Sunday, December 04, 2005

Why?

Why is it that something designed to avoid painful mistakes can cause so much emotional pain and draining business sessions?

Why is it that the less you want to say something the more you realise you have to?

Why is it that when you feel like you are the worst possible person in the world to be saying something the finger points at you and that little voice inside you drags you kicking and screaming into the arena?

Why is it I can't get hold of those who understand what on earth I'm talking about?

Why is it that I can't stop worrying and trust that if it was truly spirit led then it'll be ok, eventually?

Why me?

And why is it that I think I know the answer to the last one and still don't deal with it?

2 comments:

kate said...

Why you? Because in the first three you have answered the question in the question. And why you can't get hold of anyone to talk to? Because you have to accept it and learn by yourself to trust there's a reason for everything, and if it's you, it has to be you. Have strength, faith, and faith in yourself. Then go and ask the first three questions again, in the knowledge that you know the answer.

From the prayers that came with my holding cross:

For the courage of the martyrs,
I thank you;
for courage to stand up for what I believe,
I ask you.
For the strength of all who died for you,
I thank you;
for strength to stand firm when the crowd disagrees,
I ask you.
For the joy of your saints,
I thank you;
for delight in the gift of each moment of life,
I ask you.
Father of mercy, bless my efforts to love you, and help me, in spite of my uncertainties, to hear your call, trust your victory of live, and surrender my life into your hands.

me xx

Anna Dunford said...

Thanks to those of you who responded in your various ways - comment, messenger and email, it's good to know you are out there.

I finally did get someone on the phone, probably the one person who needed to speak to me as much as I did to them (altho' she didn't know it until I rang).

love & light
Anna