was yet again - so far this year I have had one three day cold. And that is it. Not two or more week-long minimum colds per term (there being four terms in a year), no 4-6 week bout of bronchitis (although I did have a few days of a tickly throat I suppose), no tummy bugs, no migraines. Basically I've been healthier this year than I have in years, so many years in fact that I can't actually remember one where I've had so few bugs and viruses (as opposed to ongoing chronic conditions that are just part of life). The moral of the story being? Keep away from the germ factories that are Early Childhood Centres perchance?

Keeping away from the coughs and colds has no doubt helped no end, but also being away from the stresses of the job has probably had a huge impact too. I still really enjoy popping in to kindergarten, I really appreciate time spent with the children and I loved spending a couple of days observing them and taking photos of their learning journeys. But it has to be said I really appreciated being able to walk away again and know that the extent of the follow-up work for me at present was editing +150 photographs and tracking down parental consent for potential publication rather than feeling the pressure to produce the quality documentation that I know I am capable of, if only I had an extra 24hrs in each week with no other demands...

As the friend I bumped into is halfway through her ECE degree I felt a bit bad about pointing out the difference being out of ECE had made to my health - especially as I'd encouraged her to study in the first place! But it isn't like she went into it blind to such issues, and in anycase her health is far more robust than mine has been in decades. It was great to talk about it all though, one of those conversations where even in just a few minutes you realise in sharing you've clarified a lot of things in your own head. We used to have lots of conversations like this, usually sitting in the car chatting for ages as she dropped me off from our evening class. All the more reason really why we ought to be better at keeping in touch - I miss those conversations, the ability we seem to have helping each other see things more clearly is something we both value. I definitely intend to make sure we see each other before another 9 months has gone past!

unconditional basic income

The concept of an unconditional basic income is one that I've only come across recently, but since I have it seems to be popping up all over the place! In a nutshell the theory is everyone gets enough money to get by on, not with a lavish lifestyle but with all the necessities met. Obviously people can earn more by working but if they can't work say for health reasons, caring for someone else etc or don't want to as they have far too much else they want to do with their life, including being useful to society as volunteers etc then they can still get by. The fact that most people want to work/earn more money means the required labour force is still there. It makes being an artist, crafts person, actor, musician for a living all the more achievable as you can focus on your art for its own sake rather than the balance sheet. For inventors and dreamers of all persuasions it gives a place of security from which to persue your goals and dreams - how much more could we achieve if energy was put into that rather than simply covering the bills? This has to be a good thing for the world as a whole.

The economics of it stack up pretty well. For a start you can scrap all the assessment bureaucracy around entitlement to benefits! There may still be a need for additional help for those with severe health issues as many of the services, medications, therapies and transport etc don't come cheaply, but generally most benefits would be come uneccessary, likewise state pensions. Administering a system where the vast majority of people get exactly the same would be far cheaper to run. Then of course you free up people to care, volunteer etc which generally reduces the financial costs to society.... you can see now why I've become quite keen on the idea! And then when I think of Jimmy and co at Generation Zero working crazy hours, to both earn a living and campaign, the unconditional basic income makes more and more sense.

I'm basically a stay-at-home carer who gets paid for an hour a day but does the rest for love. I have time to do a lot of gardening which reduces the cost to the taxpayer as fewer hours are claimed for paid gardening help via WINZ (I am boarding with a supergold/community services card holder!). I do a lot of voluntary work - helping out at the local under-funded council library for a start - if it wasn't for their volunteers they couldn't provide the services they do. I also volunteer for our local TimeBank (a local community service) as well as being a member of it and of course there's the usual portfolio of Quaker responsibilities at local, national and international levels. I am on the relievers list (supply teachers) for the local kindergartens but that work is sporadic and unreliable. I'm busy filling what time is left with a variety of crafts, homeskills etc which whilst not contributing to the economy particularly, are generally environmentally friendly.

Financially I'm okay for now, due to careful stewardship of my redundancy money, a couple of windfalls and some savings but it won't last forever, in fact realistically it won't last beyond this year. But I feel like I don't have time for a job! Every day is busy, full, meaningful and useful to society. I don't want to get a job for the sake of simply getting a job. If I'm going to be tied to being somewhere else for X number of hours a week I want it to be as meaningful (to me) as what I'd otherwise be doing in that same time. I love having the flexibility of being able to take on challenges such as take photographs for an early childhood journal; do an extra few hours at the library because they are short staffed that week; know I can accompany Phyllis to someone's house for an afternoon meeting as she's worried about negotiating some steps she hasn't had to face since her fall, without it complicating my day - and those are just a few recent examples.

Having worked with a strong sense of calling before, and known what is like when leadings carry you to where everything just falls into place it is both a blessing and a burden. It is hard to settle for second best! But it also gives me the faith to wait and keep seeking for what feels right rather than get trapped in the monotony of applying for jobs I don't especially want and probably aren't suited for just so I can say I've tried. I'm extremely grateful for the fact that I have a grace period in which to let life settle and there be time for the universe to unfold, no doubt exactly as it should. I just wish someone would drop me a line soon to let me know which direction it is going in as somehow I can't see the universal basic income being a reality before the year is out!