I'm not saying I would, and the determindly practical streak in me has mentally packed my passport, birth certificate, purse, mobile/cell phone, a full waterbottle & some flapjack, a small amount of toiletries and at the very least some clean knickers - oh and a coat. But they are things that would just make whatever next easier. However the point of this is that the only things I wasn't prepared to leave behind I wear all the time anyway - my Granny's wedding ring and my taonga (pendant) from the Triennial which I have worn constantly since Jan '04 and still get quite panicky at the thought of it being cut off (those knots ain't shifting!). So if I did lose everything in a fire/earthquake/tsunami etc it would be sad but I know I could let go of the loss and start again. Ok so the chances of Len Lothian U Store in Edinburgh being devastated by fire AND me losing everything here are a tad unlikely but even so (and as Terry Pratchett says one in a million chances happen nine times out of ten...)
A connection I hadn't considered but that was suggested to me was that maybe this all fitted in to where I was spiritually, and with my life and where I'm at with it. I don't know what I'll be doing in just over a years time, where I'll be living, where the next lot of income will come from (my money won't last indefinitely) - but none of this bothers me, yet it is the kind of thing that keeps others lying awake at night. I have a strong belief that the right thing will turn up at the right time and in anycase worrying about it isn't going to solve anything!
In the bible study group just over a week ago we were looking at the following passage (it's in Matthew, Mark & Luke)
What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? (Message Bible translation)
The passage above resonated with me as twice in my life now I've walked away from a life which on paper looked as tho' I had everything I needed but was leaving me feeling 'spiritually empty', that I was being dragged further and further from being my 'true self'. Neither time was easy but second time was easier in that I had faith in myself that I could pull it off, and in the world to support me. Faith that my life wouldn't disintegrate into a heap at my feet, that help would be there - if I had the sense to ask for it - and that I'd feel far better about me as a person for making the change. Having faith in the greater scheme of things has for me become critical, for me it isn't so much as case of 'god will provide' but 'spirit will lead' - ie I have to listen and take up the challenge, it won't get handed to me on a plate.
For someone who has been an inveterate hoarder most of their life, that still has in a box all kinds of silly mementos and a now rather full folder of 'rosy glows'/Summer School magazines etc not to mention several boxes of photograph albums, to get to the point where I can honestly say I could walk away from it is really quite something. But I've realised that whilst the things help prop up the memories it is the memories themselves that are important, and even more so the people in my life. I still very much value what I have, and many things I have huge sentimental/emotional attachment to - I'm not about to chuck everything out. But to accept that I own my stuff, it doesn't own me - my life could go on happily enough without it - is incredibly liberating.