choices

Well I guess it was what William would call an 'assembly moment' when I read the 'Clipboard' leaflet from the Apricot muesli box this morning as I topped things up after my B&B guests had finished. He reckons he gets all his best school assembly ideas from the Hubbards Clipboard leaflets, for me it was more of a blogpost coming together, and that sense I sometimes get in Meeting when ministry comes along and confirms my sense of having followed where led rather than blindly stumbling around in the dark hoping for the best.

Clipboard this time was about the choices we make every day, big and little, and the impact they invariably have not only on ourselves but on others too. The commentary on the front ended with a quote from Albert Camus 'Life is the sum of all your choices' which sat nicely for me with one inside which says ' Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions' - a pity that author is unknown.

A while ago I posted here about Don's comment to me at Whanganui how maybe one of the reasons why I'm here is to learn to let go. When I wrote that post I thought I'd got better at it - but I was still doing so reluctantly; now the sense of calmness that has come along with my decision to accept something that whilst I know it's right still isn't easy gives me hope that I've made some more progress. I've also realised that 'letting go' doesn't mean 'giving up'. In both instances it has been a case of giving someone else the space to make their own choices and find clearness for themselves rather than trying to impose my own views and wishes. In both cases though I know that whilst I may not end up liking the result (only time will tell) I'd end up feeling far worse trying to bypass or hinder that process for short term results.

After a somewhat tumultuous few weeks where serenity has felt far from present in my life I feel like I've got that back. I've got to trust the universe, have faith that it knows what it's doing, and in other people to make the decisions they need to in faith. Maybe that's somewhat naive of me, but from my experience (gained from 'bad' decisions in the past!) and to really be true to what's calling to me from inside it's what I have to do.