connections

Think of Me as Happiness

If I cross your mind -
Please let me cross it slowly.
Think of me as shining stars.
I know there must be a million thoughts
Rushing into your mind
And if there's one of me left,
Think of me as happiness,
If I cross your mind
With love.

Rebecca Z Mkan-dawire
Johannesburg, S.A.

I remembered about this poem yesterday as I was walking home - the vague train of thought being that there was a Co-counselling Network meeting in the Quaker Centre the night before (well it was a longer train of thought than that but the rest is irrelevant) and I came across the poem in a magazine that Mary Alice brought to an Edinburgh Link Group weekend when she led a session for us on co-counselling.

Rachel, Amy and I all sat around the magazine on the floor and copied it down - Rachel is now being a teaching assistant in Germany, goodness knows where Amy is (somewhere exciting if she has anything to do with it I'm sure!) and I'm now in Wellington - not much chance of the three of us being together again in a hurry... Rachel is off to EMEYF Annual Meeting (this weekend? I've lost track...) and will meet a whole heap of WGYF folk and others I know. It's nice to think of her becoming part of that community having known her through various Childrens and Young Peoples programmes over the years and said hello as we passed near my flat on her way to school, and latterly knowing her as a fellow staff member at NYFSG rather than as an 'ickle' person.

The poem has been sitting in my 'drafts' folder of my email for a few years now - I wanted to be able to send it to someone whilst I was travelling back in 2004 and I ended up writing it out for someone I stayed with and leaving it on their doorstep with a Peace Lily as a thankyou. They have been much in my thoughts today, our lives being connected in many ways.

I've also been thinking much about the person I originally carried the poem with me for, wondering how they are - and as it happens the cd that just finished playing reminds me of them too. Someone else who shares my love for this country and who was probably also at that same Link Group weekend... no idea if I ever did send it to them in the end! It's a poem I'd like to pass on to someone else too if I only knew how. Hmmm, more links between those three people - different relationships between me and them but with strong similarities in how important their friendship is to me, and similar experiences of fear at the thought of doing without it.

There are so many connections, every day little things, random trains of thought spiralling off from something small and seemingly insignificant and irrelevant to my life. Memories triggered off, stories shared.