Saturday, March 30, 2013

limbo land again

Well when I was saying I wanted some time at home it was to work through what looked like a long list of projects around the house that I thought would take months to get through. Having had Joanne here and the pair of us working flat out that list has been blitzed and very little remains 'to do'. Until we get some more rain there isn't much to do in the garden other than pull out convovulous, but that is a relentless and tedious task best done in short but furious bursts of activity... so now what?

Well I've various sewing projects on the go and the inevitable Quaker committee work which never quite seems to end no matter how much I think I've got on top of it, but a feeling of listlessness has started to descend, a sense of having no direction. Phyllis is on the mend and getting less dependent upon support, and certainly is beyond the point of caring being a full time activity. So I'm back to thinking 'now what?' What has the universe in store for me next?

It is Easter this weekend, something I, with my northern hemisphere upbringing, still associate with spring, growth, new beginnings and new life (I'm all for keeping the festival, I just don't think it should be in autumn as I'm sure I mention every year...). But for once it actually feels slightly more relevant in its timing for me. Not really knowing what was coming next a few months ago didn't feel so bad given I had plenty lined up to keep me occupied, but this time it is a bigger test of faith that something will turn up. The bank accounts are emptier (but thankfully not empty) too, and although I'm still within my comfort zone of cushioning it would be nice to know there was more coming in than the trickle to date.

I had hoped that the last couple of months or so would give me some hint of the direction I would like to head in next. I guess subconsciously I'm drawing parallels with 2004 when I set off in early January to come here for the Triennial - by mid March the WGYF administrators job came up as an option and there you go - bingo! Plus of course I'd already decided to apply to be Resident Friend in Wellington so had short and mid term solutions to the 'what next?' question. This time around the initial few months got filled up fast (as they did with travelling in 2004) but I'm still left with a fairly empty diary for the rest of the year and no lighbulb moments to light up the tunnel.

I suppose one way to ensure something turns up is get started on a time consuming project as a distraction, but I'm not so sure that Sod's Law works if you're expecting and planning for it! Ah well, better get back to that sewing machine - procrastinating doesn't have the same appeal when the only reason for it is postponing getting to the bottom of the 'to do' list...

No comments: