Tuesday, May 29, 2007


When I came out here to live I made a pact with myself - to say 'yes' to whatever offers and opportunities came my way.

Mostly it's been little things like going to see a film I wouldn't have otherwise, or going to the ballet (which it would never have crossed my mind to have done) but sometimes the little things have led to people and places I would have otherwise missed. I've said yes to one of two offers others would have cautioned me against but each time it's proved to have been the right thing to do.

I was watching a film the other night (that I most certainly wouldn't have seen had I not been invited along, cheers John - and Jo for wanting us all to see it) which talked about the power of positive thought on what happens in our lives amongst other concepts - it showed the Japanese research example of the effects on water of different emotions, a blessing, music etc with the comment that as we're made up of 90% water what effect do our thoughts have on us?

I've spent probably more time than I ought to admit to since I moved up here working my way through the Robert Jordan 'Wheel of Time' series of books in which three of the main characters are ta'veren - ie they shape the pattern of the world around them far more than is considered usual, not even by doing anything in particular but by simply being there - with people finding themselves doing things they'd never have done otherwise just because they are in the ta'veren's presence. I've thought a lot over the last year or so about the effects we have on each others lives - sometimes simply by being there, by being patterns and examples - intentionally or otherwise. I found myself likening certain people in my life to ta'veren and then with a somewhat rueful smile realised they could probably say the same about me!

We all affect each others lives so much more than we think we do. Over the last couple of weeks I've been reminded a lot of Jane and Catherine who I'm pretty sure wouldn't have a clue who I am now (if they ever did). They were two 6th formers who came in each Wednesday afternoon to one of the Primary Schools I went to and helped with craftwork. That was not far off 30 years ago yet I can still picture them sitting there helping us embroider tablemats and needlecases or bake scones and biscuits - knowing the difference their presence made to us is partly why I'm helping out nextdoor with the kids reading.

So given the impact our thoughts and attitudes can have on ourselves and our actions on others I'm sticking to my saying yes, my being positive about things (Pollyanna again!) but one of the other things raised by the film has given me a lot of pause for thought and a sense of need for some worshipful space to work it out in. What do I really want to happen in my life? Not just on the surface, but right down to the core of my being... that one raises far more questions than it does answers. For me it comes back yet again to the concept of what's 'calling'. And other than to be right here, right now I still don't have a clear picture for that one yet. Is simply being here enough?

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