Monday, September 19, 2005

got the collywobbles

Well that's how my Granny Willison would have described how I feel right now!

I've got all my pieces of paper, mugshots, passport, train tickets (that was close - they were in my jacket pocket and I nearly left without it...) and now have to try to concentrate for 3 more hours before going for my train to London. At least Emanuele (my italian flatmate) is coming to see me off at the station - he returns to Italy whilst I'm away.

I've tried to work this morning (honest), I've tried the online Meeting for Worship but there was no-one else there and I'm no good on my own, I've found all sorts of things to do to distract me but it isn't working - I'm still as nervous as anything about going for my visa and I haven't even got any fingernails left thanks to the Ashes series!

I'm remembering how Grace had Gen come up the front of the hall with her and just stand holding her hand when she had to speak to us all at WGYF, not to do anything else but be there so she didn't feel alone - as Piglet said 'I just wanted to be sure of you'. Feeling very much in need of someone to be there tomorrow to hold my hand. When Ute gave her final presentation she brought out her piece of vine and descibed it as a talisman, asking do Quakers have such things? Well this one does - my taonga (literally 'treasure'), my pendant from the FWCC Triennial which I have worn ever since and have a tendency to reach for when I need reassurance and reminding of everyone out there. So I'll have that with me and I guess as tailsmen go they don't come much more appropriate for a NZ visa than that!

Oh well, there's nothing else for it, I'd better go and put the kettle on....

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